Is it ok to skip lunch every day?

[Mammaoftwins]

Hello!
One of my twin daughters (5yo) is a VERY fussy eater and she will not eat a meal prepared at school. Not ever.
She is on packed lunch, currently, but next year she’s going to be in a new school where packed lunches are not allowed as they prepare lunch for the children in the premises every day.
What if she does not ever eat lunch? Can she be healthy with a good breakfast (oat milk and a wholemeal toast), a mid-morning snack (banana) and another snack after school? (and then a good dinner at home, of course).

Please, advice.

Many thanks!

I'm sure she will survive, it's more than plenty of children survive on each day.
You might want to work on her food issues though in the meantime, or her new school will label her as a problem.

well oat milk is very low fat so wouldn't give her much in the way of fuel.

if you were seriously going to go down the no lunch route then i would think she would need a much more nutritious and filling breakfast than toast and oat milk.

something packed with protein to keep her going.

the children i work with would be STARVING by lunchtime!

hungry children can't concentrate well and their behaviour goes to pot.

Thank you! Working on the issue is absolutely a priority for me. I am just bracing for the worst...
She DECIDED that, unlike her sister, she is the one who doesn't try any new food ever. She has a healthy diet overall, balanced with different nutrients, though.

Thanks for suggesting to work on the breakfast protein and fat intake. I will have to do something on that side. Unfortunately, she is not a big fan of breakfast. She would only drink her oat milk (she's allergic to cow's proteins and soya) if I'd not insist on eating something solid...
And, yes, once she's hungry, her behaviour and mood go out of the window.... That is the other reason I am very concerned about her skipping lunch altogether. She usually have a VERY filling lunch.

I would appreciate any other comments and suggestions.

Thank you!!

Do work on her food issues and do make sure she has a really nutritious breakfast but don't panic! You may find that an extra year of maturity plus peer pressure plus lack of choice at lunchtime plus being really hungry mean that she has a go a things that she otherwise wouldn't. Also if she has "decided" she is going to be "the fussy one" then she may find that away from parental gaze she doesn't have to keep it up so rigidly at the price of being starving hungry all the time. Might take months/years mind...

Could she also have anxieties around food because of her allergies? My son has a nut allergy and won't eat certain foods "because they might have nuts in" even if I know they don't in this instance.

What could you do to reassure her about the food that is prepared for her at her new school? Would that maybe help?

Smoothies before school with the toast could help. Oat milk, add banana and a nut butter, plus spoon of oats. Blend.

so oyu have a year to work on it? i'll bet she'll be much betterin a year

Would she eat eggy bread? Baked beans?
I think that instead of playing to her wishes you'd be better off trying to persuade her to eat the school lunch. She will feel rather silly being the odd one out and it's also very much the staff's role to help her to join in- lunchtime is a social event as well as just for eating food.
I think that educationally she is going to be disadvantaged by not eating much during the day- she will run out of energy and the brain needs food to function. she won't be malnourished per se, if she eats well at home, but it will affect her learning.

Another thought based on your previous posts- is this her asserting her independence- she is 'the one' who won't try anything new...

This seems more about asserting her individualism and being 'different' to her twin than about the food.

I wonder if your other twin was a fussy eater she'd be a gannet? :)
worth thinking about the psychology behind her stance and not just the food.

I want to thank you all for your advices and support! I feel reassured about the nutritional side and I'll definitely work on the breakfast as a first thing. She is going to need more energy.
BTW, I don't have 1 year. They are starting Reception after Easter. (they were due to start last September, but I kept them in a Steiner kindergarten until now).

To answer pinkfrocks, she was the one who loved eating more than the other twin until she turned 2 or so. Then she started with this this "I don't try new things" (I started work part-time at that time. I link these 2 events very much... She is a very "mummy-girl"). Then she got that doing so she was making angry and... BINGO.
The other twin was a bit fussy as well, but now that she turned 5 she explained that it is time for her to grow and taste new staff _.

Again, thanks to all of you! I'll keep you posted :)

Your daughter who is a fussy eating is using it as attention seeking and trying to separate herself from her sister.

Rather than ask how to cope with this at school, why not try to take a new approach now? I'd give her a tiny bit of whatever she says she doesn't like - without comment- at each meal. I'd also throw away what she leaves without comment or grimaces.

Fussy eating is rarely about food. It's a control thing kids do. You don't have to play the game so step back and change how you react to her.

She's got you right where she wants you- all chewed up and trying to work round her demands. Time to take charge by ignoring her fussiness and just treating her food the same as everyone else's- without comment or fuss.

If I were you ( 23 years plus with a resistant eater!) I would talk to the school. They should definitely not label her a "problem"
In our county, meals are on a 3 week cycle and available online to parents. Could you find out in advance and see if there is anything on the menu she would eat? Bread should be available every day and fruit, even that would be better than nothing. There is always plenty of fruit in the classrooms left over in my experience of being an infant teacher.
Best wishes to you, I know how difficult it is and how worrying for us parents.