Need advice from uni parents

[StackedTeacups]

firstly, appreciate this is a fortunate position to be in, I am looking for advice not judgements.

My daughter has 2 decent uni offers, for ancient history. One for Durham,
one for Exeter. We live in home
counties so both are a long trek from home, which is fine. One (Durham) requires A grades, the other B’s due to contextual
offers. She’s totally torn between the two and I have no advice to give as I have no idea which would be the better bet, if any. Anyone with experience/ advice to offer?

Durham for firm Exeter for insurance if it’s lower grades.

I loved both - and chose Exeter. Had a fab time there and the weather was a lot better than I was used to (coming from the north). But this was a looong time ago. Sorry not much help!

It really does depend on which she felt most at home at. Durham is a very long way from the Home Counties

Aside from course content etc does your daughter have an idea of where she would prefer living having visited them? Following an open day and offer holder day for History at Exeter my child has decided they could really see themselves living there and liked what the campus and city has to offer

They are quite different universities – does she have a view about which setup she would prefer? Durham works on a collegiate system which is relatively unusual in English unis, but has many benefits. It is a very beautiful place but very small. That’s perhaps a consideration. `

Not that Exeter is exactly a massive city – but it doesn't have the collegiate offer.

Is the Durham offer close to her PGs? Will it be achievable? Durham is on paper the more desirable uni but it’s not always as simple as that. If you won't enjoy what it offers then it”s not the right choice. I am somewhat involved in uni sport and Durham has a very good sporting offer, if that's of interest; Exeter from my observation less so. But that's very much anecdata.

The usual way would be to put the higher offer as firm and the lower one as insurance. But that is making a commitment so you need to be sure the higher offer is the right one.

Could have written this post last year. DD had offers from both Durham and Exeter for English. She liked them both but preferred the course at Exeter. She got a really low offer of ABC from Exeter and A*AA from Durham. We are in Surrey and Exeter is 3 hours away and Durham 5 hours. She really struggled to turn down the prestige of Durham but felt that she would be happier at Exeter. It was also great for her to go in to her A levels knowing that the pressure was off with her low Exeter offer. She is in her 1st year and absolutely loving it.

Has she been to visit both? How does she feel about the collegiate system of Durham vs Exeter’s campus? Durham seemed much more spread out with the majority of socialising/nights out happening in the colleges. Whereas Exeter has a decent night life in the city centre (despite it being small). There’s not much in Durham itself although you do have Newcastle a short train journey away. DD did feel like Durham was a bit too far away whereas there is a direct train from Exeter to a nearby station which makes coming home for the odd weekend easier logistics wise.

My eldest also rejected Durham. He’s been very happy at his campus based university. It’s sometimes just a gut feeling

Durham is the better of the two universities consistently ranked in the UK in the top 10 whilst Exeter falls in the top 15; with Durham 89th on the 2025 QS World University Rankings and Exeter at 169th. Durham is a small, pretty city within easy reach of the motorway; and a short drive to Newcastle.
I was at St Andrews but later lived in the county of Durham for several years. Personally, I would choose Durham.

Is the course that your daughter has applied to at Exeter on the main campus or the Cornwall one? I know some history courses at Exeter are in Cornwall which put my son off.

I have no knowledge of Exeter but can tell you that DS is coming to the end of his three years at Durham and has had a great time. I feel the collegiate system really helps them settle in. As @clary alluded, Durham has the greatest % of sports participation, which is partly due to the fact there is plenty of choice to play college sport if you are not university representative level. Then again, my goddaughter is musically talented and she persuaded the college to fund a band tour to Germany! We're from the north but there are plenty from London and the SE.

Most importantly though, the teaching is proving both excellent and supportive in this final year. Many of his friends elsewhere are not being so lucky. Year 1 was a mixed bag but DS's tutor told him in the first term 'have some fun, you've only got to pass this year'.

The new Chancellor looks to be an excellent role model too.

My dd is at Durham in her 2nd year and absolutely loves it. We are in the Home Counties about 6 hrs away but it’s an easy train journey into London and then change and out the other side. She wouldn’t be the only one doing the same journey by a long way. Has she visited Durham? My daughter is in a Bailey college (Chads) if you have any questions- she’s living out this year but is going back into college next year- she loves her college very much!

That was a reason one son didn’t apply. He’s been to visit friends and says it’s amazing. But history/politics are in Falmouth and he didn’t want to be there.

My child has been offered History/Ancient history at Exeter and its at the Streatham campus in Exeter- worth checking tho

@StackedTeacups - you probably know this but students can choose a firm place and an insurance place. I think a lot of students in your DD’s shoes would probably firm Durham and have Exeter as their insurance offer. Is there a reason she doesn’t want to do that? Is it because deep down she prefers Exeter?

As for getting there, we’re in London and elder DD is at uni in Scotland. We drive her up at the start of the year and back down at the end of the year but between times the trains are generally very efficient and she mentioned the other day that she’s got used to whistling back and forth on the train. So don’t let the distance put you off unless your daughter particularly wants to be closer.

My DD will be firming Durham and, probably, having Exeter as her insurance (the offer is the same but we’re thinking Exeter may have more flexibility). Her course is very niche and those are her only 2 options. So perhaps their paths may cross. My elder DD is in language classes with another MN offspring (as discovered through a post-results day uni thread) 😀!

DD ended up firming Exeter and insuring Durham. Even though Exeter was the lower offer that was her preference. It essentially meant she didn’t really have a viable insurance but the Exeter offer was low enough that she didn’t have to worry about not making the grades. The Durham offer (although lower then her PG’s) would have been quite a bit of pressure, although she did actually met it come results day.

Are there any imminent offer holder days she can go to and that might help her decide? Think she has till May to decide.

Can she attend the offer holder days before deciding?
Durham is only an extra 45 min - 1 hour on the train from London compared to Exeter.

She will be spending 3 years there so she needs to know how happy she is with where she is going.

Also, consider the cost of accommodation. I believe Exeter is more expensive. I think other considerations have already been covered on here.

Does either uni require students to move in/out fully each term? Distance becomes a factor then; it's a massive chore especially if an overnight stay is involved. Also worth noting that Exeter only guarantees an accommodation place for firm offer holders and I think the application window opens quite early (at least, that was the case last year).

As with many things I think that Uni is both a Head and Heart decision.
DD did her research etc but when we visited some just felt right for her and some didn't. I was the same many years ago - when I visited York I just felt that it was where I wanted to be.

Have a really good look at the courses. Compulsory modules Vs options. Whilst the choice of options may change, it's good to know that there are options.
Have a look at assessment methods - coursework Vs exams Vs other. Is there one which would suit better?
Have a look at clubs, societies, sports available. Is there something your DD would particularly enjoy? A trawl through both unis social media might be helpful. Student unions and individual clubs/socs usually have their own accounts so you can see how active they are.
Y2+ accommodation - amount, cost, location

But did she really not get a gut feeling when visiting? Both mine did and ended up where their gut feeling originally told them to be!

He checked thoroughly. And is now in his second year at UCL. Loving it!

My DD didn’t like Exeter on Open Day so didn’t even apply, she’s now at Durham. If it really is a toss up for your DD I’d firm Durham. My DD does a lot outside the classroom and loves it. We live in SW London but not really an issue as she only comes home for the end of term breaks.

Has she actually visited either? It's not clear. She needs to go for the one she liked the best (town, campus, halls). 3 years is a long time to be somewhere she thinks she 'ought to' go rather than actually liked the best

Lots of good advice above, OP. It conflicts because people offer different perspectives and they are all useful. Perhaps reading this thread would help your DD figure out her priorities. That seems to be the sticking point.

If DD prefers Durham I think she should go for it. They wouldn’t have made the offer without a belief in her, and Exeter is great Insurance. ( I assume that if she prefers Exeter one of her other choices is decent Insurance.)

Best wishes to her

Durham does not have a good rep re: SA and misogynistic behaviour