DH has cancer and I'm getting scared now

[Alloverthegrapevine]

It's become apparent that he's not well since the beginning of lockdown. Lost a lot of weight and sleeping all the time, which is not at all like him.

I persuaded him to go to the doctors about
6 weeks ago, several blood tests, three scans and a stay in hospital later we now know what's wrong - large tumour on his kidney.

He has an appointment on Tues with the consultant who will remove it, so everything has moved quickly, can't fault the NHS etc etc.

However, since the diagnosis he has gone downhill rapidly. I expect some of it is the stress and anxiety caused by the diagnosis and the thought of what's to come but he had an early night last night, spent the morning mostly on the sofa and has been sound asleep on the bed since noon. He's eaten only a piece of toast.

Do I leave him to sleep or wake him to try and get him to eat something?

Oh your poor husband, and poor you. I would gently wake him, give him chance to wake up and offer food, he needs to keep his strength up. He may not be able to stomach it but at least give him the option. He'll be low on fluids if he's slept for so long, that's so important.

Let us know how you get on. X

I'm so so sorry. Sending lots of prayers x

If there has been a marked change in his condition it might be worth getting him seen before Tuesday - it sounds like blood tests might be needed. He could be dehydrated or have a high blood calcium level. I would suggest calling 111 for advice. Thinking of you.

Hi came across your message and want to say I'm so sorry you're going through this.

My DP has been suffering with needing the toilet a lot for 6 months, last week he had bright red blood in his urine and was sent to A and E, where they said it may be a burst blood vessel in his bladder. He's woken up this morning in immense pain and again peeing blood. He's gone to A & E and they've given him a CT scan and he has a growth on his kidney.

He's just rang me from the hospital and I'm in shock. He's going for more tests to see what the growth is. He's not lost weight or been particularly tired.

I hope your husband is feeling better after the weekend.