uncontrolled anger

[bjba]

My LG has just turned one! and recently I get so angry over anything when it's just me and her, i have never caused her any harm and I never would but just the smallest thing will send me off shouting and balling but then as soon as I'm around someone or her dad comes home nothing effects me I don't get what's happening to me can someone help??

If you're fine around other people then it's likely you've had enough of being with your kid 24 hours a day and need something else - like going back to work, hobbies etc

The key thing is not to beat yourself up (but equally don't do nothing about it cos your child will suffer) and get on with fixing it

You need time away from your child so structure your life so you get it

Could be frustration at having to be responsible for her. Gets to us sometimes. What is useful when you feel strong emotions is to pretend someone else is in the room who cares for both of you. This helps you to not treat her any differently than when others are around. So you are not yelling at her when you two are alone, but all nice to her when someone else is there. You could be angry at something or someone else in your life but you see something she does as the 'cause' of it. It's just what our mind usually does.
It's very very stressful and difficult being home all day with a young baby. It is very uppy and downy. Even more so if you have other stress going on in your life. If you thought you possibly could have post natal depression that might be a factor. You don't have to hide it in front of her but you automatically hide it in front of others and pretend you are fine. Maybe seeing a counsellor would help, or there could be parenting helplines you could ring.
You sound like a very loving caring mother, who is aware of her own feelings. That's a great start, hope you get some support to help you through this. Being able to see your own behaviour is half the battle. Also keep a diary on when you are most angry/find things most difficult. You might see a pattern, like when you are hungry like late afternoon, have had very little sleep, could be pre-menstrual etc.