Anyone want an online pen-pal to share vents as we TTC?

[Shellster52]

Have been TTC for 32 cycles. I used to email back and forth to a lady I found online who was also suffering infertility. It was so nice to have a place where I could vent to someone who understood. She got pregnant on her third IVF cycle and so I am trying to leave her alone now so she can enjoy her life on the other side of infertility. So I am hoping that someone else would love to chat back and forth with me. It's just a bit more personal than the blogs on Mumsnet because you are chatting to the one person so they know your history and what you are going though. It really does help to have a place to be able to vent so if you would like to chat back and forth with me, please let me know!

Okay, I know I just started this thread and now I am the first to post on it! I just needed a place to vent so bad and no other thread fits my general rant.

I had my 4th IVF failure with my period arriving on 17th Dec 2013. Today my period arrived again and I am really concerned because it is super light - I mean really light. I could have nothing there to catch the flow, and it wouldn't even leak through to my clothes. (Sorry - TMI). I have always been a poor responder with IVF which is an indication that my ovaries are nearing their end even though I am only 36. I have also read that our periods get lighter as our cycles wind up and we head towards menopause so now with my nearly non existant period, I am super concerned.

I have an appointment at a new IVF clinic on 4th Feb but I feel so stressed and just want answers now - not in a months time. I am going to have a day 2 blood test tomorrow and hope that my FSH is not sky high. Hopefully that gives me some relief in the meantime until my appointment

If you have gotten this far, thank you so much for listening to my rant. If you have anything on your mind, please feel free to rant away in reply.

Hi Shellster

There's a small group of us about 30 ish who started a Facebook group earlier this year, most of us were from Fertility Friends Forum, its a lot more personal and you get to know each other well, everyones at different stages of treatment and quite a lot already have BFPs so there are a few scan pictures knocking about too just letting you know, me know if you fancy joining, no problem if not though

Lauren x

Id like to be a penpal shellster. And I'd like to join the fb group too if poss?
Thank you.

I will inbox you Tilly x

My rant is about the last couple of days of the 2ww - I hate it! AF is due tomorrow or Wednesday and I'm over-analysing every twinge. I don't mind the 2ww in itself, it is just the last few hours that are so frustrating!

Good luck with your new clinic Shellster. I know what you mean - the waiting in between appointments is awful.

I would to like to join the group - can you do it without nosy friends and relatives seeing that you're a member?!

Hx

Yep its completely secret no one can see it unless you are In it, you will have to add me on FB so I can add you xx

Sounds good Lauren.

I have a facebook account but am not familiar with it (I even had to have someone else set up my account for me). So give me some basic steps as to what to do to join and I will figure it out from there. How do I find you on FB to add you so you can add me to the group? Thank you for the offer Lauren.

tillyann, glad you are happy to be insane infertility pen pals together. I will send a message to your mumsnet inbox too!

Any news yet Hedgehog in the last hours of your tww? I know what you mean about over analysing every twinge. I don't even get my hopes up any more in a natural cycle but last IVF I was over analysing every cramp and twinge hoping it was implantation.

I will inbox you some info later to see if you can find me them I can add you to it, all you will need to doing is accept the invitation to the group, its worth it of you can manage it, great support on there and made some true friends xx

Everyone seems very nice already . Somehow when you see the faces on Facebook it reminds you that there are real people going through the same thing.

Temp dropped this morning Shellster, so I think af is imminent. I had such good charts this last few months that I was convinced it would work!

Hc

I'm so sorry Hedgehog. I hope the fact that you have an appointment and a plan of action going forward helps to get you through. I have had a few failed IVF's so I know the pain of failure all too well and just wish I could take it all away for you!

Sorry late reply hectic at work this week....I remember back when I got referred to gynae when I told my GP I couldn't conceive, I had high prolactin and a short luteal phase and was convinced that was it and I would just need clomid and everything would be fine, fast forward a few years I have had...
Countless bloods
Ultrasounds
MRI scan x2
HSG x3
Laparoscopy x2
Cystoscopy x2
Colonoscopy x2

Been diagnosed with...
Low AMH -2
High FSH -23
Low AFC-4
POF/Early menopause
Stage 4 endometriosis
Tubal issues-Hydrosalpinx
Male factors-Low count

During my ops had stage 4 endometriosis removed from my bladder, bowel, my tube removed and 1 unblocked, teeters unblocked, everything untangled, ovary resection, cysts removed even had one at 15cm, I had my bowel reinforced as they thinned it so much and a bag for my bladder for a short while as I couldn't use the loo after.

I then had 3 months in Prostap (chemical menopause)

Had a cycle of ICSI with a double transfer and never made it to test day, started a second cycle at at my baseline scan my FSH was 19 so they cancelled, it was 8 and 9 the whilst 2 years previous, they rechecked the month after and it was 23! Got called in to see the Dr last fri and they have withdrawn funding as you can only cycle with FSH of 10 and under, so.... I'm now trying to battle my CCG to let me to transfer my last 2 funded cycles to a private clinic for donor egg treatment.

Bit of a journey but I'm not giving up yet! Just need to wait for that magic letter from the postman seeing if we after accepted

Nice to have you on the Facebook group Tilly and Hedgehog

Shellster have they given you any possible reason for your cycles not working? Did you not get a BFP at all? Not even a chemical? Have you looked into immunes testing?

Lauren xx

Posted that on the wrong thread, think the menopausal symptoms are kicking in! :) x