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Original poster

Painful sex. Advice please!!!

19 replies

spookycharlotte121 · 30/10/2008 00:37

Dd is nearly 5 months old. When I have sex it can be really uncomfortable. Missionary position is fine but anything that goes deep is horribly painful. It is definatly a pain inside rather on the outside. I went to the walkin centre and had a full STD check as my exp was a player and had cheated on me but that came back clear and the doc couldnt see a problem with anything.

Its starting to really bug me. I had issues with sex before I had kids in that I dont climax very easily. And now topped off with pain it makes sex a pretty rubiish experiance. I also find that I just dont get the sensation and feeling that I used to get before having dd. Its no way near as pleasurable and basicly im getting rather frustrated. Im not really sure what to do!

Help please!!! I miss good sex

OP posts:

blinks · 30/10/2008 01:10

could be endometriosis...

zazen · 30/10/2008 01:30

Wow Blinks that seems a bit extreme!

Did you have a vaginal births with your kids Spooky? Did you have a tear or a forceps delivery? You could have scarring in your vaginal wall that isn't as flexible as muscle and it can 'pull' and cause pain.

And have you had a physio check out your pelvic floor - you could be a bit goosey loosey down there if you haven't been doing your Kegels / pelvic floor exercises.

Try and get a referral from your GP to have physio - it could be nothing other than that you had your DD only 5 months ago, but it will help if you have scarring and loose muscles.
Pelvic floor exercises will help you amazingly throughout your life, as doing them makes sure you don't become incontinent when you're old!

HTH and good luck!

blinks · 30/10/2008 09:01

Why is that extreme zazen?

VaginaShmergina · 30/10/2008 09:04

Endometriosis has many other indications blinks, I think that's why zazen thought your comment was extreme.

spooky, do you have issues with your periods at all ?

likessleep · 30/10/2008 11:19

Are you breastfeeding?
I found sex painful for months and months (almost as if my DH was too big). Hurt a lot upon entry and gradually got to the point of being bearable.
I stopped b'feeding when DS was 11 months and since then, sex has got back to what it used to be, but took a bit of practice.
Mind you, I had ventouse/stitches, so I do also think it takes longer to heal than the '6 week' guidelines.
Not sure if this helps or not, but it may be a factor?

blinks · 30/10/2008 16:00

i have endometriosis myself and it was the only symptom I had actually...

Original poster

spookycharlotte121 · 30/10/2008 18:40

When I saw the doctor at the sexual health clinic he said I had endometriosis because I have always suffered from very painful periods. Im not bf. Dd is bottle fed. When I had ds last june I had a third degree tear but when I had sex afterwards it wasnt painful like it is now since having dd.
Im not very good at my pelvic floor exercises so perhaps it would be a good time to focus on doing them properly.

The pain is when were in positions that go deep IYSWIM. But its not as pleasureable either. meh.... my sex life sucks. Although my bf isnt very good in bed.... he doesnt listen to what I want so perhaps thats got something to do with it all.

OP posts:

Original poster

spookycharlotte121 · 30/10/2008 18:41

Just to add he didnt mention that the endometriosis could also make sex painful so i didnt think to link to two.

OP posts:

Pitchounette · 30/10/2008 18:58

Message withdrawn

Original poster

spookycharlotte121 · 30/10/2008 19:22

how would they go about checking that Pitchounette ?

OP posts:

blinks · 30/10/2008 20:00

it makes sex veeeeeeeeerrrrrry painful spooky... you need a laparoscopy to diagnose it and then you have a choice of treatments. It's a chronic condition so it never goes away completely but laser surgery can help enormously... maybe I wasn't being so dramatic after all (had to get that in, digdig).

FrightKnot · 30/10/2008 20:11

I would agree with the otehrs about having some investigations for endometriosis.

I also have endo and I recognize your description of "deep" pain.

I have found in the past just making sure I am in a position where I can "control" things (without wanting to go into too much detail ) helps.

Pitchounette · 30/10/2008 20:32

Message withdrawn

Original poster

spookycharlotte121 · 30/10/2008 21:26

Oh heck that sounds rather daunting. I havnt a clue what a Laparoscopy is. The pain during sex is becomin quite a big issue. Missionary is fine but anything that goes deeper is just unbearable. Its not exactly a stabbing pain. Have just seen that thing on enbaressing bodies about a woman who tore badly so perhaps it has something to do with that.

I think i need to see the doc and see if I can get refered to a gynocolagist. So sick of people looking at my foof. Just want things to go bk to normal.

OP posts:

solidgoldskullonastick · 30/10/2008 21:29

I think you do need a referral to a gynaecologist, because none of us can really diagnose your foof online.
Sometimes having sex in certain different positions is helpful especially if the bloke has a big love truncheon and/or is a bit clumsy with it.

Original poster

spookycharlotte121 · 30/10/2008 21:31

So do I just go to my doctor and ask for a referal?

OP posts:

Pitchounette · 30/10/2008 21:32

Message withdrawn

Original poster

spookycharlotte121 · 30/10/2008 22:32

i will get an appointment next week then. thanks for the advice. i really appreciate it

OP posts:

zazen · 01/11/2008 23:21

"Endometriosis has many other indications blinks, I think that's why zazen thought your comment was extreme" YEP, and I thought the diagnosis was a bit fast off the blocks without an investigation TBH!

OK so you have endo Spooky? Well sorry to hear that, but your GP should be able to refer you to a gynae and a physio also.
Both equally as important, especially if you have scars internally and have loose pelvis floor muscles.

best of luck with it hope your sex life perks up soon.

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