Another path- the first year ......

[chopc]

Apologies if I didn't tag anyone. Hopefully have inckueded all current posters

Chopc - Durham-History
@jano69 -Durham -History
@OnTheBenchOfDoom -Durham - Computer science
@Majaso12 -Imperial - Biochemistry
@bendmeoverbackwards -Bristol- History
@Pumpkintopf -Imperial -Physics
@ChimneyPot -Brown (US) - Open
@Stillcrikey -Bristol -MML
@Tenpastseven - Bristol -modern languages
@Longtimenewsee - Durham - Chemistry
@MidLifeCrisis007 - Durham -History
@BigWoollyJumpers - Exeter- History
@SeasonFinale -Bristol- History
@Notagardener LSE
@Revengeofthepangolins UCL - History
@raspberryrippleicecream ? -Maths
@derekthe1adyhamster Birmingham- Computer Science
@Vargas -Durham -Geography
@AvocadoPlant Exeter -History

Yes @chopc . It doesn’t mean that it it won’t still happen of course but interesting that the SU also think it’s a step too far

Thanks chaps

Just arrived at DD’s accommodation and her room key isn’t working! Then they gave a spare one and that didn’t work either, so she’s gone back again to try and get it fixed. Got everything piled outside her room.

Just catching up on everyone's news. I thought by now everything would be a bit calmer with university life but more strikes especially regarding the marking is very worrying. It really makes me grumpy that so many teenagers are paying so much in fees and the disruption to their education is ongoing.

DD is still home and cracking on with revision. She is ready to go back to uni and see her friends but we have a relative flying in, sadly for a funeral, and she doesn't want to miss them. I think home is much too quiet for DD and as an only child she is bored when we are working and home friends are already back a uni.

We also love the moving bags we use them for skiing as they are easier to squash in the car. DD is the proud owner of cute sloth ones although I am wondering how many more she will need to get all her stuff home from uni come June!

We have plain bags, but they are great.

My poor DD, her uni is on the list of boycotting staff, she finishes this summer. Although she has some extensions due to extenuating circumstances so won't be finishing on time to graduate this term.

DS2's results were all fine according to GP, but he is referring him back to see if a coeliac test is called for. It's all about the blood count levels, high white cells, he has no ibs or other symptoms and doesn't feel unwell.

Anyway, one week left of lectures, then exams.

@BigWoollyJumpers can you provide a link to the bags you have? I tried looking but every review of the ones I have looked at are mixed. We initially used the blue Ikea bags which are great in theory but they allow stuff to spread out, taking up more space width ways in the car. I need more rigid bags to move Ds1 out shortly.

@OnTheBenchOfDoom

Here you go:
www.rexlondon.com/jumbo-storage-and-laundry-bags

@BigWoollyJumpers nooo they are all so pretty, how will I choose? Different patterns or a set? First world problems I know. Nice ones to have.

Hope everyone is ok and that Dc are coping well in exam season?
Dd has 6 exams . 5 are online. She says she really panicked with the first online one when it came to submitting it and was getting really stressed at how long it was taking. She only just managed to do it in time.
She’s had one face to face exam.. says it was great to just turn up and do it and then leave. Are other unis doing all/most online too? I guess unis will never go back to how it was will they.

She has booked in for some of the college exam de-stress stuff this week ( art and craft and playing with puppies in college garden were mentioned) .. such a good idea!

I think her exams finish at the end of next week and then the end of term fun starts.

Hi everyone @Longtimenewsee I was just coming on for a rant and some sympathy from my virtual friends.

Literally just had a call from DD. Hugely distressed, in tears, she has one hour to submit an exam essay that she hasn't started. She has done two out of three, over the last two weeks, but obviously not left enough time for the third. What can I honestly say? She didn't start early enough, she didn't plan properly, she left it too late...... none of those are helpful at this stage. She says she is a failure, breaks my heart, and that she has messed up. Well, yes, but there is nothing I can do, only urge her to get on with it, submit as much as she can, and perhaps talk to her personal tutor about why she messed up.

A very hard life lesson. I am desperately sad for her, as she is not the most resiliant of characters, and will take this badly. I have asked her to call me after 12am, so that I know she is OK. Any other wise words from this brilliant group?

Oh no your poor dd @BigWoollyJumpers

she's going to feel bad whatever but if she still has more to come she can redeem herself and if the worst comes she can resit and it’s only the first year . Better to make that mistake now and learn from it.

my advice in the circumstances and we had lots with ds1 is always ;
deep breaths you may still have passed
focus on the next exams rather than what has gone before, you can’t change the past but you can learn from what went wrong this time .
We love you and you’re not defined by exams - sounds lame but somehow seems to cut through the panic I find.
with ds1 I also found I needed to let him get it all out rather than jumping in too soon and then when the hurricane subsided just helping them to move on and think themselves about what to do next. So hard not to try and solve it for them.

I think it’s relevant that this cohort have not done exams since GCSE , they need reminding of the simple messages about exams and they need to relearn how to deal with the stress that is exam season . Plus these 24 hr exams are a nightmare.

good luck ,

Oh @BigWoollyJumpers I really feel for her (and you too). I think @Peaseblossum22 has it spot on for what to say. I totally understand the need to want to make it better for them, things going wrong for them really consume us as parents, I get it. But she won't be the first to do this and certainly not the last. When she's feeling calmer, encourage her to talk to her tutor or a member of staff she connects with, they will be able to comfort her I'm sure.

And I totally understand the feeling like a failure talk. My dd is generally ok but every so often I get messages to say she can't hack it, she's dropping out, she's useless/lazy etc. Heartbreaking to hear her talk about herself like this. But then it passes and she's ok again. I think many of our dc are perfectionists and struggle when things go less than perfectly which is all part of life.

I think my dd's exams start next week, she hasn't said much about them. She was home last weekend to celebrate dd1's 21st birthday - we had a lovely meal out at Sketch in London. I thought the food was overpriced for what it was but it was more about the vibe of this place. Dh and I felt very out of place with all these hip youngsters taking a million photos of themselves!

Oh @BigWoollyJumpers I really feel for your DD, and you. Not much she can do at this stage other than ensure her other essays are submitted. Lots of words of wisdom upthread but just to convey to our teenagers that it is okay to make a mistake and drop the ball from time to time. I'm a firm believer that by making a mistake, picking yourself up and moving on is a very important lesson in life. Sending you both a big hug.

My DD has her first exam today, eek!

@Longtimenewsee Exeter had 'pet a pig' for stress relief earlier this week which was quite popular apparently. I suggested that cute, fluffy puppies would be a good option too.

Good luck to everyone with exams and as long as they pass to move onto you year 2 all will be well.

So the essay was submitted, she just brain dumped in the end, but didn't manage to do all the references, about half she said. So she will get a mark, but obviously not the best.

While I was on the phone to her, one of her flatmates knocked to make sure she was OK. How lovely. She is taking her out for lunch. She can take a break, and then come back and perhaps drop a line to her tutor.

We both had tears, when I said I love her regardless, I just want her to be happy. Kids eh??

@Peaseblossum22 @bendmeoverbackwards @Dobbyismyabsolutefav Thank you for your wise words xx

Awww @BigWoollyJumpers you are a lovely mum. That doesn’t sound too bad at all, speed essay writing. If she does well on the other two and ok on this one, that’ll be ok. And I totally agree it’s ok to make mistakes sometimes, necessary even. The hard bit is convincing our dc of this!

@BigWoollyJumpers Your last sentence sums it up perfectly.
I know I've said this before but this parenting malarkey doesn't get any easier does it?

Aww bless your Dd @BigWoollyJumpers . I feel for you too.. Its very hard when they are upset far away and it can’t be fixed.

peasblossom22 gives great advice.

There will be quite a few others who have made a mistake ….they just tend not to shout about it . She will not be alone . somehow she needs to collect herself and move on

Has she submitted something? Can she do a late capped mark submission? Can she contact her tutor to find the best thing to do?

first year exams are the absolute best time to make a mistake aren’t they? They’ve never done uni exams before or had to pace themselves for 24 hour exams in this way . Lots to learn .

Sorry .. i got interrupted by lunch so missed your later reply.
so so glad she submitted something. She’ll get a mark (and no doubt be pissed at herself) but she’ll have hopefully done enough.
I often say to Dd - ‘ kick that one to the kerb and move the heck on ‘ .
Lovely flat mate she has there .. it’s good to know they have good people around them

@Dobbyismyabsolutefav .. OMG <<shudder>> gosh …I am really afraid of pigs.. that would be a hard pass from me!
😅

Just seen the posts today, @BigWoollyJumpers it’s a tribute to your DDs focus snd resilience that she managed to get something submitted in the time frame. Hopefully with the marks from the other essays it will be enough to carry her over the line.
DD commented that the essay titles were tricky and not what she had been expecting, so has also had to spend longer prepping and researching than she had anticipated.

@Dobbyismyabsolutefav - re the pet a piglet stress reliever, DD was very taken with this and was quick to jump in and get some piggy cuddles!

Hoping the exam season is going as well as it can for everyone, x

@AvocadoPlant I saw the photos and the little piglet was very cute.

Sorry to make you shudder @Longtimenewsee and it wouldn't have been my first thought as a stress relief.

😱<< shudders again>> @ ‘piggy cuddles’
😀

@Longtimenewsee 😂
In fairness wouldn’t be my choice either but DD loves all animals!