Thought/ experiences about a gap year to mature and recover from burnout

[HerissonCache]

DD is considering taking a year out. She is autistic and secondary school and college have been a pretty wild ride both socially and in terms of her mental well-being. She is reasonably academic and has applied (and his offers) for economics from decent RG universities, none of which are nearby.

I think she is increasingly feeling that she does not feel socially or emotionally prepared for living several hours away from home just yet, even with excellent support from the uni (York and Sheffield her top choices for this reason.) I don’t disagree. In many ways, she is really independent and will happily cook, clean and travel independently but life has been hard and confusing these past few years. She is academically ambitious and has plans for a good career (subject to possible change obviously.) She has a bit of money saved (by herself), access to a car/ fast train to London and is very prudent and reasonably sensible.

She has talked about inter railing in the summer, travelling to Central Asia with me, getting a local job, getting some skills or doing short courses related to her future career, joining a new choir, volunteering. She has no interest in a more ‘typical’ gap year travel experience to Asia etc. Most of her friends will be heading to uni but several will be on years out or studying locally.

Any thoughts/ experiences of similar, especially for ND young people?

It sounds like a good idea to me. There is a lot of pressure on graduates and having a job from anywhere under her belt will mean AI doesn't just discount her. Time to reframe what she wants to do and firm it up is never wasted. Once they are in the workplace a year to travel may not be possible again for decades.

Dd1 did this and ultimately decided to study with the OU. Even now at 23 she is still working towards the kinds of life skills and resilience required for independent living. She absolutely could not have gone straight to a uni - your dd obviously isn't mine but be mindful that a year out can make it more difficult to return to a context that was already challenging. We (my family) learned that from covid. So there are arguments on both sides.

DD wasn't sure if she wanted to go to university at all. We told her we would support her decision whatever she wanted to do.
She spent 3 months volunteering in South America, then went inter railing. When she was at home she was working. During that time she realised she did want to go to university, so applied with her results, and got accepted, without having to wait months to find out.
She definitely matured during her gap year, and grew as a person.
It was well worth it for her.

Both of my DC did this and it was helpful as they matured and for my DD it helped with her anxiety and her ND as she had her grades and the year gave her time to think about what she wanted to do.

Wish Id taken one. I have ADHD but didnt know it at the time.

I'm a fan of gap years. I honestly can't see any reason not to do so in the circumstances you've outlined. The plans for the year sound great.

As an academic I wish more would take a gap year, OP. It generally does a world of good personally, and pays off academically.

My one caution is that because DD is going into a Maths-related field, it isn’t completely clear how the admissions tutors will view the plan. I suggest she apply now and think of a positive way to present it, including a brief discussion of how she will revise Maths before beginning university ( which she really needs to do). Getting permission ahead and deferring is the most stress free approach to a gap year although a deferred application is also fine.

I don’t mean to sound pessimistic, because I’m not. Best wishes to her.

Absolutely she should go for it. I see so many of our first years who are exhausted before they start from the treadmill of exams and SATs from about the age of 7!

If I had my way, it would be compulsory for any young person to take at least a year away from formal education after A Levels.

I did it (although I was only 16 when I sat A levels) and also between my undergraduate degree and PhD. And each time it confirmed for me that university study was what I wanted to do more than anything else.

I teach too many half-hearted undergrads who’d be better doing something else and coming back to formal study later in life. I wish we had an education system that facilitated that, instead of the middle class treadmill!

I think it’s a brilliant plan for your DD @HerissonCache

DD did four heavy duty Alevels. She’s now doing a STEM degree. I’m so glad she took a gap year - SE Asia/Australasia/Europe travel. She and we worked hard to save up for it. It gave her a chance to learn resilience and self sufficiency.

I think it is a brilliant idea. I know so many ND pupils who jump straight from school to uni and then jack it in as the stress and change are so overwhelming. Good for her to have a plan. She can earn a bit of money locally, travel with you and recharge a bit before uni. Sounds like a brilliant idea.

Gap years are mocked and have gone out of fashion but they are a good idea. A lot of uni students take one after uni now, due to burn out, which seems like a less sensible time to do it, given the job situation these days.

My dd did this. Sixth form was rough with a major upheaval due to so called friends behaving very badly right at the start. As she went in to year 13 she was very anxious and with no clear view on what degree she wanted. So we said forget about applications, concentrate on the course. She did so, got her grades and applied with these in hand having worked out what she wanted to do. Then she had a chill year growing up so much. She’s now v happy at uni. As your dd has offers I would simply defer and forget about it. A year to grow up is really helpful.

She should do it. Central Asia is a fascinating place.

Bumming around and travelling a bit is totally fine.

Resist the madness of the endless pressure to strive, do ‘spring weeks’, get into Warwick, Bath blah blah, get a first, get an internship, work for the ‘big four’ or a ‘magic circle’ firm. Many millions of people are perfectly happy without having to put themselves under pressure to conform to these very unimaginative norms of what constitutes ‘success’.