Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Contraception/sexual health question

18 replies

motherknowsbest · 12/09/2009 11:58

Feel a bit daft asking this but..
my DD who is 20 has just got a "serious" boyfriend and I know she is now on the pill- she's at uni.

Should they also be using condoms to prevent STIs and other stuff like her exposure to HPV/cervical cancer?

I know that she has had very little if any sexual encounters before, but not sure about him.

We are fairly close so I want to have "the chat" with her.

When I was in my youth, I did the pill and condoms but not together, as in those days AIDS/HIV etc etc was not prevalent and neither was the connection establsihed between multiple partners and cervical cancer.

Just want to stay up to date with best health advice.

OP posts:
KerryMumbles · 12/09/2009 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thandeka · 12/09/2009 12:49

seconded. Always always condoms.

Plus is good practice to go for regular full sexual health screen.

Disenchanted3 · 12/09/2009 12:51

I've never used a condom,but very different situation,

tell her to use them always,

TBH Im sure at 20 she knows this already!!

Disenchanted3 · 12/09/2009 12:52

Think your 'talk' maybe about 6 years too late!lol

BitOfFun · 12/09/2009 12:54

She is a big girl now- get your nose out of her sex life

You seem awfully familiar...

Thandeka · 12/09/2009 13:48

I disagree about it being too late or not saying owt to keep your nose out of her sex life.

I work in sexual health and think the message needs to be consistent from everywhere and I know when I was 20 I probably would have considered sleeping with someone I was in a relationship with if I was on the pill - it's now I know the stats that I wouldn't dream of it. Also condoms don't protect against ALL STI's so screening is a definite too.

DH and I had moved in together before we went without condoms and that was after 2 full clear sexual health screens. But think that was more because of my knowledge and career rather than any general built in safe sex knowledge from my early twenties so defo worth a chat with her.

BitOfFun · 12/09/2009 14:11

Thandeka, this poster has posted this, and admitted on this thread to being a particularly poisonous troll with a proclivity for drawing out people's sex stories, when not killing threads in Bereavement with their own brand of fantasy. That is why I was terse.

Original poster
motherknowsbest · 12/09/2009 14:29

BOF- I can assure you that I am NOT anyone else to whom you refer. I am a regular but name changed for my DD's annonymity, just in case.

I am offended to think that by asking a factual question, I am being flamed for supposedly being someone else, or that it's not my business, or that it's 6 years too late.

Not all young people have sex at 14- my DD had 1 short term boyfriend at 18 and this is her 2nd.
She is quiet and academic.

I would have thought that being close and being able to discuss sex and contraception etc was a GOOD thing, not one to be ridiculed.

I know my DD better than any of you, and what is appropriate to discuss. I was asking for facts, not a lecture. Thanks to those of you who gave me facts.

OP posts:
Original poster
motherknowsbest · 12/09/2009 14:32

And one extra for you BOF- my DD recently had to take antibiotics for a throat infection- she phoned me from uni to ask if her pill would be effective still, and what to do if not.

The "prying" you suggest is not really there.

OP posts:
Disenchanted3 · 12/09/2009 14:33

I wasn't suggesting your daughter was having sex at 14/6years ago, I was suggesting you should have had this talk with herback then or started being more open with her about sex then so that by the age in which she got a steady boyfiend it would have been very much known to her about these things.

Original poster
motherknowsbest · 12/09/2009 14:35

Well we aren't all perfect are we D3? Better late than never is my take on that.

Sorry to sound bitchy, but wait til your DCs are in their 20s and just see if you have done everything by the rule book.

OP posts:
Original poster
motherknowsbest · 12/09/2009 14:37

Gosh- D3- you are terribly assured and opinionated for someone barely older than my DD- and you have no kids- that says it all.

OP posts:
Disenchanted3 · 12/09/2009 14:43

I have 3 children,

and 3 teenage sisters who confide in me as well as our mother, so I know alot about teenagers and their relationships thankyou,

Disenchanted3 · 12/09/2009 14:46

Don't rely on 'profil too much, alot of people don't bother with themor update them

Disenchanted3 · 12/09/2009 14:47

*with them or update them

sticky keyboard!

Original poster
motherknowsbest · 12/09/2009 14:47

D3- well perhaps you should sort out your profile- it say "she has no children". It's a bit confusing at 1st glance.

Maybe by the time you are my age- 30 years older than you- you will realise that parents don't get it right all the time.

OP posts:
Disenchanted3 · 12/09/2009 14:49

Oh no I realise that right now. Parentings awfully hard but I just plan to be as open as I can be with my 3 sex wise. Well thats the plan anyways.

Disenchanted3 · 12/09/2009 14:53

Changed profile just for you

New posts on this thread. Refresh page