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Housekeeping

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Original poster

Stealing from money box

29 replies

jugglingmonkey · 08/02/2015 19:54

We have been monitoring DS's money box since December. We were going to bank the contents for him - should have been close to £100, but it was nearer £55, so we've been keeping an eye on it.

We have deliberately not put anything else in since December (and of course never take any out), but today it was down to £35.

In short, someone is stealing from the money box. The only people other access to the house are my mum, and our long standing cleaner.

We only put £1/£2 coins in, so very little room for error with regard to counting the contents.

What would you do? Confront cleaner or just terminate services? For anyone wondering, there's no way this is my mum!

OP posts:
PurpleStripedSock · 08/02/2015 19:57

How old is DS?

BCBG · 08/02/2015 20:00

Would put in hidden camera - very easy to do. This is theft, pure and simple and if she is stealing from you she could steal from anyone. Sorry

Floggingmolly · 08/02/2015 20:00

Maybe he's been spending it himself??

Original poster
jugglingmonkey · 08/02/2015 20:02

Oh, DS is 1, not him! It's an ornamental money box, kept on shelves in the living room.

Camera is a good idea. I feel like I need to confront her (I like her, and want to trust her), so I feel like I need hard evidence before I can discuss it.

OP posts:
PurpleStripedSock · 08/02/2015 20:05

I would need to confront and ask for the money back/withhold the amount from her wages. I'd need to be 100% certain it was her though.

Nasty situation and you wonder what other 'loose change' or unattended money she's picked up while working for you.

Floggingmolly · 08/02/2015 20:07

Ah! It's not your dh, is it? Not actually stealing it, obviously... But it's the sort of thing I'd use as a source of "instant" cash, so to speak, if I need some change unexpectedly.

I'd fully intend to get to the cash machine later to replace it, and then forget.

Original poster
jugglingmonkey · 08/02/2015 20:10

Not DH nope, we've both been monitoring it as I told him as soon as I noticed a problem... He's as shocked/upset as me!

Would any of you be able to keep the cleaner? If she apologised/repaid money?

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 08/02/2015 20:12

No. She has access to your house, and you don't trust her.

Motherinlawsdung · 08/02/2015 20:13

If it is the cleaner there is no way that she could be trusted again.
Have you checked all your jewellery and other valuables?

Original poster
jugglingmonkey · 08/02/2015 20:15

I think that's how I feel. In which case, couldn't I just terminate, no explanation? Horrible situation!

OP posts:
Original poster
jugglingmonkey · 08/02/2015 20:16

Yep, nothing else missing. Just £70 over the last 12 months.

OP posts:
PigletJohn · 08/02/2015 20:18

have you got a PC in the room?

I have a webcam attached to mine with a USB (I actually use it to watch the side access). It has a motion detector and starts recording when anything happens in its field of view. The image need not be displayed on the screen so there is no clue what it's doing.

A cleaner might notice it though.

homeaway · 08/02/2015 20:22

Add a couple of more pounds to it and count it out before she comes and then count it after she has been , then you will know for sure . It is a sad situation op, and I really feel for you .

Original poster
jugglingmonkey · 08/02/2015 20:22

Nope, and to be honest I think she'd notice a computer/camera set up. It'd need to be properly hidden.

The worst thing is that she's often in the house when my mum is here taking care of DS while I'm at work. Talk about brazen...!

OP posts:
Original poster
jugglingmonkey · 08/02/2015 20:24

That's kind of what we've done home away. Counted it in November, December, and today. Decreases every time.

OP posts:
LovesBooks · 08/02/2015 20:29

Make sure you are certain it's her and try and catch her in the act or film her. I would be very tempted to call the police if she was stealing. To steal from a one year old is awful!

PurpleStripedSock · 08/02/2015 23:14

No way would I have her back once guilt was proven. I would personally still need to confront her over it (but that's just me).

solitarywalker · 09/02/2015 11:41

Definitely, definitely get evidence before you make any accusations.

It should be easy - you can set up a camera, as others have said, and this is vital in terms of confronting whoever is doing it with evidence. But you can also keep an eye on the money by counting before and after visitors to the house come and leave.

I would definitely fire your cleaner if she is the culprit, but I would think carefully before involving the police. Of course what she's done is really, really wrong, but you never know the circumstances someone is in. To give someone a criminal record that could affect their ability to find further work could have huge consequences. I am not saying 'don't do it', but rather 'think carefully whether being caught this time is enough to set her on the right track in future'.

gamerchick · 09/02/2015 11:44

If you want to catch her out for the purpose of going to the police you can set a nannycam up. You can get really little ones you can hide in teddys etc.

Original poster
jugglingmonkey · 10/02/2015 07:45

Think I'm just going to tell her no more thanks. Don't want to have to prove it, and I don't intend on telling the police. My mum uses her too and will also be firing her, so hopefully she'll see it as a lucky escape that we're not going to the police and won't do it again.

OP posts:
shovetheholly · 10/02/2015 08:42

juggling - I completely understand why you wouldn't want the hassle! However, a friend of mine in a similar situation just found out that it was actually a relation taking the money. They are pretty close, and the relative hadn't realised that the fund was actually for the DC - she'd just seen it as a couple of quid for the bus now and then, in recompense for free childcare! It was no biggie for them because there is a lot of give and take in their relationship, but it would have been unfair in the circumstances for the cleaner to lose out because of a misunderstanding.

gamerchick · 10/02/2015 08:59

So put in front of the firing squad without being convicted first?

Sounds to me you just want an excuse to get rid of her. I hope she's cash in hand or she may have rights.

PurpleStripedSock · 10/02/2015 09:25

I would have seriously wanted to make sure someone was in the wrong before firing them. It will be very awkward if your mum or partner continue to 'borrow' from the money box once she is gone.

In all probability it is her but you will never really know now.

Original poster
jugglingmonkey · 10/02/2015 13:38

I'm 100% sure. My mum was aware since Dec that we knew money was going missing, so if it was her, and she's continued to do so it'd be very stupid. Add to that the fact that she idolises DS and has no need to borrow a few quid, I'm sure it's not her. DH also well aware and it definitely isn't him.

Interesting opinions here though that I really need proof before firing. Surely the fact that I can't trust her is reason enough?

OP posts:
DarylDixonsDarlin · 10/02/2015 13:44

I wouldn't fire her without letting her know why, as she will just think she got away with it, surely? But agree you need absolute proof before confronting her.