Hi allgonebellyup,
Are you OK? I've just searched for your recent posts, as your OP worried me, and see that you have had suicidal thoughts before, and recently. I also see that tomorrow is going to be a difficult day for you, so think you could be in a really dark place at the moment.
PLEASE DON'T DO ANYTHING SILLY!
Please remember that your children need you alive! If they lose you, their lives will be ruined forever. Please try to get help, so you can be there for them as they grow up. I'm sure things can get better for you if you get help.
Is there anyone in RL who you can talk to? Have you called the Samaritans? - tel 08457 909090 - www.samaritans.org/. What about your doctor or NHS direct?
Please get help!