Just got back from the Amazon with this weird disease...

[MrsMerryHenry]

...can you help, dragonbutter?

Rofl!

Symptoms please?!

have you got any aloe plants?
what you need to do is cut open the leaves and put the sap on some toasted pinenuts. Grind it up with a pestle and mortar and put the paste on you big toe.
Leave it there overnight and then let a parrot lick it off (if parrots lick, i dunno), you should be fine after that.

Yours sincerely
DocDragonbutter

Or put Vicks on your feet and keep your socks on.

But what kind of parrot? Will an Amazonian parakeet do (they live in London these days - what with global warming 'n' all), or will they just exacerbate my symptoms?

hobbgobs - well, my toes hurt (very perceptive, db!) and so does my left eyebrow, which has also swollen and gone yellow.

oh right, sorry, didn't realise you wanted a consultation.

erm.

right.

so what hurts?

hobb - does that actually work for coughs?

does your toe hurt when you raise your eyebrow?

Absolutely!

But I do love to spout the wisdom of others and pass it off as my own.

any parrot will do.
just so long as you see it first with your swollen yellow eye.

Strangely, when I raise my left eyebrow, my toes tingle. But when I raise the right one it hurts like hell.

I tried it once on DS, hobbs - did nada. But only tried it for 2 nights as I expect all cures to be instant.

it's probably tonsilitis

Off to bed soon. Nighty night.

ok, night.

Night MMH, hope you feel better in the morning!