Ds (4.7) has big hole in bad tooth. Guilt. Dentist has TOTALLY BANNED all sugar/sweets etc.

[Oblomov]

We both went to the dentists today. He has a big hole in his back tooth that she filled. She said back milk teeth may not fall out until he was 10, i.e another 5 years, but that filing may regularly fall out.
She has forbidden all sweets chocolate, biscuits, juice, squash. Total ban.
No fruit unless at mealtimes.

Ds eats for england. Snacks on healthy stuff and yes, occassional chocolate biscuit or ice lolly, in between meals.

I feel terrible.

But is she being a bit extreme. On TOTAL BAN ?

Agree - seems over the top. What did she say about things like yoghurt, baked beans, ketchup, dried fruit etc etc - all the foods with high 'hidden' sugar content?

She is being very extreme, and rather unfair on you and your ds. Some children have teeth more prone to decay then other children, even if you look after his teeth.

I personally would stick to good tooth brushing twice a day, and limit sugar as an after dinner snack. I would try and steer clear of fizzy drinks and fruit juice, but don't ban anything outright, that will only make him feel resentful and likely to rebel.

I agree that it seems extreme. If it gives you any peace of mind, I had FOUR fillings in my milk teeth, but (so far) have ZERO in my adult teeth and I'm 34!

I am so glad you posted. I really feel for you. Yesterday whilst cleaning DS(7) teeth I noticed a hole in one of his milk teeth. Like you I felt terrible (He is 7 and I still clean his teeth!!! so why??) I phoned the dentist who didn't really seem bothered and has booked him in for a weeks time. In the meantime I am desperately trying to reduce juice, sweets, etc (although like you he doesn't really have that much) but does eat regularly all day long. I am in utter turmoil, and sick with worry for what will happen next week. I know this doesn't help you really, but just had to post to sympathise with how you must feel

I too think she is being OTT - and not entirely fair on him to TOTALLY ban all these things. It could possibly lead to unhealthy attitudes to food. IIWY I would do the following:

1. No more squash, juice only diluted.
2. occasional choc biscuit etc. fine, but after meals if at all possible - brush teeth or (if not possible) eat a piece of hard cheese afterwards.
3. make own ice lollies with diluted fruit juice.
4. I would not limit access to fruit - but again try to get him to eat a piece of hard cheese afterwards.
5. regular use of disclosing tablets.

oh my god... did you know the tooth was bad?

if you make sure he normally eats healthily and brushes his teeth, you should not feel guilty. like belgo said, some kids are more likely to get tooth decay.

tbh it is not her place ot pronounce 'bans' anyway. She is not the parent. I care a lot about healthy eating but I think that would rile me.

what are disclosing tablets?

I agree Bero. DD has high cholesterol and I will not impose bans on all the bad foods as I believe this will just create food issues when she is older. I am just trying to teach her that some things as treats and she can't have them often.

I agree with those who say some children are more susceptible. I didn#t go to the dentist for 5 years as a young adult (no excuse, I know) and was not exactly extremely scrupulous about tooth care, and after all that only needed two small fillings - my first ever. I do get awful tartar, though.

Just to add - DS had to have a filling in one tooth, which then got worse and (so our dentist said) needed to be extracted. I wasn't happy, so took him to another for a second opinion. That dentist said it was the design of the tooth which had caused the problem, and suggested root canal instead, which we went with.

Belgo is right - some children are more prone to decay.

belgo - (usually) red tablets that you chew after brushing teeth and that 'stick' to and show up leftover plaque.

that's interesting berolina.

IMO the best advice the dentist gave is to keep eating between meals down to a minimum.

AFAIK everytime you eat/drink something savoury or sweet (inc fruit and fruit juice) your mouth produces acid which is harmful to teeth.

So if you have snacks they should be given at mealtimes (when the mouth is already acid).

So in the ideal world fruit and sweets and chocolate and squash and juice are best given at mealtimes - and not in between meals.

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Cod, you could say the same about chocolate or biscuits or sweets or 'proper' juice. No child (or adult) needs them, either.

I have two high school age children . My son is the eldest and has perfect teeth, my daughter needed two fillings in her milk teeth . Her second teeth have been fine. They both ate the same diet etc. I think some people have stronger teeth than others.

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Right. back. Thanks for replies.
Its o.k. Cod, ds normally drinks water. We all do. And at mealtimes. But yes he does have occcassional squash.
And ds lives off fruit aswell. He snacks for england. He eats bananas, melon, peaches, satsumas, oranges, strawberries, grapes. She said no to all of these. She said they all had hidden sugars. Yes, I guess they all do.

I posted on a thread the other day , about how much ds eats. ALOT:

7am - 3 weetabix. 2 slices of toast.
I hour later banana, orange and satsuma. Hour later crisps.
Hour later grapes and tiny packet of raisans.
Lunch at 12.30- big tin of baked of baked beans on wholemael toast. 2 small yougurts.

Breadsticks and dip
Grapes
Ice cream

Dinner at 6.30 a bowl of home made spag bol, than a 10 year old would eat, and 3 pieces of garlic bread.

Home made apple crumble and custard

before bed, said he was hungry.
Banana and slice of toast.
glass of milk

He is clearly going through some sort of hunger spurt at the mo. But then he has always eaten well. There is nothing of him.

So, at the time when dentist said all these things, I felt so bad, I said said "o.k."

But now I have got home. What exactly does she think he is going to snack on ?
I think she is being a bit unrealistic here.
Maybe even a bit precious. God forbid.

Fine is your child doesn't want to eat much. What about for those who have children that do ?

And I don't think it is 'real' that a child should never have chocolate/bisuit/ EVER AGAIN ????

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No, its not realistic, IMO if you do total bans - unless the child is the one deciding with you to go for it, and you're just supporting them - they will rebel.

Teeth are strong or not according to genetics - though obviously diet and brushing matter a lot too. I have hardly any fillings, dh has lots, he is much better at brushing the full two minutes/flossing/eating less chocolate than me. Very unfair, but no one's fault.

Might be worth asking MNers to come up with lots of low sugar snacks you can fill your hungry ds up with though, since the subject has come up? I give my dds ham sandwiches at bed time if they are still hungry - though my mother would faint at the ham part (nitrates)

She's banned all fruit? Mad.

Am interested in whether she has kids herself.....

You've got a hungry boy there! Can you move him more to veges for his morning snacks, and try and cut down to just one snack time am/pm, but a bit more substantial? Something like carrots might be better, as they are more filling and less sugary. Dried fruit are also not a great idea, as they stick to teeth. Could you try giving him some protein at breakfast (boiled egg maybe) as this will digest more slowly? Try looking in a GI cookbook for ideas - all to do with giving him slow burning energy so he doesn't need topping up quite so often. My dh moved our children to a three hourly eating pattern (he is a body builder himself) for a while, and it did cut down on the endless "I'm hungry" calls, partly because they knew that the next meal wasn't too far off, and partly because we said no, as we knew the next meal wasn't far off and felt they could cope with waiting.

I'm also wondering about fillings that are so likely to fall out - perhaps she should have removed the tooth instead?

Did she seal the teeth and floss duraphat through the molar contacts?

Did she seal the filling she put in?

she should have done both