Way tmi- bum related- sorry

[Kenworthington]

My bum keeps intermittently throbbing/twinging, like a kind of muscle spasm thing? It twinges a few times and then stops for a while then starts up again. It's potentially my actual bum hole. I may or may not have a slight pile up there, slightly protruding. No pain, no bleeding, no other symptoms. Wtf is it? It's weird, it's uncomfortable and I just want it to bloody STOP dammit! Any ideas??

I'll be the first to suggest Javelin Arse

Because it sounds like something I get, and that was the nearest diagnosis MN came up with!

Javelin arse?? What?!

I know, weird name. I can't remember the proper medical name that someone said, but Javelin Arse sticks in my mind.

Basically a spasm in your back passage that can leave you gasping for breath and doing breathing exercises to get through it. But it feels like something/someone has jammed a sharp implement up your bum

Oh I get that AS WELL. I am truly an utter delight. This is def more a twitchy throbbing than the javelin stabbing. Fgs. I have such weird ailments

Perhaps it IS your pile. There maybe an internal one that's producing the weird sensation. Maybe try some pile cream (Anusol) that comes with an internal applicator too. If that doesn't work then perhaps get your GP to have a look.

Javelin arse 😂

I get this too (as well as javelin arse!). I put it down to a twitch, a bit like the kind i get in my eye from time to time! No idea if that's what it is though! I don't have piles as far as I'm aware.

I think I read somewhere that it's cramp.