Help - depression

[Mumtoason]

Hi, I'm very worried about my cousin. We're very close and she has confided in me that she is v depressed following failed clomid, failed iui and two ivf rounds with miscarriage at 13 and 14 weeks respectively. She's in her v early 40's and has been going through this now for 4.5 years! She's at the end of her tether. Struggling to get up and shower etc. I'm worried.

Her hospital is no good as all councilling offered is via telephone and people keep telling her she's got another chance! GP said can't help as she is not being treated for depression and also she won't take anti depressants because she doesn't want anything in her body to mess up the final round.

Does anyone know of any good councilling in the East London area. Would travel to Essex also for good ones.

Sorry for long message. Thanks for reading and for help.

Ah mum I'm sorry I'm miles away from you so can't offer anything practical but I really feel for her. She's lucky to have such a caring cousin as you.

I think meditation does help but I agree with you that she needs something more immediate. I think I'm going to pm you.

Did they do tests to determine the cause of the mcs?
I'm sure she just needs time to grieve, and gear herself up for another try.
I presume you mean she has another try on nhs well that is good, a lot of areas only do 1 go so at least a bit of positivity.
Would pgd help (I have no idea if that could be used on mc to determine a genetic cause)
I don't know any councilling but it does sound like she needs something.
I understand though you need to feel it won't have the same result but if they don't know why.
I would be asking if they have any ideas why , could age be a factor. It's difficult I know but if so would she consider donor eggs to get the baby. (We had to consider donor sperm) but luckily just had enough.

hi,

you sound such a lovely person to be so caring of your cousin.

I didn't go through half as much as her with fertility treatment but when my last lot failed I was depressed (had anxiety too) when I saw my Dr he suggested a.d's which I originally said no too. I was offered counselling instead. ( eventually went back and had tablets)
I looked on a website for infertility counselling (just typed into search engine) and the website had a list for all over the country. which might be helpful?
In the end I had cognitive behavioural t therapy counselling instead. my counsellor new very little about infertility but gave me the tools to deal with it iyswim so might be worth her looking into that?

Also is she in a work health insurance scheme? Sometimes they pay for it?

It's good she's talking to someone though. Let her keep doing this. I found it was reassuring times for people to agree how crap things were rather than trying to cheer me up.

Hope that helps
inthe