At 36, my life began changing in unexplainable ways. Hot flushes, brain fog, and extreme sensory overload all became part of my daily life. I couldn’t understand how I’d functioned fine my whole life until now.
My emotions were all over the place – one minute I’d be intensely up and the next I’d be down. Meanwhile my brain felt like it was barely functioning, so much so that one night I went to eat dinner and forgot which hand I held my fork in.
My mind was constantly racing but I couldn’t focus, and I struggled to socialise or manage tasks that I’d previously been fine with.
Not long before all this started, I had received a late diagnosis of autism and ADHD, which I was processing, but I knew these symptoms were something else.
My life was falling apart...I left my job, my relationships were breaking down, and I could barely run my household anymore. All the while, I had no clue why this was happening.
Looking for answers, I began doing my own research and found the Menopause Charity Checklist. I took my results to the GP, but they told me that I was too young to be experiencing perimenopause and sent me on my way. I knew that this was perimenopause though.
For more than a year I went back to the doctors, trying to get them to believe that I was perimenopausal and to give me the support I needed. Every person I spoke to dismissed me because of my age.
I had no coping mechanisms during this time and my life continued to crumble around me.
Eventually, one of the doctors agreed to test my hormone levels, and when the results came back, they finally listened to me.
I was prescribed hormone replacement therapy (HRT) at a low dose but asked to be referred to gynaecology because I already knew I needed a higher dose.
At no point did any of the medical professionals I saw make the connection between my AuDHD and perimenopausal symptoms, despite evidence that neurodiverse women can experience perimenopause earlier.
The link between neurodiversity and perimenopause was the missing piece of the puzzle in my case, but nobody made the connection. It left me feeling as though people thought I was making it up and like I was trying to wreck my own life on purpose, when in reality, this was something I had no control over.
There is such a disconnect between services and it can mean neurodiverse women are not offered the support they need, which as my story shows, can be detrimental to every aspect of our lives.
There is also little information readily available about perimenopause and neurodiversity, especially that it can happen at a younger age and that the severity of symptoms can be worse, so even women like me who look for help couldn’t find it.
For me, things have improved. Understanding why this is happening means that if something flares up, I can map out my symptoms and adjust as needed. But the reality is, I lost years of my life because I wasn’t listened to sooner. If the GPs I went to understood that there are links between neurodiversity and perimenopause, I could have been supported earlier, and I wouldn’t be having to rebuild my whole life now.
I still find managing Autism, ADHD, and perimenopause hard, but I am working on it.
Got questions about perimenopause? Wellbeing of Women’s free webinar, ‘The truth about perimenopause: your questions answered’, takes place on 28 October. It’s open to everyone and will be recorded if you can’t join live. Find out more and register here.