My house is making me depressed

[MagicThanks]

I just feel so overwhelmed. DH and I both work full time with 2 DC in primary school and a dog.
I like I’ve just spent 4 hours of Saturday morning tidying and cleaning and the house still looks like shit.
I want to throw everything away and start again.
Everything needs painting, there are cracks in the walls I don’t even know how to fix, and even the basic housework is just so constant it never ever feels done.
I literally just sat and burst into tears.

Don’t know why I’m posting really. Advice? Solidarity?

no advice really but lots of sympathy - I had a very similar feeling of despair night. Our house is also a mess.

Are you able to find a cleaner? It makes a massive difference to day to day cleaning. £20-25 an hour, 2-3 a week or fortnight would help you OP

I felt like this earlier in the year. I tackled one room at a time. List what needs doing, what jobs can you do yourself (you tube is your friend). Start with the small jobs and the satisfaction you get from completing it and how good it looks. Small steps, part of a bigger plan.

Making paint work doesn’t need to be expensive, just patience and some basic tools.

There’s no rush, you have your home thats the main thing.

Decluttering helped ALOT with keeping on top of housework as it automatically makes everywhere look tidier. Good luck and I agee it seems relentless but once it starts looking better , you’ll feel better too .

Thanks so much everyone.
It just feels so much. Like even the furniture has marks on it so when I wipe it down it looks just as dirty as before I started. We’ve still got snags from building work that’ll never get fixed, we need to sort it ourselves.
I agree the answer is two fold - a proper plan, one room at a time. Then a cleaner to help so it doesn’t just all go to shit again. The kids need to pitch in more too - just keeping their rooms tidy would help.

What sort of house do you live in? I really struggled when I lived in a Victorian terrace. I had to hoover the window condensation every morning, it never felt properly clean and airy. Moved to a 10 year old very dull but modern box and it’s a doddle to keep it clean and tidy. Trick is not to have too much furniture or Knick knacks and - as much as I hate the phrase - ‘ruthlessly declutter’.

We are over run with stuff I’ve done a charity shop run this morning!
on here for solidarity! I’m going thru room by room to try to declutter before Christmas because we have so much stuff it’s mental!

my kids are a bit older now too and so not so many “big” toys but we need to organise what we’ve got really.

This is such a cliche that I can’t blame you for groaning, but starting with decluttering really does make a big difference. For example if you’re going to paint a room or skirting boards, you first go through the contents of that room.

We’ve done it a few times with the children as they’ve grown and it does make things much easier.

I follow someone on Insta who does a job every day; it really does get results (obviously you won’t be doing one a day while working FT, but my point stands).

💐

Just adding my sympathies and understanding. I burst into tears last weekend because I was so overwhelmed with STUFF everywhere. Cleared the counters and took obviously broken bits and bibs to the tip.
still desperately need to declutter properly but at least I can see some flat surfaces!
I haven't found a cleaner yet who properly cleans - the ones I've had have all been a bit slipshod, which I can do myself!!!
actually popped on to Mumsnet to gain some inspiration from those who are decluttering!!!

Thanks again everyone for being so nice!
my house is a 1920s semi with 2 doubles and a single and then a big bedroom and bathroom in what was the loft.
I love decluttering and do it regularly but there always feels like more to do. It’s the kids I think - they have too much stuff they don’t want to part with. I’ll go again in October half term. However, I think it’s not the tidying as much as the cleaning - and it won’t feel clean without some repairs and some re-painting. We just need a plan now.

Same. Mine is such a mess and is really getting to me. It's too small and has very little storage, no garage or loft to remove seasonal / DIY stuff.

I'd really love a few weeks off work to get it straight again.

I know what you mean @MagicThanks. My house is still fairly tatty but finally getting new flooring after many years has made such a difference.

I have the good old Ikea Ektorp sofas as I can just chuck the covers in the wash. I couldn’t stand it otherwise. (I’d like to blame the DCs and pets but in fact I’m really clumsy and messy!)

Each person has a washing basket, their stuff is put into it, then dumped in their room. Close door. Repeat. Decorating, take one area at a time, start with the room you spend the most time in, then work.out from there.

Solidarity, OP! I live alone, but work FT and have pets. The cleaning used to get on top of me so much that I gave in, cut as many costs as I could, and got a cleaner to come once a week.

The DIY is on-going, and the house is very much a work in progress. It gets me down sometimes, because I'd like a lovely home that didn't need anything doing to it, but I have limited time and energy when I come home from work, and money ends up being spent on other things, like bills, food and my car! As for the cracks in the walls, I try not to look up very often, as mine are in the corners of some rooms.

Have you tried The Organised Method? Used to be called The Organised Mum Method? https://share.google/CMA8AWbEmxFhYpUmh
I work FT term time too so tend to just do Level ones (make beds, 10 mins on laundry, 5 min hoovering, 5 min bathroom daily) and then a kitchen tidy/quick house tidy every evening in the week and then a 1 - 2 hour ‘reset’ at the weekend. In the holidays, declutters and deeper cleans. It took about three weeks to start seeing a real difference when I started a few years ago. There are guided cleans too which help me a lot to keep on track.

It won’t help with repairs but will help with tidying and cleaning. Inc you feel like tgat is mostly under control, then you can do the repairs gradually. All the best.

Is your marked furniture wood?
Every side table in my house had horrible white rings where moisture had got in. Got some brilliant stuff and it has bought them right up. A little wood oil polish afterwards and they look great again.

I agree with previous poster. Sofas with removable covers are fantastic - bung them in the wash and instant refresh.

Kids need to start taking responsibility for their stuff. If they want to keep a lot of it, it should be in their rooms or in specific storage places for them.

But good luck, you deserve a nice home to enjoy and relax.

Could it work to have a handyman for a day? Could they fill cracks, sort out the work needed so that you can then touch up paint?

Generally, I find doing a little often helps rather than turning everything into a major task. One shelf, skirting board or whatever at a time. It doesn't have to be having days to do a whole room as it's probably never going to happen.

Get the kids pulling their weight, it will be good for them in the future if they learn to keep their rooms tidy, sort their washing etc.

I'm also a fan of throws if you've got dodgy furniture!

Good luck, it won't always feel like this...

I told my daughter if you keeping adding something to your room there are 365 days in the year and the room will overflow. So if she wants something new she has to throw something else out to make space.
Do something small every week. This week I built some cheap bedside tables of which I don’t screw the legs on, for storage inside DD wardrobe. It helps her see things clearly and helps me and her put things away.
Last week I put some hooks in the kitchen for a few items that kept getting shoved around.
Another week I washed a wall which was full of fingerprints.
A good cleaner is a godsend. I have learnt so much from mine and it gives me time to do other things like clean the washing machine or dishwasher etc.

No advice but I feel the same. Never feel like I'm anywhere near on top of the house, it is depressing