I think I need a cleaner. Where do I start?

[nomoreminibreaks]

I've just returned to work from maternity leave and think I need some help! DS1 is 3 and DS2 is almost 1 and walking and the house is a tip. I don't seem to have a spare second, DS2 is awake every hour in the night so I'm just about staying on top of the essentials. The only help I can think of is a cleaner but DH thinks only millionaires have them and thinks it's quite ostentatious having one. I've said having one might keep me sane so I'll be paying for it, but can't really just ask on Facebook for recommendations with DH's views! So how do I go about finding a good one and what can I expect? Thanks!

Ask around your friends, put a card in your local post office or shop & ask the staff there they often know people.

Get them round for a chat & make sure you feel comfortable with them.
Ask for refs .

Oh & suss out the going rate in the area !

Posting on relationships could give you another angle . Does 'dh' think it's a problem or do you have radically different standards at home and he not think a problem? Who does housework and how do you generally share jobs? Paying for a cleaner from anything but a shared pot makes it seems like it's your job, not a shared one, and may reinforce existing inequity. Good luck.

Does DH outsource shopping (on-line), car-cleaning (car wash), rubbish disposal (dustbinmen), diy (calling a plumber/builder etc), fixing the car (going to a garage?

In the 1950s all these were "male" jobs whilst the woman stayed at home and did the cleaning and childcare.

Lots of male jobs are now outsourced because working outside the home men had control of the money and chose to spend it on outsourcing such things instead of spending all of Saturday with the guts of a car engine over the garage, or Sunday morning cleaning the car. Women now have equal status to a man and have an equal say over what can be outsourced, if you both work outside the home the cleaning and childcare is a joint responsibility, if you do the lion's share of childcare DH should do the lions share of the cleaning, or it should be outsourced and funded jointly.

Lots of ordinary working people have a cleaner.