Please give me a rocket to stuff up my ass

[HotTrouserCough]

Yours faithfully

Constipated

oh righto..
do the rest yerself

dh used something in the past sachet from doctors, fibrogel i think thats it..i have uber healthy bowels
have you tried the usual loads and loads of water, dates prunes et al??

Eat very high fibre diet
Water i try to drink as much as i can
Prunes tried
Apricots tried

coffee and a fag

Put some gloves on and ....

Curry?

Tried curry

Coffee i can do and would love to have a fag(always worked before)but gave up 3 years ago

blackcoffee -Are you volunteering?

yes a fag oughta do it

dont fancy one to get it shifting old times sake?

tee hee... no

but I ended up calling the doc out when I was preggers because I was sooo bunged up it was doubling me up in pain... he left me some sterile gloves and told me to get on with it... painful as hell.. rather gross but it worked! LOL

yes i have heard all about their salad on food hygeine courses,dont fancy dysentry.

bump

seriously dull, but for the first time in about 15 years i am not constipated - I ahve pooed every day for over a week thanks to ......... a huge bowl of Dorset Cereal super high fibre muesli with some pure all-bran added, each day for breakfast or lunch. Doesn't taste too bad and the effect has been just amazing. I really have always had such problems with my bowels and this has made a massive difference.

ooh where do i buy that from then?

Tesco / Sainsburys / Waitrose definitely all have it - costs a freaking fortune but is worth it!

Thankyou

Would this help? WARNING WARNING do NOT click this link if you are easily shocked or offended or think that it's not nice to offer mischevious suggestions to poor bunged-up people.

O M F G

Why just use it for cracks...

OMG They do truncheons too!!

Why would anyone want a t-shirt telling everyone they stuff big plastic dildos up their bum?

I like the rocket

jesus christ that's huge

as a serious solution try lactulose

I believe you can still get glycerine suppositories which are supposed to be very effective: ask a pharmacist. (SGB making up for last night's flippancy with a genuine helpful suggestion )

"go for a pizza hut salad - renowned........ "

and I thought it was just me!! Yep, would deffo recommend that, it works for me!