Who's The Best Mommy of Them All: interesting debate in the New York Times

[Medea]

roomfordebate.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/12/whos-the-best-mommy-of-them-all/

One of the participants is Ayelet Waldman, author of this essay that sent mumsnetters climbing the rafters some years back:

www.nytimes.com/2005/03/27/fashion/27love.html

in which she essentially confessed to loving her husband (Michael Chabon) more than her children--or at least that was the interpretation.

Anyway some intelligent comments in this debate.

A well written piece, my fave take away bit though is every body is probably struggling to keep their head above water.

May hold some truth

What absolute rot.

I too, love my children above my hubs, but I guarantee she had a nanny and help.

Sorry but this stinks of someone who had help.

My hubs will come first, once and only once and that's when the children don't need us anymore.

Er, nooo, I didn't not have sex when dd was a baby because I had redirected my passion to her, I was too bloody knackered!

I think the writer is being very extreme - imo you can put your baby before your partner and still fancy the pants of him and still love him. How silly, they are two different types of love.

Once I stopped being quite so knackered, sex became fab again! Better than before even. Not because I love dp more than dd, she comes first. He's an adult, we choose to be together, we love each other, but we have our own identities and our own lives. I can't have my happiness depend on another adult, I have to be responsible for my own happiness. However, dd is my baby and I would die for her in a heartbeat.

Anyway, that's my take on it. It's too early to consider these deep emotional issues!