Can anyone think of some good (maybe amusing) wording for a sign for my toilet ?

[Wheelybug]

Having just spent £1000 fixing my downstairs toilet due to someone having put a tampon down it (its a grrr.... saniflo) we need to make it crystal clear that such items should not be put down it ....

Any ideas ?

please think flush at will?
otherwise I'll send YOU the bill

There is a bin behind the door
for that sort of thing to store

don't know where the question mark came from

There was an electronic loo
That ate only piddle and poo
Tampons and towels
Blocked up its bowels
And the damage cost a grand to undo.

Please do not put anything except poo, wee and loo roll down this loo or it may explode all over you

This is a saniflo toilet. Please do not put anything down here that cannot be pulped to half the size of a gnats testicle.

Oooh i like Ells

Who put the tampon down?

We had one of these in our old house. Visitors thought the signs applied to everyone except them, or said stupid things like 'it was only one cotton bud, I didn't think it would matter'.

We became quite expert at de-clogging the thing ourselves.....nice job!

He had to resort to using an old umbrella once - poke poke

I'm a little toilet with narrow pipes
I can't deal with baby wipes
When I see the san-pro hear me yell
'Use the bin, or go to hell!'

(After the manner of 'I'm a little teapot, short and stout')

Thanks all - I had to dash out so have only just got back to this.

The offending item somehow managed to get through the saniflo chomping thing and into the outflow pipe whereupon it then blocked the tube, burning out the machine thus needing a new macerator (tbh it was quite old apparently, we didn't fit it) and then a new loo because macerators have changed and then they had to take up my (sanded and polised) floorboards (sob) and then make a whole in my newly decorated hall wall (sob sob) and then pull out my new kitchen units (lies on floor kicking and wailing).

Anyway, despite a (admittedly faded) sticker on the loo someone still put one down there. To be fair, if you don't know its a saniflo or have any experience of them I suppose its an easy mistake to make (grrrrr).

Love the poems. Part of me feels bad making a big thing about it as it was presumably one of my chums and they are going to feel guilty as hell if they realise....

??

The three P's - Only pee, poo and paper should be flushed down this loo!

Love that sheep picture btw ND!

ooh perfect NorksDrift ! Thank you. I did try and google signs but got nowhere !

On the door - "This Way To The Upstairs Loo"??

OOh no CM - now we've got the blardy thing working again it means I dn't have to clean the upstairs bathroom when everyone comes round.

i love Ellbells post at 12:08:59