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Original poster

What are the downsides of HE?

75 replies

Bubble99 · 18/01/2008 21:43

We are seriously considering HE for our two oldest boys (7 and 10) - We have read so many positive experiences from here and EO but would also like to hear any negative views from those who have HE.

Just want to have a balanced view before we take the plunge. And it does feel like a huge, but much needed, decision to make.

TIA

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 18/01/2008 22:04

For many families, drop in potential income.

Lack of support from family and friends can cause tension.

More complicated to arrange qualifications if you/DC want to do them.

Increased feeling of being the one who is responsible for what happens to them.

But for most people, these are all massively outweighed by the reasons they started thinking about HE in the first place

Julienoshoes · 18/01/2008 22:30

Drop in income.

For us that's been it.

The only family who mattered were there, when ds said he didn't want his life anymore

so they were always onside agreeing that something had to be done.

Our dc used FE collge /OU for qualifications so that wasn't a problem either.

So the only problem, massively outweighed by the fact that my children were removed from a place that was making them so unhappy.

And now seven years later they are well educated, confident, articulate and very happy.

discoverlife · 19/01/2008 00:08

We have only been doing it for a short time so our experience is limited.

Downsides so far are.

Total panic in first weeks as you adjust and come to terms with what you have done. Please de-school, don't do anything for at least a month that isn't fun and enjoyable.

From other parents, the sta at home parent can find it difficult to get 'ME' time.

But having a son who is increasingly willing to try something new (as he knows we won't critisise a percieved failure) is worth it. A happy child also makes for a happier home environment.

mattersnot · 19/01/2008 00:17

Wow bubble big change (occasionally I think about doing this but oldest only just done first term in reception).
Can I ask why you're thinking this?
What would happen to the nurseries?
(I've name changed to post on another thread and now I can't find it!!)

Runnerbean · 19/01/2008 10:06

-Constantly untidy house! (But then thinking about it my house wasn't that tidy when they were in school )

-You can lose friends as it creates tension between some who don't "get' it. However, my good friends are still just that and I have made soo many new, wonderful and genuine friends within the HE community.

-Guilt and constant worry if you're doing the right thing, but this lessens with time as the results are evident.
(My dd8 is capably working through KS3 maths and dd4 is reading well.)

Financially you have to live within your means, we buy most things second hand, virtually all my dds clothes are from charity shops!
The girls appreciate what they have though and understand having to save up for things. I know this isn't exclusive to being HE but our lifestyles would probably be very different if both my dh and I were working.
For a start I'd hardly ever see them!

I'm really thinking now and can't find any other downsides.

You have to be quite pro-active and resourceful, and I've had to come out of my shell making new friends and joining groups. I suppose we do a lot more activities than if they were in school because I feel like they need to 'socialise' as much as possible.

I also have to do a lot of driving around!

Runnerbean · 19/01/2008 10:10

Ask me the positives and I'll give you a list as long as your arm!!

Astrophe · 19/01/2008 10:17

runnerbean, do you ave 8 DD?

discoverlife · 19/01/2008 10:30

You need lots of bookcases.

I met my first HE ing family yesterday, and the first thing I really noticed was that the eldest was being kept in because of a throat infection and was happily reading a book. All the children were well spoken and polite but were not afraid of joining in the conversation.

Astrophe · 19/01/2008 10:33

and please may I have your list of positives runnerbean?

emmaagain · 19/01/2008 11:19

astrophe, I think runner bean has a DD aged 8, not 8 DDs. But I could be wrong...

Runnerbean · 19/01/2008 11:24

Yes sorry I have 2 dds 8 and 4!

motherhurdicure · 19/01/2008 11:44

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discoverlife · 19/01/2008 13:35

Yep I also agree about the day/date issue as you tend to educate anytime anywhere. Last night I was trying to explain why Helium makes your voice squeaky, in a restaurant full of other diners, whilst happily sucking helium from balloons and making a right show of ourselves.
The conversation also swung around the speed of light and the proposed 'speed of dark', the best way to cook a steak etc.

ShrinkingViolet · 19/01/2008 14:12

the downsides for me are trying to find some uninterupted "me" time, and struggling to help Father Christmas with his shopping in Nvember and December.

gibberish · 19/01/2008 14:24

Same downsides for me:

Lack of 'me' time.
Lack of storage space for art stuff/books which seem to reproduce overnight/games etc
Drop in income as only dh and I each work p-t.
Endless repetitive questions from sceptical on-lookers i.e. But are you a teacher? What about the socialisation aspect? What about exams? Is it legal?
Having to make sure my children don't enthuse about being HEd as this can make school children unhappy about not being HEd

But as has been said, the drawbacks pale into insignificance alongside the positives. I wouldn't change anything.

emmaagain · 19/01/2008 14:46

Having our decision for our family taken as a personal criticism by families of schooled children and by teachers. Not all teachers. Not all schooled families. But enough to make it awkward sometimes.

But again, the positives are 1000000000000 times bigger

discoverlife · 19/01/2008 15:33

Oh, one very humerous one. My cousin asked me when told. 'Oh, I didn't know you were one of those!'. 'One of those said I?'. 'Yes, you know a free love type person'. PMSL.

CoolYerBoots · 19/01/2008 15:45

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juuule · 19/01/2008 15:50

Surely the courses you mention could cover that level of information.

Blandmum · 19/01/2008 15:50

One potential downside, unless you live reasonably near a well appointed Museum, is lack of resources.

I taught Invertebrate classification to year 7 last week. they enjoyed the pictures etc, but nothing was as exciting for them as seeing a real tape worm!

made the whole lesson come to life.

Next lesson they get to explore the difference between mass and wight. Now I'll be starting the lesson with NASA clips of astronauts in a 'weightless' state, which you can easily do at home. But then they get to work with the newton meters. And few homes will have those.

juuule · 19/01/2008 15:55

The home-ed groups near us seem to be able to arrange educational trips to a variety of places covering a wide range of subjects.

QuietlyGoingMad · 19/01/2008 15:59

.

QuietlyGoingMad · 19/01/2008 15:59

sorry, wrong topic.

CoolYerBoots · 19/01/2008 15:59

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Blandmum · 19/01/2008 16:00

I'm sure they do. But we have access to the kit on any given day. And we also take the kids on educational trips.

My year 10s, for example, will be doing the focusing of the eye on Monday morning. Not only do we have books, and drawings, and an interactive laptop simulation, they will also get to use light boxes with a range of lenses to see which lenses 'bend' the light most.

And I will top it off with my demo of the lens that is an small balloon, with bodge tape for the suspensory ligaments.

The latter is easy to do

but the light boxes are a real advantage, particuarly for this class, as I have a lot of Kinesthetic learners.

And this is just a bog standard Monday. Not an arranged anything.