What's available to help a doubly incontinent elderly person? Things like Pampers Care Mats to put on the bed???

[Fauve]

My dad, in his eighties, is having radiotherapy for rectal cancer. He is finding the resultant diarrhoea very distressing. I'm thinking of asking his Macmillan Nurse if she can get him a commode to use in his bedroom, but also something like Pampers Care Mats on his bed would be good. Surely they make things like that for the elderly? Clearing up the mess is not easy for him

If anyone has any info re useful aids, I'd be really grateful.

TIA

The DN should be able to provide continence pads and bed sheets and the like.
Good luck (poor ol Dad eh?)

kylies are good waterproof pads (and comfy) lots of nursing homes use them, but they take an age to dry. maybe that with disposable sheets from DN on top. You can get kylies from blushing buyer

Thanks, Scattyspice. He's not seeing a DN. The local services seem a bit hopeless, TBH. He has to do his washing himself, by hand, which doesn't seem right. I live miles away

Shall I ask for a DN? Can he have one of those as well as a Macmillan Nurse (who only seems to ring him, not visit?)

There are loads of products available, both disposable and washable. The Macmillan Nurse is probably the best one to ask for advice.

In the meantime, Milton offer some free samples of some of their products so might be worth looking at.

Best wishes to your dad and you.

Thanks, Gess and SaintGeorge, will follow those up tomorrow. Any other thoughts re District Nurse? Why do you think the Macmillan Nurse isn't going round?

He should have someone visiting him, that is terrible service for a man in his 80's

I'm surprised the radiotherapy/oncology depts didn't arrange some sort of cover with the appropriate departments.

I know mum had brilliant help from the Macmillan Nurse when dad was ill and she visited a lot. Dad however was terminal and in a lot of pain, so I don't know if that made a difference to the amount of help they got.

I'll have a word with my mum tomorrow, she is in our local Patient Liaison Group for cancer patients, she might have some ideas. What Health Authority does you dad come under?

Thanks, it's Worcestershire.

The PCT should have a continence service that will provide all the continence aids he should need (well, that they decide he needs). He should be able to access the service via either a district nurse or social services. If you know which PCT he is under then ring up their Patient Advice and Liaison Service (known as PALS) and explain the problem and they should be able to put you in touch with someone who can help.

If you don't know whihch PCT he is under then they cover geographical areas, so if you put the name of the council/borough and "PCT" into Google you should find it, or there is an alphabetical list here: www.nhs.uk/ServiceDirectories/Pages/PrimaryCareTrustListing.aspx

Sorry to hear about your dad's illness. The district nursing team should be able to arrange a commode and incontinence pads. Perhaps the local Social Services team could help with laundry service?

Tel number for Worcestire PCT PALS is: 0800 917 7919 or e-mail: [email protected]

Gosh, thanks for all these leads I thought the Macmillan nurse was meant to be responsible for coordinating local services for him, yet it's not happening. I thought I would ring her in the morning and see what she is prepared to do. But I'm a bit worried that maybe she's not up to it. However if I contact other services, wouldn't that be going behind her back? Maybe I'll offer to contact people like the continence servicde and see what she says.

Another thing, actually, is that his GP seems to be showing no interest in him whatsoever. I don't think she's seen him since May. Obviously he is under the hospital now but still I would've thought the GP would see him? It really feels like he's falling between services atm.

Nobody's said he's terminal but in your mid-eighties cancer is pretty serious. And actually he's got two, one in his stomach as well

The Community Nursing team should be seeing him. You can request their services via the GP. They may not actually be based at the GP surgery (they tend to be based in a centralised location nowadays) but phoning the surgery would be your first port of call. You may need to speak to the GP if she hasn't seen him for months, insist on doing so!

Don't worry about 'going behind the back' of the MacMillan nurse - multidisciplinary teams should work together. I'm sure they won't mind.

The community nurses can then assess for supplies of continence products, arrange loans of commodes etc. Depending on the area he may also qualify for other services - here we have Dustbusters to help with cleaning (means tested but the amounts paid are very low) and other agencies that can help with any personal care (which can include washing clothes and bedding.)

Hope you get it sorted.

If you are very lucky there may be a continence nurse who can help your DF - ring your Gp's surgery and ask. Sometimes they are a rarity and hence aren't quickly available but worth a try. I hope his symptoms ease soon.

Thank you so much, Sidge and FlossaLump. I've just been talking to dh, and will definitely ring his GP in the morning. Honestly I don't know what I'd do without Mumsnet

Thanks everyone for your best wishes, too. I've just spoken to dad on the phone and he sounds very frail. I will try to pull out all the stops for him.