Teen DD wants to join the army

[Andformynexttrick]

Looking for first hand experience around the consideration of, preparation for and life in the army. DD 17 currently doing A levels, decent predicted grades but no desire to go to Uni. Deeply committed to army cadets having joined at ~14y & progressed through the training programme - currently working towards Master Cadet. Has a horror of a desk job, loves the cadet fieldcraft aspect (playing soldiers outdoors for us uninitiated folks). We are not a military family, but DH wanted to join the RAF (and prob regrets not doing so but that’s another story!) and DS 20 was a committed Air Cadet (wants to be a pilot) - but I digress . . .
We are obviously aware of the state of the world etc etc as is she (as far as a 17 yo can be) and I don’t want to discourage her just because of risk. What I do want her to know is the good/bad/ugly of the job of an army officer (infantry or armoured corps possibly?) in general and as a woman. So practical aspects eg living/travel as well as training (?Sandhurst & beyond). And any other things I don’t know that we should be asking. TIA
PS. I’m not quite sure whether this is the best topic to post on. Point me in the right direction if not.

Hi, OP -

I have no practical tips for you. I am just here to say I think it’s great that you’re supporting DD’s dream. As you say, there is so much happening in the world that I imagine it’s not completely easy for you and her father.

Also, I wonder if you would get more responses by asking to move this to AIBU for traffic?

Very best wishes to her

My DD applied to be a musician in the army. Her interactive thyroid was on her application for. Passed the audition and offered a place on her choice of flute, sax and clarinet with piano as second study. Spend a day with in the barracks in London. Everyone loved her. Didn't quite pass the fitness but was offered a place on a pre basic training course.
All this took well over a year. Then the medics said no because of her thyroid.
Then two months later she was offered a place again. She sensibly explain why she couldn't do it. She was assured it would be fine. Next day the offer was withdrawn.
She was encouraged to apply again the following year.
If universities, or any other employer, treated applicants the way the army treat theirs they would be facing an investigation.
They lost a potentially fantastic soldier.
Having been determined not to work in an office she is now a trainee accountant and doing very well.

Under active thyroid

Medical screening was outsourced to crapita with predictable results...

My sister in law was in the army and has now moved to the RAF for promotion purposes. She enjoys army life and has travelled widely. The women get separate sleeping areas generally when abroad. She does still get a lot of banter from the blokes so I think you need a fairly tough skin especially when you become more senior

I was in your situation last year @Andformynexttrick but after university, not 6th form.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/higher_education/4820229-officer-training-after-university?reply=133876128

I would support her with the caveat that she has a Plan B. Similar to the poster upthread, my relative joined, was doing better than anyone could have imagined and then had a medical condition and was discharged. Told if they had the surgery to solve the medical issue they should join back up. Surgery, recovery, training and reapplication later (which all came to over two years) they have been rejected by Occupational Health despite passing medical and fitness. So they are now 21, nothing to show for about four years of their life…it has not been positive for them.

I think when the army is good for you, it’s the best in the world but when it fails, it fails hard.

Good point. We will keep that in mind.

I'm "just" a wife, not actually serving (another one who failed the medical but 15 years ago!)

Weve had good times. Weve had bad times. DHs role is one of the really mobile ones so we never spent more than 2 years in one place, but the Army is moving to more stable living now (apart from a few roles like his!)

There is a lot misogynistic men... but also a lot of decent men. It gets better every year. The more senior female officers, the better it gets (according to DH... he's had a few femal brigadiers recently and really noticed it!)

He's had enough now though and counting the months down!

Never 'just' a wife 🥰 I wish your husband well with his transition and hope he is taking advantage of all the transition support available to him (and you too!) 🫡

I was in the military and joined straight from school. I had nothing but a positive experience to be honest. There is a big difference in commissioned and non commissioned training and experience so she should choose wisely on that front. I only left to have a baby as it wasn’t so family friendly back when I had her otherwise I would have stayed, ie no option of part time. Had some amazing experiences, lots of things I couldn’t have done in civvy street and my best friend is still a girl I joined up with. I did the Kosovo war and never actually felt that nervous or worried and was in the main a positive experience in terms of team morale (aware war is not actually positive before I get jumped on) try and support her, my parents were so negative and it just spurred me on more, other than sign me in as I was a minor she had no involvement which was really upsetting and strained our relationship forever.

Have you spoken with the recruitment people about options?

If her results are good she may be able to get sponsorship at Uni where should could join the uni cadets. It may lead to her having useful civilian qualifications in case the military doesn't work out. (If she joins the uni raf squadron she should get taught to fly)

Thanks for the thoughts@Thethruththewholetruth.
Until recently she wanted to enlist and train as a combat medical tech as she enjoys the first aid they do at cadets. But in the last week or so she’s been thinking about officer training (quite a few cadet colleagues in the company are headed for Sandhurst). I hope that by engaging with it ourselves we can support & encourage her in her choices. Sorry you didn’t feel that from your folks.
@BigFatLiar Thanks for the sugggestion. Tbh I don’t think she’s entertaining any thoughts of Uni atm as she wants to crack on straightaway with soldiering. But it would be sensible to check out courses. So far I’ve only seen nursing/medicine sponsorships - both of which she’s not really skilled up for (sciences 👎)

As per previous posts, read the medical exclusions carefully as they are super strict. So many things can cause your application to fail - history of asthma, eczema, dietary intolerances / allergies, previous broken bones etc. If there's even the slightest chance that any of these apply, manage her expectations accordingly.

I'm the mum of a daughter who joined the army. Had a year out after school then went to Sandhurst for officer training.She was one of the youngest as nowadays most go to Sandhurst after doing a degree, though its not compulsory. The army paid for her to do a degree alongside her training.
The whole thing was a fantastic experience, she thrived and loved it, and has set her up for life. She's now left the army, but the skills gained have led to a great career in the civil service. Ex army officers are sought after in many fields.
I couldn't be prouder of her. Best of luck to your daughter OP

All I know is if she does do a degree she'll be fast tracked in the army to officer

Although having the army pay for your degree alongside training is pretty amazing as PP

A family friend’s daughter is several years into in some kind of technical communications role, their daughter loves it and has made it her life. The family live in a rural area with few other decent employment options locally,

I don’t know how much that influenced this choice but she was bright girl who might not have been able to find an interesting job locally. The army has been the making of her, her parents couldn’t be happier for her.

As a forces wife the only thing I'd add to the pp great advice is to try and get her to get some real world work experience before joining. Work such as a Saturday job etc is very different type of work to the forces experience

If your daughter is interested in being a CMT, she should know this is not an officer role. Direct Entrant Officers who join the RAMC are called Medical Support Officers who deal with lots of med planning and coordination. A very interesting role but not hands on care. If she is interested in medical fields in the military, she might want to look into nursing? The army will pay for a nursing degree for soldier entrants, and provided she has performed well across year 1/2 she can go to AOSB (officer selection board) in year 3 to commission as a Professionally Qualified Officer in the QARANC.

DE entrance is where you will find the typical troop-platoon command roles leading to other regimental roles or staff roles in policy/strategy.

Selection for RMAS is tough, a lot of candidates are university graduates who have had some experience of living away from home/leadership roles in societies etc. However, CCF will definitely give your daughter some good understanding of the type of character and skills AOSB are looking for.

i commissioned 11 years ago and remember finding the selection process great fun. RMAS was equal parts horrid and amazing.. 44 weeks of constant exercise, education and assessment can take its toll - especially as you can be one ankle roll away from a medical discharge as stated above.

Happy to talk more over DM if it helps and point in right direction for specific capbadge recruitment too.

I should add there is an option for officer entry for QARANC but she will need to be an RN already or be accepted on a nursing degree, and apply for a bursary.

Thanks for that. Yes she is aware re CMT being non officer. Coincidentally she has been put in touch with an MSO & they spoke yesterday. Really helpful - this person suggested she’d be a better fit for officer training rather than CMT route. She hasn’t expressed any interest in nursing as she loves being out in the field - hence the CMT idea. She seems v resilient so far having had a few really challenging camps (inc being the only girl in a section of big 18yo lads) - your feeling about RMAS selection resonates! I’m weirdly happy if she has a hard time as if she still loves it after that she’s going to be more prepared.
Thanks for your offer for further info - I might contact you direct.

Did she watch this last year?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/2023/soldier-documentary-starts-5-october

Yep - sure did! And any other military docs on tv 😉

This is really interesting. DD also wants to be a CMT. At 6th form options evening tonight she spoke to 2 chaps from the army - one recruitment (long chat about Harrogate) and the other Rifles Reserves.

On hearing her predicted grades <7s & 8s) both tried to encourage her to go to uni and apply for a bursary for physio or nursing.

I'm trying to be really supportive... But I'd far rather she was a civilian HCP.