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News

Dawkins to convert to Christianity

30 replies

UnquietDad · 01/04/2007 10:54

++++Reuters 00:45
reported by Lotte Nensason

Academic and atheist Professor Richard Dawkins is to renounce his sceptical stance on the existence of God and will convert to Christianity, he has announced today.

Probably the world's most famous atheist, the author of the bestselling The God Delusion made the startling announcement to the press after cutting short the latest leg of his book-signing tour in Narr, Nebraska. His publishers are said to be "dismayed" by the news.

Richard Dawkins, 66, is also the author of The Selfish Gene and The Blind Watchmaker, and has long been a champion of evolution and Darwinism over faith.

"I am today making an assertion which will change my life," Professor Dawkins announced to the assembled journalists. "For too long, I have wrestled with the academic and sceptical justification for atheism, when all along the answer to the mysteries of the Universe was staring me in the face. I now realise I simply have to let Jesus into my life. It's simply the will of God."

Leading atheists and humanists were quick to express their dismay. Dr Avril Poisson, Chair of the European Atheists' Association, at whose annual conference Dawkins has spoken several times, said, "We are very disappointed in Richard and hope he will reconsider. This is unbelievable news." Similarly shocked was Professor Uwe Beynhadt, Professor Emeritus in Biology at the University of Oslo (and also coordinator of the Freely Operating Orators and Lecturers in Evolutionary Darwinism), who declared, "This is a dark day for science."

Famous since coming to prominence with his book The Blind Watchmaker - which postulated the non-existence of a creator as a scientific standpoint - Professor Dawkins has been a champion and figurehead for atheists and agnostics throughout the world.

On the subject of his new conversion, Professor Dawkins would not be drawn much further, although he did state that he "fully intended" to attend church this morning and to join in the hymns "with gusto". When asked if he intended to be baptised, Professor Dawkins confirmed that this was something he was "looking into".

Oswald Kleinmeister, pastor of the Protestant Church in Narr, received the news that a new convert would be attending with "great pleasure." He added, "It's always good to receive new members into the family of Jesus, especially when those who have strayed and erred so far from the path of righteousness in the past. I hope the Professor will be very happy now he is on the path set down by God."

Lalla Ward, Professor Dawkins's wife, was this morning unavailable for comment, although it is believed that she is in Paris with an "old friend".

OP posts:
PeachyClair · 01/04/2007 10:58

Bizarre.

Noy sure its a dark day- for all he espoused an alternative to blindly following a faith, he wasnt what you wouldncall a [articularly tolerant person. There needs to be a middle road demondtrated not just a black and white polarisation. Ie you can be nice and still not be religious (you can, you know!)- or you can have faith in Jesus and recognise that not everything that has happened in Christianity since has been what was intended (my satnce).

Will follow this with intrigue.

fuzzywuzzy · 01/04/2007 11:01

this has so got tp be an april fools

UnquietDad · 01/04/2007 11:01

Anyone else want to comment?
I think we're due to hear more on this at... ooh, about midday...

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paulaplumpbottom · 01/04/2007 11:01

LOL

paulaplumpbottom · 01/04/2007 11:01

Thats the best one I've heard all mornin

PeachyClair · 01/04/2007 11:03

OH FGS

Peachy had again

oh well

#PMSL

And I even warned Dh before he went to work last night

UnquietDad · 01/04/2007 11:05

Smile Smile Smile

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UnquietDad · 01/04/2007 11:06

I carefully arranged the first letters of each paragraph, folks... and look at the name I gave the leading atheist, and the organisation the Professor Emeritus belongs to... and his name!

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WanderingTrolley · 01/04/2007 11:07

I particularly enjoyed Professor Uwe Beynhadt, coordinator of F.O.O.L.E.D.

And Dr Avril Poisson.

hunkermunker · 01/04/2007 11:07

Oh, you genius - marvellous! Will get DH with it

Thinkstoomuch · 01/04/2007 11:09

Had me going for a moment.

fuzzywuzzy · 01/04/2007 11:09

wow uqd that is really funny (re-reading it), I did think doctor april fish was rather a strange name but guess it's no stranger than the emiritus we been had.....lol

Blu · 01/04/2007 11:11

Got DP with it. For a moment, anyway.

I liked 'with an old friend'. LOL.

paulaplumpbottom · 01/04/2007 11:14

Managed to fool my next door neightbor who stopped in for a cup. He is a huge Dawkins fan. The momentary look on his face was priceless. Thanks UQD

shonaspurtle · 01/04/2007 11:14

Arf! Just showed this to dh and had to interrupt him mid rant to tell him to read the first letter of each paragraph. Stitched up like a kipper

CadburyCremeSquonk · 01/04/2007 11:14

I thought "hmm, I'll read that..." decided to play the joke on dp he said "f*ck off it's an April fool"

UnquietDad · 01/04/2007 11:25

Well, I thought someone had to do one... tbh I'd imagined this place would be full of them!

Good one on the Grauniad site about Blair becoming an actor.

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UnquietDad · 01/04/2007 11:26

Oh, and "Narr" is German for "fool", and Lotte Nensason is an anagram of "Total Nonsense"!

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Legacy · 01/04/2007 11:26

Blu - what's with the 'old friend' bit - I don't get it - please explain

UnquietDad · 01/04/2007 11:27

Lalla Ward used to be married to Tom Baker, and it's assumed they "got it together" while filming in Paris in 1979.

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LedodgyCheapEasterEggsAreASin · 01/04/2007 11:30
Grin
UnquietDad · 01/04/2007 11:32

Has nobody done any others then? I thought "students to get walking lessons" might be one, but it seems that's from a couple of days ago.

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LedodgyCheapEasterEggsAreASin · 01/04/2007 11:48

this looks a bit dubious!

puffling · 01/04/2007 11:48

and he's travelled to Missouri to set up home with Ted Haggard and his wife.

LedodgyCheapEasterEggsAreASin · 01/04/2007 11:48

but the date says March 1st!