Does anyone else struggle to keep up with the house while being present for their kids?

[Autumnmom]

Hi moms!

I’m a mom of a 5-year-old, and I have him about half the time. On my days with him, I want to play, connect, and make dinner, but I also need to keep the house in some order. Laundry piles up, toys end up everywhere, and dishes stack in the kitchen. Every time I start tidying, he wants my attention, and every time I help him, I lose my place. By the end of the day, I’m exhausted, the kitchen is worse than when I started, and I’m going to bed late just to catch up.

I don’t need a perfect home. I’d just like to get the essentials done, enjoy time with my son, and still protect my sleep. I’m not looking to wake up at 5 or stay up until midnight to clean.

So I’d love to hear from other moms:

• How do you keep the house functional on your days with the kids, without it taking over your evenings?
• Did you find games or routines that get your kids helping you, so tidying feels like play?

You only have him 50% of the time
Do your cleaning and housework on the 50% when you don’t. That’s a heck of a lot of time!’
then when with him… just do a lite touch to keep on top of things

Every time I start tidying, he wants my attention, and every time I help him, I lose my place. By the end of the day, I’m exhausted, the kitchen is worse than when I started, and I’m going to bed late just to catch up.

This is one school aged child. Come on OP.
“Not now DS I need to stack the dish washer”

My house is in no way the cleanest, but generally there isn't piles of washing and dishes, and DD is here 100% of the time.
Realistically, cooking dinner takes however long, but it's not constant, and she'll generally sit at the table while I chop, then go over to do something with her, go back over.
Cleaning up the kitchen- put pots in the dishwasher and clean as you go, and then do 15 minutes blitz at the end.
Washing laundry- it's always a job to be done, but we're not stood scrubbing. Put in the washer- leave it and go back to him.
Pull it out and take 10 mins to hang, then go back to him.
When it's dry, bring in and fold. Take it upstairs at bedtime and put away while you're doing it.

The few things that always get done in the house are dishwasher and a load of washing, as they don't need a lot of attention.

If it comes to everything else, then fair enough leave it til he's not there. Or tell him to occupy himself for 30 minutes and you'll come back. You'll appreciate it if he can do that anyway.

How much washing & housework can 1 adult and 0.5 of a 5yo make?!

Sounds like you’re making a meal of it. Just catch up on the nights he’s not there. You could even batch cook so the food is easy. Then it’s just dishwasher on before bed & tidy the toys away. Simple.

What? Say again? Tidy up together, wash the dishes together etc. 1 child 50% of the time. Come on🙄

Play is not just about toys. At that age helping mum with the household tasks is also play.

It's also great practice for becoming a decent spouse.

This just sounds like market research for some kind of app, probably.

Just imagine how shite that app would be on the basis of how they go about market research?!

You sound as if you have some kind of house-cleanliness OCD, OP. Seek professional help.

Or try to research your housework app elsewhere.

I have 3 kids 100% of the time. Learn to say no.

I think, from reading between the lines, that this is about mum guilt rather than genuinely not being able to tidy the house when her son is around.

As others have said, you can offer to involve him in the jobs. And if he doesn’t want to, then he can find something to do that’s independent play.

The way I think of it is that you’re doing them a big favour by allowing them the time to be bored and figure out what to do about it. You’re not meant to be there for permanent entertainment. Imagine having a husband like that - nope! Hopefully that helps to ease your mum guilt. As long as you haven’t ignored him for the whole morning then you’re doing a great job

Mine always joined in, as much as they were capable of it. It teaches them we all live here so we must all keep it nice. Even a very young toddler can use a damp cloth to dust a skirting board, and feel proud afterwards!

I’m a single mam of 2, 7 and 2 years old.

i get my housework including washing done whilst their at school and nursery.

dishes I always clean up straight after we’ve finished eating.
DD who is 2 loves to join in and help with them. Otherwise I say give me 5 minutes please until I’ve finished these.

This doesn't seem real. How messy/dirty can the house be getting with only 2 people there? Use the time when he's not there to sort out the bigger stuff. When he's there, he can help while you chat.
And put your phone away, you probably lose more time to that than you think.