DH appears to have total impotence due to long term drinking and I'm scared he'll kill himself

[Ownprivatebottlebank]

This is not the only symptom, he has trouble sleeping, is frequently depressed, has big non-headed spot type things all over his back, chest and legs constantly - like boils, and is a grumpy git.

He's not had an alcohol free day since he was 16 apparently.

But I do love him. It took us ages to get pregnant because of the impotence (unacknowledged by him btw, he's just tired).

Claims at least one bottle of wine a day does not represent drinking too much!

Have made him agree to go to the doctors 'for a check up' to coincide with his early retirement (he's 50).

What I was wondering was, should I call the GP first and explain my concerns so that he asks the right questions? I really don't want to lose my DH. Nor do my kids.

Could you not go to the appointment with your DH?
Or send a letter in advance to the GP?
Maybe even visit the doctor first, alone, and explain your concerns. Maybe even write them down and give the GP a copy.
Then when your DH goes to see the GP, you can be certain that everything is discussed.

He wouldn't go with me and he'd be really cross if he knew I'd spoken to the GP first. But I don't really see that I have any choice. He will go along and say he is a 'moderate' drinker, but if the GP does a liver function test - which I really think he needs - it'll be obvious won't it?

Thanks for replying btw.

I think I would insist on accompanying him to the GPs, if he is likely to downplay the seriousness of his drinking.

I wouldnt normally advocate getting involved in someone elses healthcare, or going behind their back, but in this case it does seem justified. I think I would do as you suggest and make sure the gp knows the full situation so he/she can ask the right questions and do the right tests. You are obviously concerned and it will do no good if your dh goes along and doesnt tell the full story.

I hope he gets some help.