Snoring DH - so tired I feel sick!

[justgoandgetalife]

Just got up after a horrible night listening to him snoring the place down again. Woke at 5, awake/trying to get back to sleep until about 7, then alarm goes off at 7:45. I'm now feeling so tired I could vomit.

Anyway the snoring has got so bad that I now go to bed earlier than DH so I can make sure I'm well asleep before he comes up and starts snoring; the DCs are asking how I can sleep through it at all; the house shakes with it; DH actually snores while he's awake! If I do wake to go to the loo or with a loud snore, that's it! I can't get back to sleep. We don't cuddle in bed any more as he shakes so much if he's asleep it's not worth me putting my arm round him to snuggle up.

A year or so back I got him to see GP as he'd stop breathing altogether at times - apnoea - so he got some nasal spray which worked well. He did keep it up for a while but hasn't renewed his prescription for months now. Now he just snores and I almost wish he would stop breathing for a bit just so I can have a chance to get back to sleep!!

Not sure what I'm asking really - just need some sympathy! I will try to get him to renew his prescription - he can't possibly be getting a good night's sleep either. Makes me look forward to the working week when he's often in a hotel away on site. Weekends are hell!

Does he know how loud he is? Record him and play it back.

If my DH is snoring I give him a shove and make him turn over - assuming the answer isn't that easy for yours?

Make him go back to the GP or sleep elsewhere in the house.

Insist he goes back to the GP, that can't be healthy!!!

The only thing I have found to help is wax earplugs. The foam ones are useless, but the wax ones that you flatten to seal your ears work much better. You could still hear a fire alarm and I can hear dd on the baby monitor at full volume, but I don't get woken by his snoring any more. I can still feel it through the bed, and hear it very slightly but nothing anywhere near as bad. I buy mine in boots, they come in a pack of 6 and you can reuse each pair twice.

I have sleep apnoea and have been using a CPAP machine for 2 1/2 years. Probably saved my life. The consultant reckons I'd snored for about 15 years prior to getting treatment.

Now I have a small box by the bed which is the pump, attached to the mains and a hose that is then attached to a face mask. Not very glam but I no longer fall asleep within 10 minutes of sitting down ... including whilst driving.
My commute for 13 years was a 45 minute drive on country lanes in Lincolnshire. I don't know how I didn't kill myself and others at times.
Get him back to the doctor to ask for a referral to the nearest sleep clinic. They will assess the severity of the apnoea and go from there.

Meow75: way more serious than my DH! So glad you got help.

Re my DH - the apnoea itself seems to have lessened but maybe I don't notice it quite so much as he's not at home all the time? How did you realise yours had got so bad?

My DH does fall asleep on his chair usually but he has a recliner so as soon as the feet go up, the snoring starts & I tease him that's he's turned it into an art form. Now I'm more concerned after reading your post. He commutes by train & he does most of the family driving when he's home, so I haven't noticed him dropping off at the wheel.

I will see if I can do his repeat prescription for him as he won't get round to it. I was very tempted to record him last night so will take my phone up tonight & do it.

Strawberry penguin : I shoved him a few times but he's a big chap so I'll need to shove harder next time!

If the prescription helped and he's not bothered to renew it then I'd be really annoyed tbh. It's not like there is no solution... Why don't you wake him up every single time he starts up and see how it feels?

He never has bothered to renew it - he's hopeless like that so I used to do it for him anyway (think the rules in our surgery may have changed so I can get for the kids but not for him?). TBH presumably he doesn't notice when he's away from home & doesn't have me to point it out, but makes being at home feel like a nagging session if I don't approach it the right way!

Look, just make him an appointment. He's probably got to the stage with repeat prescriptions where you have to see the doctor or something. Never mind nagging, how would he feel about being kept permanently sleep deprived?

Sorry, when I said 'nagging' that's not actually what I meant! I'm not nagging him about it but I do feel awkward telling him as I don't think he realises i really mean it when I say he's snoring badly.

I use noise cancelling earbuds and a white noise generator to drown out my dh's snoring, but it doesn't sound nearly as bad as the OP's dh.

It's still very frustrating though!

Got some wax earplugs & recorded him a couple of times last night.

When I played it to him his comment was that it wasn't that loud! Given it was on an iPhone, the volume is never going to be that great. He also doesn't believe that it travels through the house - DSs are often asking me how I sleep & my sisters certainly do when they stay over!

He worked at home today 9:30-3 (I was at work myself 9:45-2:45 so not sure how much work he did so let's assume the whole of that time). I then had a call to come to an interview at 4, so he came in with me as it was local and he needed some air. Got back at 5.

I was then straight into kids, walk dog, get dinner cooked, eat, clear up, do ironing, explain to autistic DS18 why he needs his NI number and go through form with him. Make sure DS16 calls in when he says he will as he's out with mates; remind YS12 to practise music & do homework; think about mowing lawn and decide not to; yadayadayada ...! All while he sleeps for more than two hours with the phone in his hand, on the sofa, snoring & dribbling (nice).

Now I'm shattered & ready for bed, whilst he has caught up on lost sleep & won't come up until about 2am if last few nights are anything to go by!

Is this sleep / snoring issues or is it really his totally out of sync habits?! I do suspect the sleep habits have come out of his lack of sleep due to snoring. Bit chicken & egg!

I could add that after dinner, he & kids all pissed off & left me clear up, do ironing, wipe worktops; figure out why dog has gone lame again; he's been dozing & snoring in front of TV all evening while I've been on my own again getting chores done!

that's ridiculous. You are telling him you can't sleep and are falling over from tiredness, and he just doesn't care and says he's not that loud?

Tell him that either he goes back to GP first thing tomorrow, or sleeps somewhere else. Sleep deprivation is a method of torture.

I feel your pain. It sounds like he needs to see the GP. Is he overweight?

OH snores, but since he had a major stomach operation and can only sleep on his back his snoring has got so much worse. I'm afraid I have moved into the spare bedroom because I need my sleep. Do you have such an option?

sympathy from me OP. I know well that feeling of anger, weepy frustration and sickness from sleep deprivation.

It's okay DH saying 'just shove me to turn over if I'm snoring'. If I do that it means I'm actually wide awake (again). I'd prefer not to be woken at all! Some nights I seem to see the clock every half hour all night.

Half thinking this sounds like it should be in Relationships rather than health.

It sounds like your DH is really being not so "D". He doesn't seem to care much about your health and happiness if he can't even be bothered to go back to the GP for something he already knows will help both of you sleep better, when you've told him how bad it's making you feel.

Also why does he think it's OK to snore all evening while you run around doing everything? Bet he's not doing chores when he stays up late afterwards, either...

Tell him he isn't welcome in your bed until he sorts his shit out.

DH is a terrible snorer. He wears a mouthpiece thing in bed, a bit like a gumshield which he got from some kind of sleep apnoea website. It has made such a huge huge difference - both to the quality of sleep that he gets, and the snoring.

I really feel your pain. My only salvation is that dh quite often works away in the week so I can catch up. I'm not really a sleeper anyway, but noise totally disturbs me.

That's the reason I don't really like the dcs to have friends sleeping over - I often come down to sleep on the sofa.

Concur with a couple of posts! I did toy with Relationships thread but it's more of a health issue for him. If he slept better, the better relationship would come back.

His snoring has been getting worse over the years. He didn't snore when we first met.

Re chores - yup, that's s whole other issue! Been working on that one too! Think there have been quite a few 'lazy husband' threads so don't feel the need to add another! I do often pop over on one to get advice though!