HELP how can we make this work !

[Simplelife78]

I live in a small 3 bed house. Currently living here are 3 adults and a 5mth old baby (dd1s baby).
My partner is also moving in soon as it makes sense financially and we can’t move to his.

Upstairs me and partner have biggest room, ds, middle room and dd1 and dad have smallest room. Changing rooms around isn’t an option for many reasons. The rooms themselves work ok but the landing and bathroom seem to be a dumping ground for dirty or clean washing, items no one wants or can find space for and general clutter.

Downstairs, there’s a living room and kitchen/dinner although dining part is just a small breakfast bar.
living room has dgd travel cot in. This is needed due to dickhead dog who has no off switch. It also houses, baby swing, high chair sometimes, 2 large sofas, a bookcase and tv unit. There is a small understairs cupboard that stores ‘stuff.

Kitchen has plenty of cupboards but the breakfast bar tends to be used as the washing sorting station and the downstairs loo for anything without a home.

We are bursting at the seams, and dd1 and dgd will be here for the forseeable as she’s not a priority on housing list.

Cant do anything structural as it’s a housing association property.

Any genius ideas for storage or organisation greatly received.

I think first hang in there....the baby equipment isn't forever.
Some things I do or have considered:

• have laundry bags on hooks on the back of bedroom doors
• v slim shelving units behind doors (width of the door jamb) from Amazon
• keep random stuff in the car boot (camping eqiipment, wellies etc)
• shelving above doors
• beds with built in storage or trays that slide out
• have a shed (or lockable plastic storage unit)
• one in one out policy - new stuff doesn't make it in unless it's replacing something that goes.
• bath panel that has a door so cleaning stuff etc can go under the bath. And hanging storage on the back of the door.

Sounds like the laundry is taking over. Put it in bags instead of baskets and keep them in peoples rooms, hanging on the back of the door for example. Get. Tumble dryer if you don’t have one, as you don’t have space for six people laundry on airers.

small houses with babies in are always cluttered due to the equipment. It will get better in a year.

Ikea is ideal for storage, tall kallax units in the living room to store toys, shoes, baby clothes etc Another one on the landing for washing waiting to be put away or dirty. Shelves above doors. use the space under and on top of kitchen units. Decent loft ladder so you use it. Storage under beds.But mostly, go to Ikea or look on their webpage for ingenious ways to use every inch

Don’t let the partner move in. He might not be bringing “stuff” but there is no space for another adult body there all the time.

What is adult DS doing? When do you expect him to
move out? Are you and he working?

DD needs to get looking for part time work and her childcare costs will be covered from 9mo. Is she getting maintenance?

As for the house , you need to declutter. Books, clothes, collections of random stuff could be cut in half. You could sell stuff on Vinted or donate to charity.

Whose is the dog? Would you consider rehoming? It seems drastic but the situation is dire and a dog that requires protecting the baby sounds like a added stress

I absolutely don’t think now is the time for your partner to move in-you’ve not got the room.

Your daughter and baby need to move out asap as this isn't sustainable. She needs to get a job. Baby into nursery and private rent. Credit to you for helping her out but this needs to short term help.

This sounds really hard, op. You sound like you are doing your best. It won't be forever.

I think you are right to carry on living your lives and not disrupting your son. That will be his safe space.

We have huge plastic storage tub/cupboards outside near the back door to keep mops, dog equipment, buckets, cleaning equipment etc in. Basically anything that could live outside to free up indoor cupboards.but we need to access regularly.

I would get DD to speak to Shelter about what would happen if you kicker her and DGC. I think you need to cruel to be kind here. Do not let DP move in until one of the children has moved out. You do not have space. Decluttering is essential anyway. Good with a impossible situation!

@Wallywobbles she is aware yes although not always as appreciative as she could be.
She is a good mum and has changed a lot since having dgd.
If that were to ever change then I’d have no hesitation in safeguarding dgd and caring for her full time.

@Autumngirl5 thank you so much, I really appreciate that. Just trying to do my best in a difficult time.

Ds does work, as do I. He has no plans to move out at the mo.

I did consider trying to exchange to a larger house but I think in the long run that wouldn’t help as I want dd to move out, not stay with me forever.

Sorry will reply to other questions later. In a rush today

Just to answer a few questions.

We’ve tried every avenue we can think of to get dd moved out. Private rents want a guarantor who earns 3 times the monthly rent, which I don’t. Dd also has bad credit and would be on UC. Basically she’s the least favourable option for a landlord. Can’t say I blame them.

We did speak to Shelter and YMCA before dd had dgd but neither could suggest anything we’d not already tried.

Ive taken all of the storage suggestions and decluttering advice and we had a busy weekend of sorting and tip runs. Dp is going to build me some storage cupboards in the bathroom, we’ve bought some of those vacuum bags to store any out of season clothing in loft and I’m going to
order an ottoman bed for my room too.
Ive got a huge pile of things to go on Vinted and we’ve sorted a better system for laundry. It just needs everyone to use it.

The dog is all of ours but I bought him. Literally got him about a month before dd found out she was pregnant and at that point we didn’t know she’d end up here with the baby. Rehoming him would be an absolutely last resort. We lost our last dog suddenly at 3 years old and it affected ds immensely. I don’t want to take another dog away from him.

Dd1 is seeing the mental health team next week and will be seeing if they can give her any supporting evidence for a move.

Get bed raisers (like for old people) and raise beds, sofas, chairs on them and store more stuff under furniture in boxes.

Store everything from water bottles to stationary to cleaning products to tinned foods in magazine files. Start with ikea tjabba magazine files. It works because they are ridiculously cheap, you can label things easily, and stuff stores vertically even when it shouldn't. You can also cut them down to fit the size shelves you have. Replace with firmer stuff if it works for you and you use it so often you find the tjabba breaks. (I planned to do this but honestly a load of stuff is just staying in them because they are surprisingly sturdy). Any boxes that aren't moved in 6 months/year chuck out the contents

Consider spaces you may not have thought of and search for storage solutions the measurements, eg i found the mini storage trolleys from ikea fit between the bathroom basin and bath which wss previously dead space. Get as much as possible on wheels like the trolley above or flatbed trolleys like this amzn.eu/d/05qkuzPd so they can roll in and out and you can access awkward spaces easily or store stuff behind other stuff easily. This is great for under the stairs.

Consider operating a one thing/ or one weeks worth out/easily accessible with One thing in a more general storage which might be a bit more awkwardto get to (ege behind other stuff(. When you get the thing out of the more general storage thats when you add it to the list to replace. This is really good if you tend to over stock tins, cosmetics, bathroom stuff

If you need to buy storage consider ikeas ivar range. Because you can adapt the heights of stuff so much and its so lightweight you can switch stuff around really easily if you need to change stuff around.

Consider individual door/wardrobe hangibg laundry baskets like this. https://amzn.eu/d/0aqXECLU. Use over door hangers on both sides of the doors, coats on the outside and stuff like this on the inside amzn.eu/d/0apSSAo4

Great suggestions @Gingerbreadlattetoppingsontheside thank you. Looks like a trip to Ikea is needed ☺️

I suspect you are already a bit of a master at this and could teach us all a thing or two.

Brain dump in case it helps. Think high. Use whole height of the room eg shelves above doors, a picture rail height shelf for books and boxes, any shelving units, wardrobes etc go up to the ceiling if possible. IKEA pax is brilliant if space & budget allows. My older teen has all his clothes in a 75cm pax, lots of drawers then hanging space over plus various pull out hooks which takes up half the footprint of his old wardrobe and separate drawers. Or you can stand drawer units inside existing wardrobes. We also use the depth to store our of season clothes behind those use.

Divide the space by timeshare and use all the house to live in through the day. Laundry I'd give everyone a set couple of days per week to do their own but you say you have a system sorted already. Are there any tweaks you can give to the bedrooms especially yours and your son's that make them function better as living spaces in the daytime? Eg add a well positioned TV and V cushions so you can comfortably watch a film from bed. Not to push you out of the living room but to give you space away when you need or want it. Look at space behind doors. You can buy very narrow pull out units about the depth of a tin of beans that can slide in next to a fridge or hide behind a door.

I think you are doing exactly the right thing to remove furniture where possible into storage. Taking out a piece of furniture gives you that space back and that's really precious.

Along the magazine file theme, some of my drawer organisers are literally cut down cereal packets and fruit punnets. They started off temporary but they're perfect and I quite enjoy that they were free. In your ottoman bed you could consider collecting cardboard boxes and cutting down the height if needed to create custom "bins". You don't always need to buy something plastic to do the job.

Shoe & boot boxes are great for under bed/Ottoman storage. Shoe shops (especially independents) are often happy to give them away.

can you share floor plan/photos?

re storage - think about how lonf you plan to store them versus how much it would cost to buy or hire the things again when you need them.

watch a few episodes of Sort your life out with Stacey Solomon.

how much of DS stuff is around the place? I'm afraid I would put a limit on memorabilia or one in one out. Ditto baby stuff.

we decided that the landing was the place for the laundry basket (dirty stuff) and it gets taken down every morning. clean stuff is folded off the clothes horse and out away straight away.

DGD will be too big for the baby swing soon so that's a bonus...

Deep shelves (50-60cm deep) above door frames is a useful storage space. Often wasted space.

If you do this both sides of bedroom doors, you can fit one of those big storage containers inside the bedroom and outside the bedroom on the landing, above the doorway. Useful for storing things like duvets, pillows, Christmas (or Halloween) decs, suitcases, etc.

Talking as someone who move from a home with loads of storage, to one with no garage or loft - the most useful thing you can do is chuck stuff out. We moved 4 years ago. I got rid of tons of stuff and have not once found I have missed anything we got rid of.

Couldn’t your partner rent a small flat on his own and you stay there as and when? Then there’s no more laundry coming into the house?
Could he look after the dog?
This would give you the advantage of a calm space away from the family (sounds like you are doing the vast majority of managing the load).

Agree with others re ruthless declutter. Small laundry bags in each bedroom. How about using a launderette even once a month for towels and bedding?
No more purchases until things have been decluttered.

With the dog - could someone take on the task of a bit more training so he/she will "settle" or go to "place" when told. I would also work on "leave it" and apply that to baby ALL the time. Also its important they have their own space or place to go to which is a bit calmer - maybe a crate although I appreciate if its a big dog it might be more tricky. It won't be long before the baby outgrows the travel cot in the lounge thing.

I might consider some sort of outside shed/storage. I was thinking one near the house used for laundry!! If its near enough it wouldn't be too tricky to get outside electric so dryer and storage of washing could go out with maybe even electric drying rack as we go into winter drying washing will be an issue.

If DS or Partner are handy lots of second hand sheds for the taking. Could also be pram storage.

I would ditto different washing storage in rooms - so back of the door bags - Lifewit Over Door Laundry Basket, Large Collapsible Hanging, Dark Grey | Foldable Hanging Laundry Hamper, Basket Bag for Dirty Clothes Storage Organizer in Bathroom and Bedroom, : Amazon.co.uk: Home & Kitchen so they sit flat to back of door or front of wardrobe door etc. They aren't too expensive either. I would also use colour catcher sheets so all washing into together!

I would make sure there is good storage in all the rooms and making your bed a lift up storage kind might be an option.

The rest of the house I am a great believer in everything having its place which makes for easy tidying and cleaning

Hope the cleaning, food shop and catering roles are shared out so everyone contributing.

I’d go for this option, the temporary accommodation won’t be forever.

Do you have a garden? What about a shed/playroom for dd and dgd or for ds’s collection and he moves to the small room?

You're looking for a magic wand. It doesn't exist.

Ideally someone should move out but moving another person in is madness.

Absolutely no way should OP move into the box room! She is the bill
paying parent and adult.
The daughter sounds
like a nightmare and doesn’t need further indulgence - she
needs to work towards independence. She’s got a
cheek falling back on her mother after getting pregnant without resources. Some people choose to live chaotic lives but that doesn’t mean OP’s living conditions should be downgraded.

If you say you are no longer willing to house your dd and dgd then your DD has got a better chance of getting her own place.

If you have a garden consider a hully pod. Insulated and plugs in like a caravan. Not a room to sleep in but a room to store stuff in or have as a playroom, study, etc.

Do you have any outdoor storage options for the pram? Even a small shed / one of those plastic storage boxes would allow you to get the pram out of the house, and create storage space in the hall.

Also, could you get rid of the high chair and get one of the ones that attaches to a table / your breakfast bar? Less clutter of big stuff like that might help a bit.