Oh dear God my house!

[blinkinflip]

It's bursting at the seams and I am in chaos! Have been clearing out a house ready for sale and have taken loads of stuff to mine (small 2 bed flat). Also have about 40 boxes of stuff still to unpack from moving into here from another flat about a year ago I haven't been to bed for months - am sleeping on the couch - as the bed is covered in boxes of stuff. In the middle of my living room just now is a huge box of bedding from the clear out place - nowhere else to put it.

Am trying to get all the paperwork sorted for house sale (hopefully complete next week), work full time, get DD to various parties and activities, keep on top of school stuff etc. Still need to get to the other place (about an hour away) and clear out a load more stuff before next Friday (having to take time off work and get back for after school pick up) and arrange to meet solicitor to hand keys in and sign stuff. Have piles of washing and washing-up and am knackered. I know I have to get rid of loads of stuff and am eBaying and Gumtree etc but it's slow. Am really skint just now so really need to try and sell stuff rather than bin and a lot of stuff has sentimental value and I'm a bit of a hoarder at the best of times.
I am a bit of MN addict as well and find once I'm on that's me for the night and before I know it it's midnight and nothing done again.
Help me with a plan please before I disappear in here and DD gets up and can't find me amongst all the stuff - we already have to weave round boxes all over the place.
Oh and my car is packed with stuff from my last visit to the house we're selling and I'll have to unload all that into my flat before going back again to clear the rest out.

How are the DC's bedrooms?

I know you say the lounge is full already, but could you shove the things from your bedroom in there so you at léast have somewhere To sleep?

Is there anyone you can ask To help you, RL support?

Can you afford to rent a storage unit?

Well DD's bedroom is OK (just her mess in there ) Guess I could put a few boxes in there. I have got help to clear out the place being sold and am sure my best pal would LOVE to get in here and make me bin the lot but I really need to try and make a bit of cash and get twitchy if someone tries to help TOO much when I'm sorting through stuff. It's just the motivation and letting go - do I really need 4 huge double duvets and 2 singles? No I don't but which 2 do I keep, or should I keep 3 just in case - you get the picture?

Not really starfish - I had a storage unit for a lot of stuff from the house we're selling up till a year ago when I bought this place (previously renting) and then took it all here - sentimental old furniture, china etc. I have just sold a bit of furniture on Preloved but it's not getting picked up for a day or so but I'll have a bit of 'wall space' in my bedroom to put boxes in then.

Dealing with all this stuff takes time. This is a realisation which I am trying to accept too. I think my clutter problems mainly stem from resenting the time it takes to sort-decide-arrange-to-sell-or-recycle-or-charity-shop-or-pass on. So I avoid the task and hate the clutter.

I recently spoke to a social worker who was helping a hoarder get through it all with cognitive behavioural therapy. I found that interesting... She gave me this link:

www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126386317

Long read but interesting if you are want to find out some of the reasons we wrestle with Stuff. Especially towards the end, the person involved took A YEAR AND A HALF to get rid of the clutter but she was happy because she was in control of the decisions.

You're doing really well though because you are already actually selling stuff and sorting it out

I would stay away from DD's bedroom, the whole thing is probably affecting her enough already. You need to be realistic about what you can get for your stuff, as most often then not the few pounds you'll earn will not be worth the time and hassle of listing, posting, arranging collection, ect.. And worst of all - it may take ages before you actually get around to selling.

Look at cash4clothes shops. They usually take shoes, bedding, cds, dvds etc. and it takes hardly any time. Maybe boot fair? I wouldn't attach any sentimental value to things. Living space is more precious than objects. Take pictures for remembering and get rid. Also when sorting thing don't muse whether it can be useful one day (everything can) but whether you can live without it.

I've moved 8 times in the last 4 years, so I have had to sort out lots of stuff. First thing to do is one, just one, box or bag per day. Don't set yourself goals of doing an entire room because that is just about unattainable. While you are sorting, split the stuff into two boxes, one for you to keep and the other for recycling/charity shop/freecycle/ebay/rubbish. The trick is to say 'one box for me, one box to go' and try to be ruthless. That will end up halving what you have. Harder than it sounds sometimes but with practise it gets easier. Good luck.

WRT to sentimental value, try thinking of it this way; what is more precious? This item or a nice home for DD with space to play?

I would bag up most things and charity shop them. Forget about the money you could make, be honest with yourself and accept that you wont get round to e-baying every last unwanted item of clothing so you might as well just get rid.

It sounds like this has got out of hand. Do you have some support in RL?

If I were you, I would focus on getting through the move, and then get that ruthless friend of yours to help you get rid. It's rare to miss something you chuck, and even if you do, you cab usually source it from somewhere.

40 boxes of stuff still to unpack? I don't own that much in total - and having moved three times recently I KNOW.

clearly you don't need any of that stuff as you haven't used it in a year. You could just bin it all, but that is not very 'green' - so start tackling it one box at a time, to the charity shop.

bad time of year for ebay. And yes, get all the help you can. (Itching to dive in....)

Take one step at a time and you will get there. Keep the clutter out of DD's room that is her personal space and by the sounds of it the only space she has to get away from it all

One duvet each and a spare double as in emergency would work for Dd bed to and yup ruthless you need be realstic about what is worth selling v effort and stuff

I have a ruthless moment couple times a year and if not used then it goes

I too have this constant guilt about getting rid of stuff and I think I should try to get money for it. A friend said I should think about the value it gives me by getting rid of it. In other words, as other posters said, is the value of getting rid thus giving you and your daughter more space worth more than the money you are in reality going to get for it?

You sound like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I hope you can see your way through this current (and temporary) situation.

Thanks for all the replies Well a guy has just picked up a dresser I had in my bedroom - sold on Preloved for £100. Space and some cash for the pot! I can now move boxes off my bed and out of livingroom so that's a start. I have stuff like loads of vintage table linen and china that was my mums and it's stuff like that I find hard to part with. But it's just stuff right? When I think about it I'm sure she wouldn't have wanted it to cause me to live like this because I can't face getting rid of it.

excellent news on the dresser!

inherited items do not need to generate guilt. Keep it if it is useful or beautiful, but if you are just keeping it because your mum left it to you and you feel guilty; photograph it and then get rid of it.

Hi op lots of charities will come and pick up, so its not like throwing stuff out you will be passing a good deed on.

Car boot sale?

OP
I didn't mean you should use DD's room To store things. You both need a refuge from the clutter. One thing I hated about living with my parents was my room being used by siblings To store their cráp. It showed me that I had no value, as long as they could store and access their stuff. I moved out at 16 and never looked back.

Hopefully if you are able to retrieve your bed things are on the up. You need a place to rest your head. Everything is easier after a decent sleep.