Thanks and a question

[Regularposterhere2]

Hi, everyone -

I usually post here as the former STEM admissions tutor, almost always in response mode. I hope you recognise me. Please forgive the length of this post. I really hope you can help me here.

I am writing now firstly to thank the posters on this board for almost always being a beacon of sanity. Sometimes we have civilised debate but that can be enlivening and generate good solutions. A few regular posters are consistently constructive, virtually everyone means well, and I always appreciate that.

At the moment I am under a good deal of stress helping my parents with something complex, and I stupidly got sucked into a thread dominated by some purists. I wasn’t always at my sharpest, but some of my points were good. And I agreed with them perhaps 70%.

I have never been lit into so fiercely, repetitively, or in such a fantastical or unintellectual manner - a couple of women wrote to say they had experienced the same thing and now feel silenced.

But the reason I am writing is that two sub/threads of my ‘wins’ have vanished without a trace. Nor formal deletions, just vanished. Once they ganged up to mock me for using a phrase I accidentally plagiarised from a great British writer. Accused me of stupidity, all kinds of things. Really piled it on. When I named the writer (after realising what I had done) and said they had to choose between setting themselves against the literary establishment and owning up to a personal attack, every reference to the phrase and that final post vanished.

Someone kept goading me with hypothetical situations. (Many of her cohorts wasted a lot of my time thinking they were real, but that is another story). When she assured me one was real, I looked into it - I found several good sources proving it was a hoax. All those posts have also vanished without a trace.

Following several PPs on the thread I unwittingly used a certain abbreviation. One of the provocateurs warned me it could have me banned. In a goady post one of her cohorts then used it, so I asked if she agreed it could have one banned? That post has also vanished.

I suspect other posts of mine have vanished; it would be tiresome and time consuming to check.

Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? If so how did you handle it?

All advice welcome. With great thanks

Well this is weird - at least some posts now appear. I had not checked them in the minutes before I wrote. Please ignore, and thank you

Never ever engage on this topic on MN.

Sorry, the AIBU topic or deletion? And thank you very much indeed

There are certain topics to avoid at all costs. People like being in their own echo chamber. I'm sure you can think of a few topics over here too which are best avoided. Stick with the grown ups in education or find a safe sub group. Don't enter the lion's den!

Thank you, @Dearover Greatly appreciated

Firstly @Regularposterhere2 I recognize you and I'm sorry this happened, it sounds stressful and unpleasant.
The only thing I can think is that posts may be removed temporarily while they are judged by administrators to see if they are breaking any rules or not, and then reinstated, or removed accordingly. This is supposition on my part only.

I am really grateful for the insights you provide. I am a UK national living in the US with two kids who are going to be applying to UK universities soon. Your insights have been revelatory at times and have had us rethink many of the things we assumed about the process, but were on the wrong track.

The only thing I can suggest, as a way of protecting yourself from future abuses, is to create some alternative id handles for different types of subject threads. Also as others have said, there's probably a few known posters to avoid engaging with as they do not seem to exist but for a bit of a bashing / conflict / fight club type scenario.

Lastly, I wouldn't worry about it overly. You're not going to be banned in a month of Sundays. I hope everything with your family and the subsequent stress shakes out okay.

Huge thanks, @JesusWeptLady . I think the answer us not to engage with extremists again. My antennae usually work but they failed me this time.

Your kindness at this time is incredibly moving. I very much hope things are working out well for your DC

Sorry this happened to you.

If it helps you can hide topics - on a laptop its under talk customise talk settings manage hidden topics and then just add in AIBU or whatever section or thread is difficult. Its best not to engage if people are being deliberately unpleasant. Report to MNHQ if you need support, they are normally excellent at helping.

Sounds horrendous!
What has mnhq response been if any?

Hi @Regularposterhere2,

I must admit, I tend to stick to a couple of areas of MN. I always appreciate your advice and insights on the HE board. I'd ask MNHQ what is going on!

I've been involved in online rows before (although not really here) and I suspect that posts were suspended briefly for review. Try not to let it get to you? (Easy for us to say!)

Honestly there's some absolute loons on some of these boards, just engage with the ones you enjoy and don't waste time trying to 'win'

What is it they say? Don't roll around in the mud with pigs? You both get dirty but they enjoy it or something like that

Hi, @MoralOrLegal @Penguinsa @Rummikub and @Amx

Thank you so much for writing. Oddly enough reporting had not occurred to me but I am certainly going to to do that now. I really appreciate your responses