Worried about dd1 (3 1/2) who has regressed with potty training,

[Jenkeywoo]

dd has never been great at potty training - it took a long time and she has never been able to go more than say an hour and a half - still wears a nappy at night and definatively needs it. We had got to the stage where she was in pants all day and was doing pretty well - probably more or less one accident a day usually late afternoon when she's tired - but we kind of grew to accept that.

In the last week or so it has got much worse - 2 or 3 full wees a day and pants and trousers utterly soaked but also her pants are always a bit wet - she seems to be leaking wee all of the time. I'm concerned about something like a UTI but the thing is that she only really has these problems at home - she can go 3 hours at playgroup without accidents.

Things are hard at home - my other dd who is 2 is disabled and very very needy. DD1 has had to be very grown up for her age. I have also been depressed but now having started anti-depressants and am realising that dd1 has been a bit neglected due to the amount of time and effort it takes to look after dd2. I have been trying really hard to give dd1 extra love and attention this week and tried to make her feel secure and not worried about her little accidents.

She is only 4 at the end of August and will start school full time straight away in September. I am really worried that she won't be able to cope and will have accidents at school. She is a lovely bright, chatty, funny little girl but for whatever reason she just doesn't seem to have bladder control.

Any ideas?

Don't be hard on yourself, life is full of less than ideal situations.
I think you are right that your dd's 'regression' is due to emotional problems/needs. But you are on the case and I think you'll discover that things can turn around pretty quickly for children once their issues and needs are being addressed. Good luck

Don't supposed she's constipated is she?

A full bowel can desensitise the bladder and be a cause of daytime leakage and wetting.

From threads I was on or followed when ds1 potty trained last year..

regression after a while seems to be quite normal. Don't make a fuss, carry on as normal and she will soon be back on track.

Ds1 was day dry in a week or so then a few months later just used to wee wherever he was sitting or standing, it went on for a few weeks before he got the hang of it again. I think its because when you are potty training they get your full attention and their mind is on their bladder all the time. Then you and the child take your eye off the ball so to speak and they regress while their mind adjusts to dryness being something they have to do day in day out and not just during the potty training/attention phase.

I think the problems is that it's not just regression now - she has never really been on top of bladder control. Other children seem to be able to go 3+ hours but she has never been able to do more than an hour and as soon as she is asleep loses all bladder control. It is like she is not aware that she needs to go. I keep thinking along the lines of a UTI but feel that if that was the case she would have been in pain and would told me by now.