Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
News
Original poster

mercy killing?

21 replies

bundle · 27/07/2004 15:50

have you heard about the father who's been charged with his son's murder ? will prosecuting him serve any purpose?

OP posts:
Northerner · 27/07/2004 15:54

No purpose whatsoever.

Tragic. I really feel for the family.

Jimjams · 27/07/2004 15:59

I don't know anything about Hunter syndrome. But I wonder whether it was a mercy killing or an at the end of my tether killing. I find both sad and equally understandable in this sort of situation. No application for bail was out in. Sounds a very sad story. I don't see that prosecution will achieve much.

zebra · 27/07/2004 16:02

Pretty awful condition .

Blu · 27/07/2004 16:03

And nothing in the news report suggests that he needs keeping in custody before the trial, either.

But I wonder who made the 999 call, whether both parents were in sympathy with hastening his death, and how far the boy's condition had progressed?

I don't think the police can be given the responsibility of deciding to simply ignore the law, whatever the circumstances, so the arrest is part of the process. A 100 year old man who killed his incapacitated wife was recently freed oin court, wasn't he?

Thomcat · 27/07/2004 16:13

jusat discussing this at work and the 100 yr old man Blu. Lets just hope he gets a judge with a few brain cells left and that he couple have the full support of the nation behind them. How absolutley awful. what must they have all been going through to have to resort to helping things along, and what they must be gpoing throiugh now. Just so, so sad

Piffleoffagus · 27/07/2004 16:46

it is one of those situations in that is impossible to put yourself in their shoes.
It is the hardest thing in the world... to watch someone die of a terminal illness, but how much worse if it is your child...

angelpoppet · 27/07/2004 16:52

I'm in 2 minds over this. On one hand I agree that prosecuting him would not serve any purpose but on the other hand....
I read the link above about what the illness is and it doesn't sound like it causes massive amounts of pain (I might be totally wrong in saying this) unlike cancer or similar. Also with alot of euthanisia cases the patient has asked to die to be removed from the suffering but I can't see that a 10 year old boy would ask to die. Would he even understand that.

Either way I do sympathise and my opinion I would imagine is greatly different to many of you.

Thomcat · 27/07/2004 17:04

I wouldn't want to begin to imagine what it must be like to watch your child die and to suffer doing so:

The child has frequent respiratory infections, and as the disease progresses a typical constellation of physical signs becomes evident: protuberant abdomen, claw hands, excessive hair growth, coarsening of the face with grotesque facial features; retarded growth, and behaviour problems.

The mental and physical defects are caused by a defect in the chemical breakdown of the mucopolysaccharides, carbohydrates essential in the development of the connective tissues, and the consequent accumulation of mucopolysaccharides in the body.

It makes its first appearance during the first three years of life. An affected child may appear normal up to about 1 year of life. The visceral involvement is progressive and death by early adulthood is usual. Most patients die before age 15.

dottee · 27/07/2004 17:15

I knew of the Hoather boys from Rochdale scroll down to GEM appeal and remember seeing them out and about. It was hard to see them deteriorate because as they did, their features became stronger. Both of them used to be pushed around in a large twin buggy ... and then only one could be seen in the buggy. Both have now passed away naturally.

Karen Hoather threw herself into charity work and she's achieved her goal in the name of her sons.

Getting back to the thread, I can understand how sad this case is. The dad must have been driven to despair to do this. The article doesn't say how advance Hunters was with his son. Being a carer of a disabled child myself, I have bad days and know the 'why us' feeling very well.

In my opinion, though, we have to have a safeguard to protect the children concerned when around them others are at breaking point. But I hope the judge is leniant (sp?).

suedonim · 27/07/2004 17:52

That is such a tragic story, I'm sure every parent feels for that couple, caught up in a nightmare. This BBC story of a baby with Edwards syndrome is in total contrast and just as heart-wrenching.

Original poster
bundle · 27/07/2004 18:10

oh god, that's awful too. I had an amnio to look for edwards and would have terminated the pregnancy (not for everyone, I know) because of how severe it is. the letting go when someone is very ill must be very, very hard.

OP posts:
Jimjams · 27/07/2004 18:25

But don't you think dottee that often when breaking point is reached there is no-one there to help. Obviously I'm not coping with anything like the situation these poor parents were- but I know that I have given up on trying to get any help from SS at all (it was more stressful that just getting on with it). I can imagine if I was desperate - and actually no longer able to get on with it then actually trying to deal with them would have been enough to push me over the edge.

That's why I wondered whether it was an end of my tether killing rather than a mercy killing. They are more common (eg the mother who jumped off the bridge in Sunderland with her autistic son).

Blu · 27/07/2004 18:30

I wondered if it was what you have identified as an 'end of tether' killing too, and that the mother had made the 999 call. I sympathise with all my heart with parents who feel it is part of their parenting duty to act out of mercy for their children - but criminal negligence on behalf of the state if there is not the support to protect children and their parents from reaching the end of their tether if that would not be their free choice.

Jimjams · 27/07/2004 18:55

It's so difficult to access help even when you are feeling relatively on top of things and haven't got that many problems. To try and do it when your child has a terminal illness must be horrendous. Even the DLA forms you have to fill in remind you that your child is going to die (as they have the special ones for terminal illness) and then to do the constant day in nagging of people to do their job- I'm not surprised it becomes too much sometimes. I know that in my encounter with SS I was passed around from dept to dept and was told that I would have to chase up so and so (why couldn't the bloody SW I was talking to do that- she was busy telling me how difficult her week had been as she had to send out 120 (indetical) letters- well what a tragedy). I was able to give up and remain sane- they'll contact me one day- but if I had been in the situation this father must have been in I don't know that I could have. I found dealing with them absolutely energy sapping, I can't begin to imagine what it would be like having to deal with them on top of having to deal with an awful condition such as Hunter's. Very sad, as the father has to live with what he has done now for the rest of his life.

SofiaAmes · 27/07/2004 21:57

I just can't imagine how terrible it must have been for those poor parents. I don't think it matters whether it was an end of my tether or mercy killing. Either way, those poor parents deserve all our sympathy and support. And how dare they keep him in custody. Do they really think that he's going to run away. To where? The only thing I can think of is that they are keeping him in for his own safety (to keep him from killing himself) because I can't believe that our society would be so cruel as to keep him in for any other reason. So he's a risk of going to kill all his other suffering sons with Turner symptoms!. (They let criminals out on bail for serious aggrevated assault on a complete stranger for money.)

Janh · 27/07/2004 22:40

I thought that too, Sofia. The radio news report I heard mentioned that all his family were in court (well, father, sister and somebody else) and went on to say "there was no application for bail", which implied that they agreed with him being held, but surely as you say they want him to be safe.

But who knows...poor poor man.

sobernow · 27/07/2004 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tigermoth · 28/07/2004 08:45

It makes me wonder if a case like this should ever come to court. However, the 999 call and the non request for bail sounds like there is more to this story than we know. Whatever, I Hope the judge is compassionate and considers the tragic individual circumstances.

lisalisa · 28/07/2004 12:04

Message withdrawn

Jimjams · 28/07/2004 12:47

it doesn't make it right, but it can make it understandable.

I think caring is often much harder if you are not the principal carer - I know dh finds looking after ds1 for a day much harder than I do, as he doesn't know the ins and outs and doesn't understand what he's saying or why he's screaming. And he looks after him a lot compared to many dads.

If I have time later I will try and drag out the earlier thread in SN about a similar case in the States. I think we all find these cases tragic, but can understand how it happens unfortunately.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page