The 'Express' is the antidote to the DM.
Every day there's a front page story along the lines of: 'Now scientists find that eating Rich Tea biscuits reduce the risk of cancer and lower your blood pressure'.
I assume that nobody under the age of 70 buys the Express.
It's an even worse paper than the DM. The day of the Haitian earthquake the Express was the only paper whose headline story was about councils failing to clear snow from footpaths.