Embarrassing problem... impossible intercourse.

[MrsBonnie]

I may cross post this if that's ok - just want to get some advice really. I have been to the doctors twice and currently on a 3 month waiting list for gynaecology.

Since having my baby 6 months and and what I presumed was me healing up, sex has been impossible. I don't just mean painful, I mean there's almost physically a block inside stopping my husband's penis getting very far in. (TMI) when he uses his fingers it's fine.. he says he can feel a really tight bit of skin or something? At 3 months post partum the doctor said my cervix was hanging low and some pelvic floor exercises would help. I don't think that's the problem. I have been religious with these to no avail.

He is pretty large down there which might be an issue? I would even be happy to grit my teeth and bear the pain if I thought it would get easier but it honestly seems like a brick wall is being hit. I also feel discomfort when I go for a run or do vigorous housework. Please help :(

Have you tried to feel for anything? It seems odd that with fingers there no issue

I don't have any advice except to see your GP. Sounds like it would be good to check how you've healed x

Definitely go back to your GP to get checked!! I had a prolapse about 8 mths after having my son but that felt more of a bulge down below.

Read the OP - she is on a waiting list for gynae!

If your husband can feel something, then there is clearly an issue, which hopefully the gynaecologist will be able to sort out for you. Keep up with the pelvic floor exercises, as they can't do any harm, and are good for your general tone in the area, but there probably isn't much more you can do except wait for the appointment, and maybe lay off the heavy housework/running for now.

Agree with PP - have a feel for yourself!

@MrsBonnie I'm 7 weeks postpartum and have the same issue. At my 6 week check the gp said its probably everything still healing (though she didn't do any type of examination) & said to go back at 3 months pp of things hadn't improved

Sounds a little like a prolapse to me, hope gynae can get you seen soon. I've had stitches and all sorts but nothing physically moving into a different place. Look after yourself and don't pressure yourselves to have sex

I had a forceps delivery with my eldest. Had trouble with sex for a while after, was so painful! I was going to a post partum exercise class, run by a physiotherapist, who mentioned that if anyone had problems with intercourse hurting, to talk to her. I ended up getting an appointment with her, and she said my perineum was in constant spasm, which is why sex hurt. I had ultrasound therapy on that area, and that solved the problem. Just sharing in case this helps anyone else.

I had this and my doctor (or a doctor) actually prescribed me with thrush treatment. I didn't have the usual thrush symptoms just the blocked vagina and painful sex. It seemed to work. I would never have guessed thrush though.

After my first I can honestly say I didn't feel completely back to normal in the sex dept until 18+ months really.

I had this after my first child.

Turns out I had overhealed and there was a growth of skin/flesh that made penetrative sex impossible. I was a born again virgin essentially. I joke now but it was horrible at the time.

I went to my GP, was referred and had it removed as a day surgery case. Took 4 months in total.

All better now and no issues with second child.

Thanks for your responses! I had a feel last night and I was shocked at the scar tissue from where they stitched me up. It is making the entrance to the vagina SO tight so a penis going in is impossible. I’m not sure if you can massage scar tissue to make it more flexible. I got a bit of a fright when I felt it. It’s so inflexible though, I wonder if it will need more than just massage.

@MrsBonnie - you CAN absolutely massage scar tissue to make it more comfortable, flexible and softer feeling.... I’m a massage therapist with a specialism in ScarWork, it’s such an amazing therapy and so gentle but really effective. You can do it yourself but in my experience it is not as effective. You need to find a ScarWork practitioner that can do vaginal work as I understand currently in this country you need a medical backgound. My tutor for example is a trained nurse so she can do it. I’m not sure what the etiquette of giving people outside links are but if you (or anyone else) would like to be pointed in the direction of help PM me or just let me know it’s ok to post that kind of link.

Also re prolapse it would be helpful to go see a women’s health physio, who can make sure you are doing the right kind of exercises for you and that you are doing them correctly!

I second going to see a Womens physio. She will help you work with it in a safe way and monitor progress. Its important to fet the issue properly defined. There could be prolapse there too if you get a heavy feeling. Running would not be good for a prolapse.

OP I had a really bad scar after ds1. Sex was really painful as was trying to use a tampon. I kept being fobbed off and was told it would sort itself out and even that it was psychological. I eventually insisted on a female gynae who immediately diagnosed keloid scarring. I had to have the scar cut and restitched but it was great after that.
I was fobbed off for 18 months.