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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

18 - A level results looming!

11 replies

Monica53 · 01/08/2019 18:50

Hi
Our Dd A levels results due 15th August!! However as of last night she has said she really doesn't think she wants to go to Uni- conditional place at moment! We've said wait and see? However she is sure she doesn't want to go? I've found a few job/career fairs for her to go to..also yep nerves about results however she has said seriously she doesn't think she wants to even study what she was going to do? Any advice or anyone in similar situation. Thank you in advance xx

OP posts:
SirTobyBelch · 01/08/2019 21:13

You can't see inside her mind. There will be something bothering her: that she doesn't want another three years of feeling like she's at school, she's chosen a course that she felt she was expected to choose rather than one she wanted, she doesn't feel she'll fit in, she'll be separated from friends or family who she depends one, or something along those lines. It might be good to get her to talk to as many people as possible about how she's feeling. Not to get advice - which will almost certainly be bad - but just to sort out in her own mind what the issues are.

Original poster
Monica53 · 01/08/2019 21:57

Hi
Dd is talking to friends and a very close family members xx..so getting support from them and ourselves x..she did say she didn't want to move away anymore..So here's hoping she is ok..if she goes or not! We'd be happy as long as we know she is x

OP posts:
ShanghaiDiva · 02/08/2019 07:01

I would reassure her that she doesn't need to make a decision yet. She can wait and see how she feels once she has her results. Perhaps taking a gap year and reapplying next year for a different course or a university nearer home - lots of options.

Peaseblossom22 · 02/08/2019 07:09

She can always wait for her results and then ask to defer for a year .

stucknoue · 02/08/2019 07:26

Once she gets her results she can defer her place for a year or refuse to take it and reapply. Taking a gap year can be a really good thing, my dd grew up a lot working (only in fast food) and she saved a lot of money

SoonerthanIthought · 02/08/2019 07:28

Hi op, it's interesting that you mention that dd doesn't want to be away from home - ime it's not that uncommon for dc to realise at the last minute that they don't feel ready to leave home. Sometimes they can switch to closer universities that they can commute to, and that works out well. And if dd doesn't want to study the subject she's chosen she could change that too.

On the other hand if dd really isn't certain about whether she wants to go at all it may be best to postpone going altogether and see what the next few months brings to the decision. Do you live somewhere where dd could quite easily get temporary work while she has a chance to think about it more?

Lasteleven · 02/08/2019 08:26

My dd’s also awaiting results on 15th. She is keen to go to uni now, but had a big panic about it earlier in the year. Among her friends there is a big range of feelings. Some can’t wait to go, others don’t yet feel ready to move away, some aren’t sure about subject choice, some aren’t sure if uni is the right choice for them, some worry about student debt or being able to handle the pressures of more study. So I’d say your dd is perfectly normal to be unsure!

Maybe it would be better to take a year or more out of education than end up dropping out or regretting choice of uni or course. There are lots of advantages to time out - gaining work experience & maturity, saving up some money, time to think about subject choice & career options, do some relevant work placements or volunteering.

I’m not sure I’d be sending your dd to careers fairs if she’s already confused about what she wants - it could just add another layer of decision-making that may not help. I think if my dd was having the same worries, I’d encourage her to take a year out, get a job (any job, not a career), but just take time to decide what she wants. 18 is very young & inexperienced to be making life changing decisions - no wonder some find it stressful and difficult.

ZandathePanda · 02/08/2019 08:46

There was a huge drop out rate from my daughter’s school last year and obviously that has a financial and emotional cost so she must feel happy going. A year out is the obvious way to go if she’s unsure.

Original poster
Monica53 · 02/08/2019 21:42

Thank you for replies x. I personally think a year out to mature and gain life experience! is invaluable..however have to wait till 15th

OP posts:
MarchingFrogs · 03/08/2019 10:23

There was a huge drop out rate from my daughter’s school last year.

Goodness, Zanda, do you know why? I must admit that I have no absolute knowledge of the drop out rates among students from our DC's schools, but the only one I have heard of was someone from the year above DS1. All of ours attend / have attended schools where those who want to apply for Medicine, Oxbridge etc seem to be well supported through those processes, but no-one pushed (by the school, at least) towards courses or institutions that do not interest them.

ZandathePanda · 03/08/2019 12:25

Marching the reason I know was that Dd’s teachers were aghast at the numbers and chatting about it. They knew because the school has to follow up the destinations of leavers after so many months for their records (if your school haven’t ‘hidden’ it it will be on their secondary school stats on the government website). The numbers the teachers were saying were way into double figures.

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