Ladies and gentlemen, please be advised that persistent bad language will be punished by removal from the movie theater. Last week we had to remove a group of 30 after their refusal to pipe down and moderate their language everytime they saw Gordon Brown on the screen. The Year 1 class from the local Church of England primary school, along with their form teacher, were removed forthwith from the movie theater. Ladies and gentlemen please stop booing, I assure you it was absolutely necessary as the language was of a level unlike anything I have ever heard in my life apart from the time I asked the vicar what he thought about Gordon Brown and his Big Conversation. Let me just say that what he said would make an audience used to the blue language of "adult" comedian, Roy Chubby Brown, blush.
Offensive hand gestures made while watching "Bremain the Horror Show" will be allowed, as it is impractical to have to remove the entire theater audience and as ushers usually participate in these hand gestures. Badges, stickers and signs like the ones containing four letter Anglo Saxon terminology along with words like "Off", "You,""Go" and "Yourself", as distributed by the Head of the Student Council at the local academy primary school on entrance to the movie theater, will be permitted to be displayed as long as they do not obstruct and interfere with the audience's viewing pleasure of the movie "Bremain The Horror Show".
Direct and forthright language aimed at the cast of Establishment reprobates, serial liars, philanderers, expense fiddlers and bullshitters will be permitted. For instance, last week an audience member shouted out a word ending in "lock" to raucous cheers of approval from the rest of the audience when a senior Establishmentarian spoke in the movie "Bremain The Horro Show", but as the first letter of the word began with "p" rather than "b", we did not remove the person as we thought it was "fair comment".
Ladies and gentlemen, we know that "Bremain The Horror Show" is nowhere near as popular as "Brexit The Movie" and that "Bremain The Horror Show" has been rightly panned by every theater critic not on the Establishment payroll, but we would ask you to sit back through the lies and spin and scaremongering that you are probably all used to if you watch BBC Question Time of a Thursday, and enjoy our showing of "Bremain The Horror Show".