Mum has breast cancer. How can I best help her after today's lumectomy?

[Spidermama]

I'm going to see her tomorrow and spend a few days with her. She lives 200 miles away. DH is doing school runs and getting the kids back to school. He has no work for a week or so (freelance).

Anyway how long will mum need me for?
What can I expect?

She had the op' today and has to wait 2 weeks to find out if it has spread.

Any advice or experience welcomed.

Hi Spidermama

My MIL had lumpectomy earlier this year. She stayed in hospital one night and was back home the following afternoon. She was in good health and good spirits. The district nurse came each day to check on dressing and her drain thingy - assuming your mum has the same, it's quite reassuring to have nusrsey come each day!

My MIL just cracked on with stuff to be honest. She has terrible arthritis, so she need help with bra and other clothing jobs up and over the lump site but really, she could have managed if she'd really needed to.

Talking and laughing were the most important things to her. Company and someone to share the experience with her (FIL died last October).

Results day wasn't too bad either - few moments before going in to the consultant's office were suddenly became 'loaded' and tense though.

The real hardwork comes with the after treatment - MIL had radiotherapy and shlepping up the hospital every day for three weeks was tiring. Chemo, as you can imagine and if it's what is required, is an even harder slog. Gird your loins either way.

Like I said, company, laughter and 'normal' chatter about the children and everyday stuff were the order of the day right after lumpectomy, for us anyway.

Best wishes and I truly hope she gets the best possible outcome.

Thanks doodlez. That's reassuring.
I am concerned about the upcoming radiotherapy sessions as none of her children live anywhere nearby and we all have kids of our own.

I wonder if they'd let her have her sessions elsewhere so she can come and stay with one of us and we can look after her and take her to and from the hospital.

It's worth asking, definitely.

I did many of MIL's sessions (driving her) BUT her mates organised themselves into a driving rota as well - she has a good circle of friends from church.

People do want to help, Spidermama. Let them, if they offer. It helps them in a funny kind of way as well - feel like they can actually do something IYKWIM.