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Anyone with experience of borderline personality disorder?

12 replies

officiallycrazy · 22/02/2007 01:17

I've just been diagnosed with it and am scared...

OP posts:
Incodnito · 22/02/2007 01:28

Oh hun, try not to worry 2 much, sometimes its a term they use when they have no other diagnosis.
It is not a great name to use as it doesnt really make a lot of sense.
What are your symptoms? Are you on meds?

Hugs.

officiallycrazy · 22/02/2007 01:34

Thanks for your response...

I feel like I'm a crazy person who will never work again.

I am on ADs and an antipsychotic (but was told it was for sleep - it's a really low dose). I thought I was just depressed, but apparently being chronically suicidal, self harming (done very occasionally to divert the suicidal feeling), feeling empty & disconnected are key symptoms.

They will review my meds over the next couple of weeks. I just feel like I should give up now.

OP posts:
Incodnito · 22/02/2007 01:43

Ah pet, dont feel like that, You have a chemical imbalance, you are not crazy!

All those things can also be symptoms of severe PND by the way.

Personality disorder is a term used to encompass a wide range of symptoms etc.

Medication can work wonders, give them a couple of weeks , u might need dose changed or meds changes but you will get there.

Dont give up!
You are not so crazy that you havent managed to get help, you have got help, things will get better.

officiallycrazy · 22/02/2007 01:47

Thanks. It was just hard to hear and, having googled it (which my dr told me to do) I am more scared than ever.

OP posts:
Overrun · 22/02/2007 21:32

What they are essentially saying, is that although they need to treat the depression now, that there are longer term issues to be dealt with.
Its a difficult one, because some people experience this as a stigma or an unhelpful label. I think it can be a positive, as it usually means or can mean, that with the right talking therapy you can address the personality issues that you have.
I take it, that you have had a troubled childhood, which still affects you today?
Often Cognitive Behavioural therapy is offered, although sometimes a psychodynamic approach is offered (psychoanalysis) if you know these terms.
The Borderline bit, can be explained as volatile moods, not manic depression, but emotions that are very up and down or that you find hard to control. Perhaps you have slightly less control over your emotions than other people?
Self harm can often be associated with this diagnosis, although not always.
I hope some of this helps, and that you get the help you need

pinkbubble · 22/02/2007 21:48

Please dont despair, I was diagnosed over 5 yrs ago with a personality disorder and at the time it frightened the life out of me, the way I looked at it was people were looking at my personality, not my problems. I had a lot of help over the next few years, I had a named CPN and had a Social Worker. I have to say now I have little help, obviously have some problems now and then but most of the time manage to sort through them, I have no CPN or SW now but I am having CBT for a phobia. I honestly feel that quite often they give you this label when you just dont fit into the right boxes, as I have known other people to be given this diagnosis when their symptoms are completely opposite to mine. HTH

pinkbubble · 22/02/2007 21:49

And I have a little part time job for 12 hrs a week

pussycatmomma · 22/02/2007 21:59

please dont feel crazy. I was diagnosed with having a mix of borderline/+ other personality disorder about 5 years ago now. At first it was a very frightening thing to be told, but to be honest, like someone else said i think, the medics use it more as a diagnosis tool. I researched it like mad on the internet at first, but although i fitted the type on some things (prolific self harm, low self esteem, probs with relationships) other stuff was way off the mark.
There are sites you can go to for support, but be aware of these....i found they can "draw you in" and not necessarily help.
dont be scared....you are still "you" at the end of the day, label or not.
if you would like to chat anytime just let me know and i will leave my email addy for you.
Take care of yourself x x

pussycatmomma · 22/02/2007 22:01

by the way, since diagnosis and various sorts of help, im now married, settled, and continue to go out to work, its just that i need more support in some areas of my life.
hth.

pinkbubble · 22/02/2007 23:55

PCM I couldnt of put that better. Spot on

officiallycrazy · 23/02/2007 03:46

Thanks all for your replies. It's good to know that at least a few people understand this and are not as freaked out by it as I am!

atm, I do feel like it is a stigma but I can see how there can be a positive side to it and I am working towards that. I just don't think I have the energy to do it. Everything seems a bit much.

Overrun, I suppose I did have a troubled childhood (sexual abuse) which I never dealt with so I'm it does still affect me although I try not to think about it. I am not sure I have the mood swings but I do have deep depressions which I pretend don't exist for a while. I self harm (occasionally), have (had) eating problems and in retrospect, am probably not a very nice person.

I think my concerns are about the future, or DS's. I'm not too bothered about my future but I need to be able to work and if my medical records are checked, I won't get a job. I am worried they may take DS away because they think I am 'crazy'. There are a million thoughts going through my mind right now. It is reassuring to hear positive experiences of PDs - maybe there is some hope. I just need to pull myself out of this and work out what to do. Pussycatmomma, pinkbubble, thank you so much for sharing your stories.

I am going to stop posting on this thread and focus on the one I started in Feeling Depressed (same thing, I just didn't know where to post and now I can't keep up! Please don't think I am being ungrateful.)

Thank you all SOOOO much.

OP posts:
hk78 · 26/02/2007 22:13

hi officiallycrazy, i've only just seen this thread. i am sure you are not 'not a nice person' you are simply a person who has suffered in life and this is how it manifests itself.

my beloved best friend was diagnosed with bpd a few years back (after a breakdown which had been building up for years tbh).

(in her case, giving it a name was better than the years of uncertainty knowing something was wrong but not knowing what)

there are a lot of sites online about bpd, however a lot of them are not that helpful, i'd recommend \link{http://mind.org.uk\this they are very much giving you the facts and not opinions iykwim. (sorry not good at doing links)

we've talked about it a lot and we both think that, yes my friend does match the list of symptoms (well, she used to before the treatment and medication) but that so do lots of other people we know who don't have that label, so who knows?! it's just a name for a group of 'issues' it doesn't make you into a different person

at the moment, she is still on the same medication and probably will continue that indefinitely, (but if you were diabetic you would accept taking insulin,so don't rush to come off the meds)if you are still feeling depression maybe you need an adjustment or change of tablets?that has happened to her several times.

BUT she has built her life back up when she didn't think she would, a good life and friendships/relationships are possible. (she has 1dd, boyfriend,me,brother)

try not to feel scared, it's one day at a time, and on days when that feels too long, then it's an hour at a time.whatever works for you at the time.keep your chin up.

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