Post childbirth general anatomy confusion ;)

[theywereworthit]

I'm confused.

I have two children aged 2y9mo and 9mo. First birth was rough - left with 3a tear (extended episiotomy) and some others and then two second degree tears with baby 2 (although not in direction of perineum).

Both times mercifully I have healed quickly with no continence issues. No pain during sex.

But...I was having a look yesterday and my vagina is looking a right mishmash! Most concerning being I just can't see the opening to the anus! I can't locate it to use a suppository any more.

I mean...it must be there?!

Anyone have any insights? If all is in good working order with no pain is it likely to just be cosmetic?

This is definitely the most random thread I have started. But yes they were worth it ;)

Erm... if you poo it must be there! I don't know what to say OP! Keep looking...?

Start looking from the back, rather than the front, IYSWIM? Then whatever opening you come to first must be it. As Vashta says, it can't have gone away.. Touch is likely to be more helpful than looking as well. Good luck

Haha thanks!! I know I agree it must be there!! Am so glad mumsnet is so anonymous ;)

Do you think as no pain and all in working order it is just cosmetic?

Can you feel it with your fingers? Then just move the mirror to where your fingers are and surely it will be there. Are you concerned that the holes have merged or something?

Yeah I guess I've always been a bit paranoid after the 3a tear that it would mess up my perineum. But I know logically it must be there and I think the general confusion is because there is excess skin there from the repair after my second baby. I'll have another look when I get 5 minutes to myself!!

I'm sure it's fine but i do understand your worry after such a bad tear.

I was shocked the first time i looked down there after childbirth to check my stitches. My vagina was a gaping hole and everything looked a little looser and stretched.

I'm sure you'd have symptoms if anything was awry.

Thanks ladies :) I know it's a bit of a crazy thread but you have made me feel a bit better.

And if able I would like to have another... Eek....