Egg donation to sister

[Offertodonate]

I'm 37 (38 in Aug( and my sister is 46. I've v v v fortunate to have two beautiful lively girls and my sister is desperate for children. Does anyone have experience of egg donation for siblings within this age group? Also if possible how do I go about bringing the subject up with my sister?? Clearly if it's not a go-er I won't mention it...

No experience personally but just wanted to say this is a very lovely thing, I would be willing to do this for my sister too.

The only thing you need to consider is how you would feel if she got pregnant with one of your eggs, could you cope knowing it was your child?

When I was having trouble conceiving, my sister offered egg donation. I was very touched and even though we didn't need her help, she still holds a special place in my heart for the offer.

Please don't be afraid to speak to her.

Thank you for your v quick responses. I have been thinking for a little while but we were brought up in quite a strict Victorian househole where you don't talk about feelings etc.

I know that she has been v upset after speaking to her today about people being incredibly insensitive....it would be so easy to write on here but I won't. So I feel so fortunate to have my girls and know she would be a great Mum...but I don't want to make the offer until I know whether the clinics would even consider it....

Yes they would, I see adverts in the paper of all places from couples wanting egg donations. It would be IVF which your sister would have to pay for, but I would say most clinics would be willing to do this.

I like that you were bought up in a househole. I was too!
I think it is a noble and kind thing to do. Google it and find out what you can, then just simply mention it to your sister. Tell her that she doesn't have to respond at all yet, just to talk it through with her dh, that you know it is hard to talk about, but that you mean it and that you love her.
What an amazing gift. But make sure it is ok for you and your dh too.

Thank you. I will phone her this wkend and suggest it. I know my husband is a bit freaked out about it (freaked out is a little bit extreme) but he's a bit worried....however i know that they would be amazing parents and it;s unfair that they can't be simply because of biology....so if science can help, why not?

I truly believe that I would be okay if she were to get pregnant with my eggs.....it would be her child, not half mine

It's a lovely thing to do, what a lovely sister.

Before you speak to her I would just get some advice - clinics won't generally accept donors over 35. I'm not sure if that may be an HFEA rule or if it would apply in this situation. But would be worth double checking first though.

Why not ring a clinic? There are so many places all over the country that offer IVF; I'm sure one of them would be able to tell you about egg donation. If you ask to speak to the consultant's secretary or a nurse practitioner you should get some knowledgeable help (pretty sure the consultant won't come to the phone though). Good luck.

Hi. Egg donation is a truly kind and generous thing to do. i needed an egg donor myself (currently on 2ww) as i could not use my own eggs. without the donor i would simply never even have had the chance to try.

i think its a good idea to speak to clinic first to check about age. according to hfea the age limit is 36 unless there are exceptional reasons www.hfea.gov.uk/egg-donation-and-egg-sharing.html

if you do decide to do it you'll probably need to have a counselling session (we did as recipients and i'm sure our donor did too) so you and DP will be able to ask any questions and see how you really feel about it. As will your sister.

Its not an easy decision. at all.

Alternatively, your sister could get an anonymous donor - most clinics offer this.

Good luck

Its a lovely thing to do but you may be too old now to donate eggs. I sincerely hope you have either sought outside advice from a clinic or indeed looked at the HFEA's website beforehand.

This is what they write:-
Embryo donation age limits - With embryo donation, the egg donor should be aged between 18 and 35, and the sperm donor between 18 and 45. In exceptional circumstances a clinic may accept donors outside this age bracket.

Embryo donor screening - Before you donate you will be required to undergo certain screening tests in order to reduce the risks of passing on diseases or deformities to any resultant child.

Embryo donor consent - It is a legal requirement for written consent of both the sperm and egg donor to be documented for the use of donated embryos in treatment.

You can change or withdraw your consent at any time up to the point at which the embryos are used in treatment.

i have just donated eggs, its a lovely thing to do :) you may be too old but some clinics may let you try, it will depend on the quality of your eggs.

you will get counselling and then there is a lot of paperwork etc and the process itself involves taking drugs to stimulate your egg production, injecting yourself daily for about 2wks and then removal of the eggs under a general anaesthetic.

i was very lucky and had no side effects etc from the drugs, maybe a bit of bloating and pmt feelings, but some people do suffer more than others.

and yes there are screening tests etc, they took masses of blood to check for all sorts of stuff and what attila said about being able to wirthdraw consent, they will ask you if you are ok for the embryos to be frozen and for how long etc.

I hate to say it but you are probably too old to donate now. You could be a surrogate for her though :)

I think that clinics waive the age limit in cases such as yours, where the donor is known to the recipient.

Find out if it's possible first then speak to her. It's a very complicated thing to do (emotionally). I offered with my sis but after much soul searching she decided she'd rather go with a stranger's eggs. Be prepared that she may want a stranger/ younger donor if this is the route she wants to take.

Most clinics will accept you as a known donor but you would both need to have counselling, and they will do baseline tests on you to make sure you would respond to the drugs, and as you are over 35 this may be the stumbling block. Worth a couple of phone calls to local IVF clinics to enquire maybe before you approach your sister?

Thanks everyone for the replies. I haven't spoken to her yet and will phone some clinics to get their views first. I have a feeling that I won't be allowed to.....and just wish that I'd had the foresight/courage to look into this before.

I'd like to say thank you to everyone who offered advice. I phoned a clinic near where I live who were amazingly helpful. They said that as we are sisters the age restrictions wouldn't apply. They suggested having a blood test to get ovarian reserve estimated before I spoke to my sister. Cost was £90 for bloods with £50 consultation with doctor to interpret results.
I decided to speak to my sister before doing this however. She is going to speak to her husband but thinks that they won't do it due to her age and being an older mother.
I'm pleased that the offer has been made...so thank you

Tell your sister that I have had 2 successful egg donations and had my children at 41 and 42. I am seriously considering another when I am 45 - she shouldn't worry about being 46!

OP You are brave and amazing. Your sister is lucky to have you in her life, whether or not you all chose this path. Best of luck, and thanks for the update.