What to tell employers...

[agoddard88]

Hi Everyone. Just wondering, what have you said to your employers regarding fertility appts? I'm having so many tests etc done and my holiday allowance is running out. My employers are very family orientated but I really don't want to have to tell them we're ttc. I'm allowed time off for medical appts...but only within reason and they're starting to ask questions. Does anyone have any advise? Should I openly tell them it's personal or should I lie or tell the truth? It's a tricky decision!

Can you reduce your hours? I went part time when ttc so I could always work round my appointments.

Or can you work late/early to allow for time off.

Honestly? I fessedl up to my manager and then we worked it out between us. Made things so much easier. Good luck xx

Do you have a line manager that you trust or a HR department? I work in HR and we allow members of staff time off for hospital appointments. It may be that you have to take unpaid leave or make up the time, can you do that? Ultimately it's your business, but if they are starting to ask questions then it might be sensible to tell your line manager in confidence. There is a risk that they might jump to incorrect conclusions or even think there is something "wrong" that they have to tread carefully about and it might affect your relationships with them. I'm openly infertile, but it took a long time for me to admit that in a team of mums. They were all supportive when they found out and now it isn't even mentioned, a non-issue. Good luck OP x

I told my boss and colleagues. No secrets at my work anyway.
If everyone knew then they knew the reason for the mood swings, time off etc. My boss doesn't really want to know anyway as it involves 'girly things' (which is funny as it's a medicinal type field). I just time to arrange shift swaps, take sick or annual leave for appointments or schedule them for the morning if I have a late start.

My company are supportive but I'm just terrified that if I tell them they will try to get rid of me. I know that's illegal...but most employers hate having to pay maternity pay and I haven't been there long (6 months). I could openly tell them it's female problems but not say we're ttc...they may be suspicious but they wouldnt ask outright i dont think. also it doesn't help that my hospital is an hour away from where I work. I'm beginning to realise I definitely need to tell them something though, my gynae has booked me for 4 more appts/tests today....

I wouldn't tell them your ttc unless you're sure of their support. I think you're right to be cautious there. Telling them it's gynae is a good way to go and will match your hosp letters if they ask to see them. You could waffle on about heavy periods etc as investigation and treatment for that can be lengthy with lots of appointments.

I told my line manager at school and asked to keep it confidential. So far I haven't had any problems but then again we are pre-IVF referral and currently just investigating what my/our fertility issues are. Good luck x

OP, does your company pay above statutory? If they don't, then they're not paying the maternity pay, the government is. HTH

I thought it was your employers that pay you 90% of your average weekly earnigs for the first six weeks, not the government? and no, they don't pay above what they have to I don't think.

I told my line manager once we were into the treatment. It took a weight off, tbh, as I was worried about all the appointments. And his reaction was great: he had been worrying about me because I was seeing the doctor a lot and he was really supportive.

I have just told my boss as we have been referred for ivf. I explained our situation and that I would be having to take time for hospital appointments. He was very supportive and wished me the very best of luck! Not all bosses bite ;-) Good luck x

I'm pretty sure they get to claim back the 90% too as it's SMP but I'll check with our payroll manager and let you know!

If you haven't been employed by them for over 2 years or aren't already pregnant then unfortunately they can fire you for no reason if they don't want to pay maternity leave. Sorry but there is nothing you can do to stop them. Most employers wouldn't but if they are a small company or the boss has had a bad experience with a maternity leave then they might. Only pregnant women are protected.

No they can't, that's rubbish. An employer cannot fire a pregnant woman for being pregnant, and likewise all pregnant women who are emplyed full time are entitled to 26 weeks maternity leave. To qualify for SMP however you have to have been enployed for 39 weeks.

agoddard88 they can't fire a pregnant woman but she isn't pregnant yet!

Oh I see what you mean. Yeah I know, that's why I don't want to tell them I'm ttc. I'm going to go with 'gynaecological problems'...it isn't lying but at the same time could be a whole range of things. Plus it'll stop them wondering. Will let you know how it goes.

I told my boss it was gynae issues. Bless him, he got kind of flustered, but was ubderstanding and at least now he isn't worried about whether I'm more seriously 'ill'. Also he seemed understanding re. appointments etc. I will use the few days annual leave I have left, and if I need more I got the impression they'll allow it as medical leave. I feel very relieved!

I said gyne problems and hormone imbalance hance all the blood test no lies there.. im on clomid