when do mums have time for housework!???

[meepsmum]

i have 6mo DD...i realised i have managed to cleanbathroom 3x since having a baby. Hoovered about 3x and errr thats it. (DH does all the rest after work or when i am feeding bubba)
I feel awful and slovenly. But there is literally no time in the day to clean...baby only really naps on me and for half an hour at a time.
I am beginning to feel incompetent.
Wheb on earth am i going to get things done????
Does it get better...do babies start entertaoning themselves so i can at least whip round quickly??
My bedroom.is hovel....

Why do you feel bad? you are doing a great job looking after your baby. You have a great DH who helps out, its all good. It really doesn't matter if the house isn't spotless, far more important that you and baby are looked after first. Soon she will nap more and you will get more done but really, don't fret about it.

I'm wondering this, I'm still pregnant so at least I have time to keep the house nice at present. I can't fool myself that I married a modern/equal opportunities type bloke, I didn't, he doesn't expect to have to spend his 'leisure time' cleaning so never does, just expects the same invisible cleaning force that was in his home growing up to have followed him here...

That said, I'm the one that wants a clean, tidy house all the time, he would happily live in a cave.

If you say your DH does all the rest then how come the bedroom is a hovel? Don't say he does mancleaning?

Sorry really not helpful, should I come back in a few months when I am living on several metres of filth? :(

well yes...DH does do the rest but as you put it...mancleaning!! clutter and dust doesnt seem to bother him, bless him.
I know it shouldnt worry but just beginning to feel incompetent and dont want to put on DH too much as he works long hours.
perhaps i have unrealistic expectations as to what i can achieve.
I guess bubba wont b bubba forever...
In full admiration of anyone who cleans and raises babies too!!!
Thank u for your encouragement tho... x

Have you tried a sling?

Can you really not put your baby down? Are you holding her all the time? Can you sit her in a bouncy chair? Genuine question, not being sarky.

I am not saying you 'should' be doing housework but I found time for important things like mumsnetting, reading, eating, chatting with friends etc etc. from the day we got home from hospital, perhaps I was just lucky that I had a baby that I could put in a bouncy chair or on a rug and leave him to it .

First babies are all consuming but things get easier. I remember thinking when DD was born how I couldn't imagine how anyone got through the day on their own. When DC3 was born I wondered what I did all day with just one child.

Enjoy your first born and the housework can wait.

If you work really hard and, you know, apply yourself, just concentrate on it until you can manage just a bit each day .... you can force yourself to simply not notice dust/clutter/general household detritus and crap

It works well for me

I really wouldn't worry too much about housewoqrk - just concentrate on the important job if being a mum!

That said, can't your DH entertain DD for 30 mins or so on weekend mornings while you get a couple if jobs done? He needs to bond with baby too!

And do little bits as you go along - clean the bath/shower while you're showering, put things away when you've finished with them, hang up clothes while singing
Nursery rhymes etc.

You'll gradually get into a routine that suits your family and lifestyle, don't fret too much about it yet.

And yes, try a sling.

Your BABY at 6 months sounds pretty normal.

I think how much housework you get done depends on how your feeding. The nature/temperament of the baby & the help around you.

Its one of those things, some people aren't stressed by a bit of mess but others are. Its a very individual thing.

Often with your first dc, you don't have to think about anything other then the baby but if you have older dc you have to cook, do the washing etc. By dc5, i wouldn't always be able to see to him straight away so he cried. Whereas dc1 was never, ever left to cry.

Each to their own!

When my baby was that age he would be put in his swing, that would give me enough time to tidy living-room, upstairs I would position him in the bed so he could see me and that way I could sort washing etc. Now he's 13 months and tends to follow me around undoing all my tidying

It does get easier! At 6 months my dd would only nap on me for half and hour at a time, meaning nothing would get done until dh got home.
However, at about 8 months we got her to nap in her buggy in the hall, still only for half an hour, 45 minutes if we were lucky! But this did free me up to have a quick tidy up.
She's now 16 months and has a good 2 and a half hour nap in her cot, although the house still isn't spotless, I have to time to clean it if I want.

When they are old enough to use a duster

If you want to do any then just bring baby with you.

Ie: on mat/ bouncey chair/ high chair/ sling

I used to sit them in the kitchen with wooden spoons/ sieve etc

I would did the flylady tasks for the day during naps at 6 months and would do a speedy tidy each evening whilst DH bathed DS (then he'd wash up whilst I fed DS). And if I wasn't sure what to do at any point during the day I'd grab a duster or the vacuum cleaner and do a "cleaning song and dance" which DS finds hilarious although I have to stop him eating the vacuum cleaner.

Oh and I started using Ikea bags for washing so I can move a full load of washing up or downstairs one-handed whilst carrying DS. So I bring a smelly load down every morning, put it in the machine after breakfast, put it out to dry after lunch, fold it at dinnertime, away during bathtime tidy.

These days, generally with a baby on my back! Not entirely sure how people manage without slings. Sometimes they'll nap simultaneously (twins) long enough for a quick tidy round and getting dinner on.
Slow cookers are fab, ditto meals that can be prepared in fits & starts or made early in day and reheated later.
You won't get the baby days back though so don't feel bad about sitting down snuggling, sod the house

You have my sympathy, OP - a very young child is a bit of a ball and chain as far as regaining your independence is concerned, even in dealing with mundane chores. You have to find a way, but please do be careful. I tried to unload the washing machine once, with newborn in a sling on my front, and learnt the hard way not to do that; as I was dragging out the damp laundry, the hard plastic magnetic eco-washing ball that I put in there, flew out as I yanked the stuff out and whacked his poor little head hard...Owww....guilt trip or what - luckily he was OK but it could have turned out otherwise and much worse. (I can think of other stories where I also overloaded his buggy with heavy shopping and that tipped it over - who hasn't done that?? - our poor little kids..)

thanks everyone for helpful hints and thoughts. i know its silly but is lovely not to feel alone in my worries. will try to use sling and good ikea bag tip too.
you are all lovely!! x

You need this ...

what mothers do book - should be handed out in the maternity ward IMHO!

And this!

“Cleaning and scrubbing can wait for tomorrow,
For babies grow up, I’ve learned, to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.”
Author Unknown

thanks blondie will have a look :-)