My Grape Of Wrath.

[KingJoffreysRestingCuntface]

Yes, I have a pile.

I've had others, they popped, bled and fucked off. It was fine.

But this fucker is HUGE. And perfectly spherical. And it hurts.

I've been slapping the pile cream on but this can't continue. At some point this week Tesco will run out out of it and I'll be left desolate and alone.

Also, putting my finger in my bumhole is just not my thing. (Obviously no offence meant to anyone who enjoys it.)

What can I do?

Stick a needle in it? Tie dental floss around it and wait for it to drop off? What?

It has to go. I cannot cope.

Do you think one of the Sporner's Corner guys might come round and help me??

Blimey Joff you don't have much luck with your fundament, do you??

I don't, no.

The whole area is a shambles. Never really recovered from 3rd degree tears during birth. (DS came out with one arm over his head - 'To Infinity and beyond!' took on a whole new meaning.)

Surprised I'm not accused of being the MN Butthole Troll.

Any cures, though?

Yes, the cure is suppositories on prescription from your doctor, plus a referral if needed.

Lol Joffrey are you me, my DS came out like that too!
Same tears, same random bottom friends that disappear and reappear every so often :(
As an aside, why are tears and tears spelt the same, and why can't I differentiate between the two when I type?