Will I be depriving my DCs?

[MathsMadMummy]

This is probably a fairly minor question, but I didn't want it to get lost in the other thread!

DH and I decided we are now very very likely to HE our 2 DCs. It's really exciting, and we're so happy to be doing what we feel is best, but I'm quite nervous too.

Academically, we're both very confident - between us and my uber-knowledgeable parents, we've got everything covered! Our main worry is finance. I know lots of you posted that it's as expensive as you make it, and I can understand that. But my very specific question relates to extra-curricular activities.

At my DSDs' school (which overall we really don't like; if it was our choice we'd HE them too) they get loads of opportunities - lunchtime/after school clubs, trips, visits by interesting people, almost all for free! And then there's all the different equipment they use in PE, DT, art etc. Is it a matter of "well, you've opted out of school, ergo you don't get anything for free, tough monkeys!"?

I love that at my school (I was lucky to have a really good education) we had all these opportunities too, trying so many new things. How do I expose DCs to as much as possible without breaking the bank?

As an adult HE'ed person, this is one of the reasons that I didn't HE my own children. I'm sorry - that doesn't help you, does it? But it really is an important concern.

As far as state provision of resources go, yes, it's totally tough monkeys. You're in or you're out.

trips: we do about a million more trips than schools do, in my family. All our biology/zooology conversations happen at the zoo or city farm. We talk about history when we are in the places showing that history (stately homes, whatever). Every year, we pick 3 or 4 places to have season tickets for, and some of those places (like the zoo) go on being favourites for years and years. On one of our attractions this last year, it worked out at less than £1 per visit for all of us...

Look at gritsday.blogspot.com for a diary of a woman and her triplets who basically live in fields doing nature walks and archaeology walks and history walks with interesting people (grit has a nose for free educational entertainments)

equipment - you need to cultivate people with interesting hobbies! My memories of woodwork and stuff are not school ones at all, but happened in the barn of a friend's dad in the holidays.

Some HE groups pool resources in various ways.

I think where you live will make a HUGE difference.

Quite a few of my friends have to pay for practically everything of interest their child does through the school anyway! Some get loads of exciting things going on in the afterschool club, but that's paid for childcare and not open to the entire school.

(for balance, I have other friends who have children in schools that do loads of fun things - I'm not claiming its schools in general)

We find just being able to do things off-peak, and organise things in a group lets us do lots of things free/reasonably priced. The museums and things here do workshops for any groups not just schools so long as you can get a minimum number.

DD goes to lots of activities that aren't aimed at HE children too; but all the parents have to pay for them so we aren't any worse off for HE.

Yep, I know a lot of things they might do are normal clubs - so school kids have to pay anyway. I s'pose I'm getting nervous that it's another 16ish years with only one (below national average) income. Good thing we aren't into Boden

We don't have a car, although if my parents are retired by then I'm sure they'll visit and want to help out. We live in a quiet, but very residential area with decent public transport. I know there's one HE group very near us but I haven't had much luck with researching it all yet.

Here's another question... if we weren't HEing, I'd be doing my PGCE and working as a teacher once DCs were in school (although DH and I may both go part time instead). I'll be doing this when we're done HEing as I'll still only be 40ish. Anyway, at present we get some child tax credit/housing benefit - is that going to change when DCs are school age? Because I could work and send DCs to school, but am choosing not to?

Child and working tax credits shouldn't change because your DCs reach school age, only if income/hours change. And you can still claim for the childcare element if its something you're entitled to, so long as you use a registered childcarer, regardless of age.

But I don't know how being a student might change things if that's a consideration. (Do know people who HE and study)

we are totally into boden as of a few weeks ago when someone sent us a mini boden fleece for a birthday. Goodness me, it's amazing quality and soooo warm. We intend to go on nurturing this friend with many child-created pieces of crap artworks

Hi mathsmadmummy.

My ds1 is 6 and has been HE since January.

I must admit I felt nervous about him missing out on stuff at school too - visits etc but tbh they only went on 1 trip per year, there wasnt any after school activities and when they did get people in to give talks etc he wasnt that interested and sometimes downright frightened (they had a soldier come in dressed in uniform from the crimean war covered in fake blood and bandages!!) Poor ds was really upset he was hurt He didnt understand.

Since HE his confidence has soared...to the point where he now goes to the local Beavers group once a week, swimming lesson once a week AND he goes to karate twice a week (which he was been going to prior to HE) so I really dont feel he is missing out.

He does miss his friends, but as he told me "not enough to go back to school!"

As for cost of HE, I do part structured, part autonomous learning with ds. I know which one he prefers!!! We do KS1 literacy, nueracy and science and anything else he wants to learn about. I have probably spent about £70 on workbooks to see us through til september but only because he is getting through them at quite a rate!! Some HEers do completely automomous learning and so it doesnt cost anything. Some HEers do school
at home which can cost quite a bit.

We already had loads of art stuff...paper, paints, pencils etc etc but he is not that interested in art tbh. Would much rather go and see the animals at the local farm.

We have joined 2 local HE groups and he has been on 3 really interesting workshops already.

Good luck x

When you find other HE'ers in your area you won't be short of things to do....
We do tennis, table tennis, swimming & until recently met with another family to do Geography together. There are oodles of school trips you can organise. Just for starters Pizza Express do a schools programme, the kids make their own pizzas & best of all it's free.
I promise, things will fall into place for you.

Hi MMM

Not sure why I haven't replied to this yet. I'm not usually backwards in being forwards on this topic

I think that HE children in many ways have nore opportunities than schooled children. I remember having lots of 'taster' sessions in school - someone coming in to show us, weaving, as a random example. But, we had no time to continue anything we were interested in, and no further opportunities to. If your children are HEd, then they can carry on an interest for as long, and in as much depth, as they like.

Also a lot of skill-sharing takes place in the HE community. I have a good knowledge of history, so often set up little meetings where we explore something from history. A local musician HEor runs a singing group. Her husband works in electronics so has set up an electronics group.

Also, you get more creative. Your child sees, for instance, someone doing morris dancing when you're visiting somewhere on holiday and gets obsessed with it. You find the local morris dancing 'club' and your child gets to go along because she doesn't have homework to do in the evenings so has the time to do it.

My advice would be to be patient, and to start meeting up with other HEors (or other people intending to HE) asap. Join your local email list and ask if there are other parents of pre-school aged children who'd like to meet up once a fortnight, or something - local soft-play place will do. Just get to know people, and get to know what's around.

Thanks for the reassurance

Mrs W - your point about 'taster' sessions is a really good one that I'd overlooked. We already like the idea of DCs being able to follow their own interests without having to stop at half term etc. And now I think about it, I can't begin to count the number of 'tasters' my DSDs have had, which they've enjoyed but had no way of following them up.

So another question to HEors, do you have a budget? Monthly/termly etc?

Kind of. When they're doing a lot of weekly activities, I budget for the amount they cost each week added together. Apart from that, we spend what we can when we can!

WRT budget, ds1 goes to karate, beavers and swimming lessons and monthly the cost for all that is £90. He wants to try horse riding in the summer though so that will go up!!!

As to workbooks - which we use - I have spent about £60-70 on them since January which should see us through til september and the start of KS2. I dont use reading schemes.

One thing I hadnt anticipated was that I now spend more on petrol as I am out and about more!

HTH x