Children leaving a trail of destruction!

[TooStressyForMyOwnGood]

Hi all,

What am I doing wrong?! Two DC age 5 and 3. Whatever I do the house seems to be drawn to chaos. I am naturally disorganised and this doesn't help. The kids seem to get everything out and my 3 year old in particular empties drawers in her room etc when trying to get dressed.

As fast as I tidy one room they are ransacking another! I do try to get them involved and DD1 can help tidy but DD2 'helps' by getting more things out. I try to tidy as I go along but they undo it all.

What am I doing wrong please?! Do I just need to I still more disclipline? Or is this life with DC?

Threenagers!

What do you do when they make mess? Here normal toys used to get tidied away at communal "tidy up time" (with music! ) as part of bedtime, but actual created mess would be expected to be tidied back up by them. Not perfectly, obvs, but if they won't do it when asked, next time they want eg TV they get "yes you may, after you have put the things back into the drawer." You don't need to be really strict and shouty, but maybe expect a bit more of them and help them understand the consequence of their actions?
We did tidy up time from age 1 - they did at nursery. It was mainly me doing it for years tbh but if nothing else they learned that there is no putting-away fairy.

Thanks, I do tidy up time but am very half hearted about it. Will start doing it more with them. Might work with the TV bribe :)

Since my eldest was 18 months I've got her involved in tidying before we go out and bedtime. She's now 2 and I'll encourage her and praIse her for even getting some done. I tell her we can't go to the park until we've tidied and keep to that until she joins in with me. It's easier to do it myself but I know by getting her to help now then she'll be a big help when she's older. So, sorry for the ramble but think you need to be consistent and expect them to help as well as modelling good tidying up to them!

Yes I think I am trying to model the tidying but am not at all consistent with getting them to help. I told them this morning that we would be doing a quick tidy up before breakfast and they cried . Think they will take a bit of time to get used to this!

It's just part of having young DC I'm afraid

My three year old is like a bloody tornado sometimes I think she follows me on purpose making her mess

I find she helps to tidy up better when given individual jobs e.g. put away the dollies

On the bright side my 7+8 year olds can now tidy fairly well after the initial foot stamping

Your house will never be spotless while you have young children. We have a rule where your not allowed to get something else out until the first thing you are using is put away. Even with the big things tidied as we go we still end up with random bits of crap that accumulate across the house and gradually make the house look a state. I tidy every night when Dd goes to bed and by lunchtime it looks like I haven't bothered. Drives me mad.

As a Mum of older children I used to visit friends who had this problem. The idea that you cannot play with toy B until toy A is put away is a good idea to enforce. Also no treats unless toys are out away, eg park, visit grandma etc. At night no bath and stories until toys are put away. We had a big toy cupboard and with only one toy out (could be Lego, playmobil or other multipart toy) it didn't take that long.

If children cry to begin with, so be it. They will never do anything if they are never allowed to cry. Luckily our house was big enough for me to have the cupboard in the end of the kitchen but I think if they have their own zone it helps. We rarely had toys in bedrooms - sleeping only there. We had a few problems with putting toys away but it was never a big deal. With a few rules that you stick to, it will get better.

So no magic, no effort answers then? . Thanks all, I obviously need to be stricter. I will plough through the crying!

I'm my own worst enemy in this though. I am not a fan of one toy at a time, I love the creativity of mixing them up and we had lots of generic stuff like blocks, deliberately so they could be anything in different games. I basically gave up on toy mess during the day but we were pretty consistent with clearing the toys completely at bedtime. Now they're older we've lapsed, but general clutter is the problem rather than anyone creating chaos.

Have a new regime, keep it simple and absolutely consistent. The key to limiting battles IME is a routine. My kids know they don't get TV before lunch so there is no battle about it. Spellings and music practice just didn't happen when I was trying to squeeze the time in for it. DC whinged and argued and felt nagged. But since we carved out a regular slot for both, it's just part of the routine and not a flashpoint. So my advice would be put it in a routine but a minimal one - once a day, not every time you leave the house.

Will aim for a better routine, thanks!