Not sure if this should be in employment issues, BUT...

[GodzillasBumcheek]

I get massive debilitating migraines fairly frequently, and currently they are not under control. They occur about once, maybe twice a week at the moment due to stress, but thing is, i have a toddler to look after.

I don't feel capable of looking after her when i have one of these headaches (they often come with vomiting, and i literally cannot concentrate enough to form a thought other than 'God why won't it stop'), but the older kids have just started Secondary School, and DH is working.

What can i do? Is there anything solution other than asking DH to take time off?

You didn't put it in employment issues!

Anyway, first of all go see the GP and insist on a referral to a neurologist. You're right it's dangerous to care for a tot when you can't stand up straight. But there are no easy solutions, other than getting the migraines sorted out.

What has been done so far to treat them?

What is the stress caused by as well, can you sort that out?

Can i actually ask to be referred? I assumed it was just the GP who decided when it was necessary

So far to treat them i have been using over-the-counter remedies such as aspirin based to abort the migraine (i use Asda Extra Power which is same as Anadin Extra), or when pain has started i use Boots Brand Paracetamol and Codeine (effervescent tablets), but only if i can hold them down.

I also make sure i eat a protein and carb snack (or as much as i can force down) and drink plenty of water. this way i usually avoid a few days of it before i get a biggy.

A couple of weeks ago i was prescribed Sumatriptan but even if i could take it forever and the effects would stay the same, it doesn't always work anyway (especially if i wake up with the headache).

Unfortunately the stress is unavoidable as it's caused by my neighbours. We're currently trying to move but not affording it very well.

D'you reckon i should put it in employment issues then? And if so - what under? It's not me who's going to work so i can't put it under the 'Going Back to Work' topic.

I would go and see an osteopath, preferably a craniel one if at all possible in addition to seeing your gp. If you are that stressed then everything in your neck/head will be tense and compounding the affects. I know several people who've seen major improvememnts in reduction and less severe migraines through treatment.

I get migraines and I can't look after my young dc when I have them - if they're really bad I can be in bed screaming/wailing with the pain! My big trigger is eating cheese and when I'm tired - I'm fine with mild chedder etc but nothing stronger!

My GP prescribes me something to stop the vomiting - has yours not offered you anything like that?

pizotifen (Sanomigran) is a preventative drug, which helped me greatly. Then, at first sign of migraine, I would take Sumatriptan.

In the last few years of either being pregnant or breastfeeding, I have been unable to take them. I find that taking 2 paracetamol & 400mg of Ibuprofen together & lying down in the dark can ward it off if I act quickly.

Avoid the codeine - not a good medication for headaches, and has been shown to increase frequency of them.

Uriel - no

Cargirl - i do meditation and can release the tension in my neck and head if i try - but the times i get stressed is when my neighbour plays music and i can't see this co-inciding with either appointments for seeing an osteopath (also i would have to take DD3 with me), or opportunities to meditate! Sorry, i know that sounds blunt and dismissive, i can't think of any other way to put it!

you don't need to be stressed when you go??? It will be looking at the long term underlying tensions that have built up over years!!! What they do is physical, move stuff around back to where it's meant to be?

Oh

Well i dodn't know did i? I never said i was intelligent

you just need to palm off dd3 and find a local craniel osteopath............It is quite expensive but it should really help/cure them but go to the GP and get some decent medication in the meantime.

Right two major problems

1. I have no money to pay for the treatment and

1. If i could palm DD3 off on someone i wouldn't be on here asking what to do when i can't look after her!

honestly I would take her with you, with some lunch and strap her in the puschair!!! Or your dh takes the time off work because his dw has a medical appt that she has to attend alone.

I personally would go to the GP and cry continually till referred. Also, go see the health visitor, explain that this is causing problems in your ability to care for your child. She can lobby for treatment.

You are entitled to request counselling on the NHS - six one hour sessions if you are stressed. You can also request referrals and most GPs are happy to oblige, if not ask for a second opinion, once they realise you are serious about seeing someone, most will pass you to a specialist, lest you drop dead next week of a brain tumour and they were the one who refused to take it seriously.

Also a lot of GPs are now offering extended hours which might make things easier in terms of childcare. But I do know what a nightmare it is, I have a newborn and a toddler and have had to take them to consultant appts and it's a blooming nightmare (who holds the baby and stops the toddler escaping while you are prodded?)

I will go and get a referral Right This Minute...no wait, it's a Sunday...well, ASAP then. But seriously, i actually did see a counsellor and guess what she said?

There's nothing she can do for me as i already know what's causing my stress, and it's not me that's the root cause. Basically she said i need to move house. Er, yes love i'm trying! I tried to be courteous as she was a nice lady, but i felt a little exasperated!

TBH the main thing i am concerned about is how to get care for my DD while i am in the process of getting the pain under control. I think i will try Employment Issues for that!

A neurology referral will probably take a few months and even then they will probably have expected you and your GP to have tried a few more things prior to being referred. As you already know, the main issue is dealing with the root cause and trigger of your migraines (stress)- and I'm afraid no amount of drugs or neurology opinions can deal successfully with that.

There are lots of other things that can be tried- different analgesia, antiemetics, pizotifen, even some antidepressants are used. Have a chat with your GP about your options.

How do you currently manage your stress? Do you have any social help/hobbies/cat to kick?

Can't concentrate on hobbies, but i do like crafting and gaming. Bit difficult to do when DD is around though.

Cat? No...and kicking the Guinea Pig would probably hurt it a bit too much!

Erm....social help? What do you mean?

By social help I meant local friends and family, not someone from SS coming to give you a wipedown with a flannel! Does anyone babysit occasionally?

Even if you can't fully concentrate on something in depth, just do a little bit each day. 10 minutes once kids are in bed to do a bit of crossword/sudoku/knitting/whatever floats your boat. You don't have to be mega-productive, just empty your brain for a few minutes doing something you enjoy in peace. I have been reading the same book for 3 months (2 pages each day) which is my only respite.

I sympathise- I have a 8m old, no family or friends nearby and dh works 2 hours commute away so can't get home easily in an emergency. I also get the occasional shocking migraine and it has been a real struggle to manage ds- I usually get through the day with some heavy-duty painkillers and antiemetics and stick him in front on the his Mr Men DVD with a magazine to tear up (OK, I'm a bad mother).

LOL...you can't be that bad if you have coped 8 months with no help during the day!

No, no family/friends i can call on anyway. And i just about coped before DD was walking but not any more.

DH is on his Work Placement for a few more weeks, but i also really need to find a long term solution if he is ever going to work 'proper'.

What I didn't mention is that I've been going slowly crazy over the past 8 months!

IKWYM. I tend to spend awfully long times sat on the toilet when DH is home, just to get a break (provided i'm not sat there listening to the neighbours, anyway)