Not getting everything done. Any tips?

[Blossomsparkle]

Hi

Just wondered if anyone could give me tips on managing my house more effectively. I have 4 kids aged between 18m-8yrs. My ex-husband left last year so I have to do everything, he barely sees them and definately does not help. I have no help from family at all no matter how many times I have asked, and I have no friends due to the abusive nature of my marriage. I also have a very painful foot injury that is being treated, but is exasperated by having to walk everywhere (or bus for longer distances). I take my children to all their activities as well. Sorry for the ramble just wanted to let you know what its like.

My problem is getting all the housework done, my foot condition makes walking very slow. I spend all day trying and still I have amountain of ironing a mountain still to be washed. I am still cleaning dinner pots at 10pm. The older children have chores, but sometimes there isn't time between getting home making tea, doing homework, going to swimming lessons, and bedtime routines and some playtime.

On top of what needs doing daily I try and tackle a room a day, but I never get anything straight.

Has anyone any tips?

Do your older children help? What things aren't you managing to get done? I know how difficult it is as I have a leg injury too. As for ironing - well, I knocked that on the head years ago, I fold from the drier and hang things up on hangers so they dry with minimum creases.

Hi thanks for the reply.

Yes the older children dry the dishes and put them away and sweep and clean the kitchen floor and tidy their things away. I don't want to give them too much, so they still have some playtime. It takes us a while to get home from school.

Somedays its really bad, I can't even manage to have sorted a wash into the machine because the the little one is clingy and my 3 year old wants my attention and then it is so painful trying to get up and down the stairs, I feel like I am always playing catch up with just the basic things. Also with the little ones I am doing one thing, like washing the lunch pots and they are creating a new mess (not with toys).

I haven't got a dryer, so have to hang things on washing line and maiden and I haven't got the space for a dryer (live in small terrace).

I am sorry this has turned into a feeling sorry for myself post, will stop.

Just will have to keep trying, hopefully my foot will get better soon as I am due some money and will be enough for a car.

Thanks

Hi Blossomsparkle (lovely name btw).
I don't have any useful advice but just wanted to add my support. It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job in v difficult circumstances.
I would try and accept that some things will slide for a bit. The most important thing is to be there for your children which it sounds like you are doing and you are still getting them to all their activities.
Beyond the basics of cooking and washing try not to worry about it (easier said than done I know). Perhaps you should try again with speaking to your family about it. Maybe they could have the children for a few hours while you can get on with some sorting and cleaning.
I am sure if you take it easy now, when your foot is better and you can get a car things will seem a lot easier.
Well done for what you are doing. I only have 2 DC and a helpful DP so you put me to shame!!

Oh you poor thing I was in a wheelchair for months due to a bad accident and it was hellish trying to keep ontop of everything else as well as sort myself out which took FOREVER!

One thing they said to me in hospital was that if I hadn't got a husband I would've had help with ds - is this something you could look into?

A good friend took ds to school and back for me for a year (!!) so I didn't have that to worry about but SS would've provided transport if not and the school offered to come and get ds if necessary - can you talk to the school?

Do the bare minimum and let the ironing go completely - fold from the line and it will be fine! I always buy non iron school uniform

As far as activities go - we just had to let them slide for 6 months. Are there any parents who could take the kids to them? Even if it's just for a few weeks it will give your foot a chance to heal.

I really feel for you. I think you need to talk to either your HV or GP to get the ball rolling wrt help. Homestart is one organisation that might be useful.