So I reckon this swine flu malarkey is a cover up for something else -

[MadameCastafiore]

But what?

What has the government done this time that is so bad that they are having to creat mass hysteria?

Taken the flack off of how shite old Gordy is for a start hasn't it?

I didn't think he was shite before. Maybe the term might be 'getting stuff in perspective'?

Or maybe the Britush government killed Jacko too so they could bury the seminal moment of the partial nationalisation of the UK banking sector.

How many front pages has that been on? Now that is shit!

My FIL thinks that the goverment have 'let something off' or tested something that's gone horribly wrong & are using Swine Flu to cover it I'm not sure either way!

Are Australia in it too??

Perhaps its a cover up of a huges Ashes scandal

I suspect it was an alien substance recovered when they landed on the moon, that actually got released when they were looking through the archives in preparation for the 40th anniversary of the moon landing (well obviously I don't think that but thought I'd join in rather than do some work).

I think it's a cover up for MP's expenses

I think it is to take our minds off the crap weather

I think it is to take our minds of Afghanistan.

...and the thousands of sufferers are all in on it?

I reckon it's a world wide government consipracy to get rid of the poor. The rich all have tamiflu stocks and were set up with them before the first outbreak so that they were safe.

Less than a yearly income of £200,000 and you're fucked. Sorry.

I think Torchwood will save us.

Well I reckon Fred Goodwin's behind it - has bought mega shares in whoever makes tamiflu and whoever makes the vaccine and in some James Bond villain-esque stylie managed to infect the world with swine flu so he can make even more wonga to to up his measly £750k/year pension. Probably in association with that duck island MP and the one with the moat.

(this is not entirely serious btw - just in case FG's lawyers are reading...)

And don't forget the 2012 Olympics - that must be relevant...er....probably.

They are going to sneakily invade Iran while we're not looking.

And what happened to the heat wave we were promised?
They have taken that off us too....

I agree with kayteeeeeeee

Don't let Torchwood get involved! In fact they are probably using swine flu to pick off the modern equivalent of the first born sons, as in Passover. In some dodgy deal with a slimy insectoid alien.