How do you know if your child is too ill to go to the child minder?

[bohemianbint]

My DS is 13 months and has been going to a childminder 2 days per week for 3 weeks.

He's really not happy tonight, I dunno if it's teething related but his nose is streaming and he's really upset. He hasn't slept at all today (he never does at the child minders) whereas usually he has a good 2-2.5 hour nap in the day. He's up now screaming and has been for an hour, which is pretty much unheard of, so I know he's not right.

Thing is, I've only been back at work a few weeks and I'm having a nightmare with my boss at the mo. I don't want to give him grounds to say unreliable but my son has to come first.

How do I know if he's well enough to go? And how do I handle boss if I don't go in?

Depends how you feel about leaving him if you think he is unwell, and also what your childminders policy is for taking unwell children. You can always use this to explain to your boss that you have no choice ; that c/minder will not take unwell child, because a lot won't. Either that or see how he is in morn and if not too bad take him to c/minder if she'll have him. Bear in mind a lot of minders will call you back from work anyway if he screams or cries all day and seems ill.

CM says she's ok about taking him if he's ill, I'm just worried for him and want to be there for him if he's really unhappy. No one tells you this parenting lark's going to be really tricky, do they?

You've said it already: your son has to come first. That is your gut reaction, so trust your instincts.

You say that he goes to the cm two days a week. Does that mean that you're only working two days a week? If so, could you perhaps stay home and then work an extra day next week instead?

I hope your little one is feeling better soon.

Thank you. I think if he's up screaming all night I can't really send him because I know he won't sleep there tomorrow either and it'll do him no good at all. God, boss'll love me, he already wants me out in case I have another baby...

Don't panic. You are legally entitled to emergency dependant's leave, although this is usually unpaid. Your boss cannot get rid of you because your child is sick. Its really tough going back to work. Hang on in there, it'll get better.

Can you phone in sick for yourself, just say you've been up all night not well.
Not an entire lie

Tell the whole lie. Don't even mention poor ds. Just ring in sick in the morning. You won't be comfortable if you take him to the CM, so just take the line of least resistance and tell your employers that you're feeling unwell.

And whenever this crops up in the future, do the same. Never bring ds into it, if it's at all avoidable.

If he's not napping at nursery (and at 13 months he'd normally be having several naps in the day), then perhaps he's over-tired and a little run-down at the mo as a consequence?

I would wait to see how he is doing in the morning, sometimes DS seems like he is gearing up for an awful day and then he wakes up all smiley and being himself.

BTW I didn't send him to nursery if he had a fever or seemed upset due to illness, and obviously if he had a more serious contagious disease as chicken pox.

Cheers. He's been awake for an hour and a half now. That's in addition to losing 2.5 hrs today. I hope he'll be better in the morning, but I know I'm starting to suffer with lack of sleep myself now, so to say I was ill wouldn't be a lie!

Thanks for all the help ladies.

How is your little one today?